ThunderMaverick
Master Don Juan
- Joined
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
How did you learn how to masturbate?
- Thread starter MacAvoy
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
I don't know exactly the exact moment, but it was in the shower. I touched my d!ck with my hand and it felt really good.joekerr31 said:
So I continued and then I cvmmed. It felt so damn good that I kept doing it to this day.
comic_relief
ThatGuyOverThere
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2008
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Haha, hilarious thread.
I had heard people talk about it, but I didn't know how to do it. However, around the beginning of 8th grade, there were periods of time where I'd be extremely horny, but I didn't know yet how to "take care" of these feelings. I'd wake up in the middle of the night and have trouble going back to sleep. One day, after getting out of the shower, I just couldn't take it anymore. For some reason I just started tugging on my ****, and it felt amazing. After a little while some white **** started coming out, and I flipped out. It took me a few minutes to realize what I had just done, and I got really excited. I resolved to try it again another day in the shower so that I could keep the good feeling going and not have to worry about a mess. That was my disappointing discovery that the good feeling does not last forever.
Another funny story regarding this was several weeks I found out how to masturbate, I "lost" the ability to do it. I hadn't yet realized for some reason that you needed to be "turned on" for it to work, and I panicked for a few weeks until I finally found out the problem. I haven't had any problems since, fortunately.
I had heard people talk about it, but I didn't know how to do it. However, around the beginning of 8th grade, there were periods of time where I'd be extremely horny, but I didn't know yet how to "take care" of these feelings. I'd wake up in the middle of the night and have trouble going back to sleep. One day, after getting out of the shower, I just couldn't take it anymore. For some reason I just started tugging on my ****, and it felt amazing. After a little while some white **** started coming out, and I flipped out. It took me a few minutes to realize what I had just done, and I got really excited. I resolved to try it again another day in the shower so that I could keep the good feeling going and not have to worry about a mess. That was my disappointing discovery that the good feeling does not last forever.
Another funny story regarding this was several weeks I found out how to masturbate, I "lost" the ability to do it. I hadn't yet realized for some reason that you needed to be "turned on" for it to work, and I panicked for a few weeks until I finally found out the problem. I haven't had any problems since, fortunately.
Quiksilver
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2006
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- 2,813
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- 55
The first time I heard about masturbating was when my fishing buddy(he really liked fishing) told me in grade 5.
He asked me if I knew how to masturbate. Being the ignorant rat I was back then, I had no idea what that meant.
Since he liked to fish, I thought he was talking about MasterBait, a type of fishing bait perhaps.
--
First time I learned how was when applying moisturizing sun screen, in grade 7.
He asked me if I knew how to masturbate. Being the ignorant rat I was back then, I had no idea what that meant.
Since he liked to fish, I thought he was talking about MasterBait, a type of fishing bait perhaps.
--
First time I learned how was when applying moisturizing sun screen, in grade 7.
Munchking
Don Juan
these posts are all great.
I'm a bit of a late bloomer as in I didn't *** until i was 14... from "health" classes I knew all about the machinery and how it was supposed to work, so i started getting worried that my touching myself at an earlier age I had "broken" something...
i had gotten into the habit of closing my eyes during the orgasm, and one day i felt something sticky on my fingers...
I'm a bit of a late bloomer as in I didn't *** until i was 14... from "health" classes I knew all about the machinery and how it was supposed to work, so i started getting worried that my touching myself at an earlier age I had "broken" something...
i had gotten into the habit of closing my eyes during the orgasm, and one day i felt something sticky on my fingers...
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Mr.Positive
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2007
- Messages
- 1,855
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- 99
I was born masturbating. It's my earliest memory.
I remember my head came out first and that's when I saw the doctor that delivered me, a blonde with a nice big rack. I instantly grabbed my penis. Then I was born with one hand on my penis, and the other hand trying to grab the doctor's big t!ts. I think I may have even winked at her.
From there on, life's been good!
I remember my head came out first and that's when I saw the doctor that delivered me, a blonde with a nice big rack. I instantly grabbed my penis. Then I was born with one hand on my penis, and the other hand trying to grab the doctor's big t!ts. I think I may have even winked at her.
