How did you handle your divorce or break up

[eli77]

They can be brutal but if you have never been married whole different animal

 

[Hamurabimbi]

What actually do you want to know?

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I handled it by not getting married.

 

[SW15]

I handled it by not getting married.

That's how I've handled divorces.

As for non-marital breakups, some better than others.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

That's how I've handled divorces.

I never knew that you were married. Explains a lot given your advice and genius I've recognized over the years.

As for non-marital breakups, some better than others.

When young and dumb. The good old days. At least then I could claim ignorance Luz!

 

[SW15]

I never knew that you were married. Explains a lot given your advice and genius I've recognized over the years.

When young and dumb. The good old days. At least then I could claim ignorance Luz!

No, I was saying that I have never married. I was saying I've done the same thing that you have done. Not getting married is the best way to handle a divorce. I am glad that I have not married. If I had married, I likely would have gotten divorced.

Non-marital breakups stink too.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

No, I was saying that I have never married. I was saying I've done the same thing that you have done. Not getting married is the best way to handle a divorce. I am glad that I have not married. If I had married, I likely would have gotten divorced.

Non-marital breakups stink too.

Totally misunderstood. I'm tired lulz. Same. Spent ages on game. If I was blue pill and unaware of female nature, I would have been divorce raped and obliterated.

Again, knowing is half the battle. I can't excuse ignorance nor stupidity even if everyone is playing house.

 

[corrector]

They are all in the past. Breakup was under 9 years ago and divorce was under 7 years ago. The breakup with the exgf who moved to New Zealand seems to be too rough even though I initiated it. The divorce ending was more stupid than rough and I was too worn out at the end. There is little to no nostalgia for the marriage, while there has been lots of memory lane trips exgf memory.

 

[lost_blackbird]

Badly would be the short answer.

 

[SW15]

If I was blue pill and unaware of female nature, I would have been divorce raped and obliterated.

Again, knowing is half the battle. I can't excuse ignorance nor stupidity even if everyone is playing house.

When I think about the United States, no fault divorce emerged in the early 1970s. That's 50 years now. All Generation X (1965-1981 births) and Millennial (1982-1996 births) grew up in a time of either rapidly escalating divorces and or an era of divorce as common yet an established practice. That covers everyone under the age of 56 at this point.

I know of early 1980s born Millennials who were the product of divorced parents who've already experienced their 1st divorces as adults.

"Playing house" as you put it is usually often a bad idea in Western nations. If you're a man in the United States consider having children with a woman, it is more likely than not that you and the mother of the child will not be in a romantic relationship by the time that first child turns 18.

 

[lost_blackbird]

I know of early 1980s born Millennials who were the product of divorced parents who've already experienced their 1st divorces as adults.

Mrs Blackbird was born 1983. We divorce in October. Her parents split when she was 5 after
just 7 years of marriage. She and I broke up after 7 years being married.

My parents just celebrated 50 years of marriage.

 

[Barrister]

I’ve actually had a harder time getting over my two non-marital LTRs than I did my divorce from my ex-wife. I think because my divorce was probably a year overdue when it finally got filed. It was more than time. In any event, getting in the gym and pouring myself into my career has always been the answer. Once I was in a groove with those two things, then seeing multiple women after that.

 

[mjb3617]

Last breakup was the toughest even though it was the shortest. Scarcity mindset and oneitis are terrible afflictions. The two before that not so much. The 2nd one I was close to moving in with her (was BP). I remember asking her thoughts on moving in together and she got really weird. We broke up a week later right after her birthday. The first one was so long ago I forgot the specifics. All I remember is she was whacko and I did myself a favor letting that one go.

 

[SW15]

I think because my divorce was probably a year overdue when it finally got filed.

When divorce happens, the relationship has typically been in zombie status for a while. Non-marital relationships typically have a shorter zombie phase, if they even have one at all.

When a marriage reaches zombie phase, that's typically when the infidelity happens. Another common path is when the zombie stage occurs, divorce is filed and one or both of the partners starts a new relationship during the 3-6 month period from divorce filing until divorce finalization.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

When I think about the United States, no fault divorce emerged in the early 1970s. That's 50 years now. All Generation X (1965-1981 births) and Millennial (1982-1996 births) grew up in a time of either rapidly escalating divorces and or an era of divorce as common yet an established practice. That covers everyone under the age of 56 at this point.

