Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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How Did You Find SoSuave?

Anima

Don Juan
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How did you end up finding SS? What made you start the search, and how did you ultimately end up on the site?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Serenity

Moderator
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Eye of the storm
Was sick and tired of not having any success with girls. I had a strong growing desire to be with a girl, but was out of ideas of how to realize my desire. I realized I was doing something wrong as obviously I was not getting what I aimed for, I just didn't know what it was or how to figure it out.

I searched and read through various things I found online for about 2 weeks. Mostly just found cheap pick-up lines and advice that obviously came from guys with no idea of how it works. Eventually I came across a blog in my language that just hit the nail on the head. It put words to exactly how I felt about my situation, because of that I knew that they knew what they were talking about. They had been through the same and now they were successful. I spent some time reading that blog, found out they had a forum and made a user there.

From that forum someone linked to "Book of Pook", that too was great stuff that really made an impact on me. It linked to the PDF so I wasn't aware at first that it was a collection of forum posts. When I figured that out I found this forum, where Pook once was active.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Desdinova

Master Don Juan
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Nov 15, 2004
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After my fiancee had left me, I googled something along the lines of "tips on dating women". I ended up on a site called getgirls.com which had a few really good tips (along with a few 5hitty ones). The phrase "don juan" was used in some of their tips. One day, I forgot the URL and googled "don juan tips", and ended up here.

That was 15 years ago. Since then, my life has changed for the better.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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CMNILS87

Master Don Juan
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Jan 17, 2016
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Continually finding women of low value. I had some success and thought it was my personality type of sarcasm. The straw that broke the camels back for me was going on a few dates with a gal and getting "Oneitis" and thinking silly thoughts about babies and stuff. Slept with her and the next morning she said she was going to "meet a friend" for lunch.

She let slip it was another dude. I was like wtf and said this can't be the culture these days and started looking for information on how women think and i found this stuff only about a year ago. Dating is more focused on screening and listening to women to catch their tells and bull**** now. Back then it was be myself, flirt, and hopefully they like me and want to hang.
 

Asmodeus

Master Don Juan
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Feb 1, 2016
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Norfolk
I could care less about women, I did not come here for them. I do not need help dealing with them and never had problems, if anything they need help dealing with me. Had it been just a PUA site I would not have bothered, but it is more than just that.

I came here to better understand motivations and human behaviors. I came and asked a few questions, and to gain understanding... I found the forum to provide some very useful things. I also found it to provide acceptance, a very rare thing... This forum was not just about picking up women but there were injections of philosophy, psychology, self-improvement, and other such inclusions which made it something unique and interesting. I am a person who seek understanding and who also seeks to continually improve myself. I also seek to guide others, I consider it a kind of duty to make that which is weak stronger.
 

CuddleJunkie

Master Don Juan
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This forum was not just about picking up women but there were injections of philosophy, psychology, self-improvement, and other such inclusions which made it something unique and interesting. I am a person who seek understanding and who also seeks to continually improve myself. I also seek to guide others, I consider it a kind of duty to make that which is weak stronger.
And this is why I stayed....not a forum about PUA, but about DonJuanism...which is something different....really unique in the manosphere.
 

Dhoulmagus

Banned
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Had oneitis my senior year of high school, so I resorted to the internet. This site was more appealing because of the dj bible and stuff.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

Master Don Juan
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Right behind you
I came here to better understand motivations and human behaviors. I came and asked a few questions, and to gain understanding... I found the forum to provide some very useful things. I also found it to provide acceptance, a very rare thing... This forum was not just about picking up women but there were injections of philosophy, psychology, self-improvement, and other such inclusions which made it something unique and interesting. I am a person who seek understanding and who also seeks to continually improve myself.
Yeah I was too lazy to type out this whole thing, but it pretty much sums me up too. I wanted to learn more about PEOPLE. And well, despite this site originally intending to be about getting women, it also helps with understanding real social dynamics sometimes (something that the RSD forums were originally meant for but isn't really about despite RSD standing for 'real social dynamics' lol).
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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MrWood

Master Don Juan
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Mar 15, 2016
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Scandinavia
had a Oneitis... used NC, for myself.

why I stay...
learned alot about frame, mostly loosing it...
in between the lines there is solid PUA advice, but not PUA mentality
learn by other stories, advice, wins and failures

we are men, this is a mans place... be a man.
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
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Nov 23, 2014
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USA, Louisiana
My nephew came to me for help with women and mentioned that a lot of my advice was like a website he had seen... told me about this place a couple of years ago. Came here to check it out and thought "good stuff" and stayed. It really is all you need to get your sh!t together.
 
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