From there on, life's been good!
This time I blame porn.
This was when I was 12 and there was no internet.
I have never seen or thought about anybody doing any sex act but I heard about it at that time. If you lived in the early 90's as a kid, the only sex you could see was going to a dirty ass porn shop and buying a magazine or a movie (and no kid could pull that off). Other then that everything was pretty much sheltered as far as sex being exposed to the mainstream.
This one kid in my apartment building told me "yo come downstairs outside the building where there is an underground stairs, i got some magazines I want to show you". I was like ... "hmmm I wonder what kind of magazines? is it a sport magazine?!"
Well you guessed it, it was a porn magazine. The guy had tons of magazines in a box and he handed me one, and I opened it and it was the nastiest sh1t I have seen up to that point. It was like an early 90's penthouse magazines and all I saw were fvcking big hairy d1cks and balls going inside big hairy vaginas so I looked at that and I said " ohhh sh1t that is sickkkkk and grosss!!" but I kept flipping the pages and I wanted to see other magazines so I can see more hairy vaginas and big t1ts. I was disgusted by the big d1cks and fascinated by the hairy vaginas and big t1t women. Now that I think about it, this was also the very first moment I knew that I was stright.
So finally that night I felt my first stiffy so I grabbed a fvcking pillow and rocked against it and that is pretty much it. Its a good thing most women shave their pvssy now a days.
This was when I was 12 and there was no internet.
I have never seen or thought about anybody doing any sex act but I heard about it at that time. If you lived in the early 90's as a kid, the only sex you could see was going to a dirty ass porn shop and buying a magazine or a movie (and no kid could pull that off). Other then that everything was pretty much sheltered as far as sex being exposed to the mainstream.
This one kid in my apartment building told me "yo come downstairs outside the building where there is an underground stairs, i got some magazines I want to show you". I was like ... "hmmm I wonder what kind of magazines? is it a sport magazine?!"
Well you guessed it, it was a porn magazine. The guy had tons of magazines in a box and he handed me one, and I opened it and it was the nastiest sh1t I have seen up to that point. It was like an early 90's penthouse magazines and all I saw were fvcking big hairy d1cks and balls going inside big hairy vaginas so I looked at that and I said " ohhh sh1t that is sickkkkk and grosss!!" but I kept flipping the pages and I wanted to see other magazines so I can see more hairy vaginas and big t1ts. I was disgusted by the big d1cks and fascinated by the hairy vaginas and big t1t women. Now that I think about it, this was also the very first moment I knew that I was stright.
So finally that night I felt my first stiffy so I grabbed a fvcking pillow and rocked against it and that is pretty much it. Its a good thing most women shave their pvssy now a days.
Mr.Positive
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2007
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My grampa used to say to me.."pull my finger", and then he'd fart.joekerr31 said:
Maybe his grampa told him to pull something else.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
My pops worked at a zoo. So I learned from watching the monkeys (the animal not the uber-cool pop band) do it. Probably the only guy on here who ever wanted to spend the night at the zoo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ur754tgc8C0
I know what this is all about.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ur754tgc8C0
I know what this is all about.
WhitePimp
Master Don Juan
Mine's pretty gay...:moon:
I was playing Civilization 2 and I was possibly 11 or so, I dont remember. I thought the computer animated emissary for the Zulus was hot for some reason and I literally just instinctively "knew" that if I touched my penis I could get that fvcking tickly good feeling. I spanked it, and felt weird for jerking off to a computer animated chick. 11 years later and I'm a bonafide pro, I dont even get the awkward post-fap guilt anymore! :cheer:
I was playing Civilization 2 and I was possibly 11 or so, I dont remember. I thought the computer animated emissary for the Zulus was hot for some reason and I literally just instinctively "knew" that if I touched my penis I could get that fvcking tickly good feeling. I spanked it, and felt weird for jerking off to a computer animated chick. 11 years later and I'm a bonafide pro, I dont even get the awkward post-fap guilt anymore! :cheer:
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.