I know of early 1980s born Millennials who were the product of divorced parents who've already experienced their 1st divorces as adults.

"Playing house" as you put it is usually often a bad idea in Western nations. If you're a man in the United States consider having children with a woman, it is more likely than not that you and the mother of the child will not be in a romantic relationship by the time that first child turns 18.

MTR made a skit with his "foreign gf" plugging a based chick's content. MTR is less jerry springer. More based. Points out other cultures that are better than the west. That's all of them. The problem is that they become western and even the friend group who is foreign but been westernized LONGER adopts the dumpster fire culture.

Nice points man. As usual. Prior to covid I thought if at 50 I decided I wanted a family I thought abroad was a great way. Not anymore and the logistics were rubbish then. Worse now. I know older playboy's who got a family abroad. They made it to be a great time but it's a nightmare now. There's a transactional nature of this and it's overt.

Tbh I see monogamy useful only for family. In the west it's a detriment and the state has way over stepped their bounds. Big ups @Nomad capitalist. For fellas seeking to play house, finding a new home that encourages nuclear family and has lower taxes is a great time. Cobra tate mentioned such places.

The way forward for men following this **** up globally is to pursue ambitions domain independent. A man should be able to pick up and go on a whim. This is the bullseye. I do not negotiatewith terrorists. I won't be divorce raped nor have resources extracted via child support. Get up and go where treated best should be the first priority for men.

 

[Barrister]

When divorce happens, the relationship has typically been in zombie status for a while. Non-marital relationships typically have a shorter zombie phase, if they even have one at all.

When a marriage reaches zombie phase, that's typically when the infidelity happens. Another common path is when the zombie stage occurs, divorce is filed and one or both of the partners starts a new relationship during the 3-6 month period from divorce filing until divorce finalization.

You nailed it. I was checked out by the time I filed the thing. The relationship, in its truest sense, had ended long before. The only thing left was the legal status.

 

[SW15]

You nailed it. I was checked out by the time I filed the thing. The relationship, in its truest sense, had ended long before. The only thing left was the legal status.

I think marriages linger longer than non-marital relationships because of the legal aspect. I also think people tend to stick out marriages a little longer because of the whole wedding thing. A lot of weddings are a big fuccking deal, costly, and it takes a long time to plan them. Women file for divorce much more frequently than men, so you being a filer of the divorce was statistically less common.

 

[Dash Riprock]

They get A LOT easier as you get older as you learn not to take any s*it, cut your losses, and use IDGAF. NEVER put your assets in play with any woman. Ask any number of SS members who went through a divorce. The man *always* loses in family court.

As you age, you learn to take care of YOU first unless you have kids then they're #1 until they become adults then it's back to you being #1 again.

 

[Glassguy]

You nailed it. I was checked out by the time I filed the thing. The relationship, in its truest sense, had ended long before. The only thing left was the legal status.

Same here. When you sense a relationship is over, its best to move on. A new canvas is much easier to work with than one that has been in and out of the dumpster.

It can be scary to cut your losses and move on, but you realize soon after pulling the trigger that it is worth it. Life is too short to be with someone just for the sake of being with them, avoiding the failure feeling of divorce or just for the sake of kids, etc.

There are millions of able women out there. Go find a few more that better suit your needs.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

They get A LOT easier as you get older as you learn not to take any s*it, cut your losses, and use IDGAF. NEVER put your assets in play with any woman. Ask any number of SS members who went through a divorce. The man *always* loses in family court.

As you age, you learn to take care of YOU first unless you have kids then they're #1 until they become adults then it's back to you being #1 again.

@eli77 this^^

Currently going through one and I'm quite surprised how well I've handled it. Definitely unpleasant when it happens but as you age, mature, and realize people come and go.

Remember, she is not yours, it is only your turn.

And at the end of the day, you only have yourself to take care of. You also learn that being happy is a mindset, it's internal. It should never depend on something you can lose.

Last but not least, I recently came across a quote that I found was profound: When I let go of what I am, I become what I am meant to be.

It resonated because I've always had this philosophy about the concept of "I am" to be fluid. And when you think about in terms of relationships and breakups, those are fluid as well. It is all a journey, who you are, were, and the people that cross paths with you are all meant to be steps towards what you are meant to become. But you have to learn and accept to let go.

My two cents.


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