How did you become great and how long did it take?

[thunder_god]

Just wondering for all those don juan's out there, how long did it take you before you get good with women? As I have become aware recently through my futile attempts to get better, its a long painstakingly process. I know of some guys who have spent years and still are average at best, while others I have noticed got really good really fast.

Please don't respond to this thread if your a beginner or your in denial about how good you are. When I say good I mean something like you can go out this week and have at least 1-2 girls sleeping with you by the end of the week or able to get a few dates.

Also what did you do to become great?

 

[Maximus Rex]

Stop Worrying About How Long It Takes

I know of some guys who have spent years and still are average at best, while others I have noticed got really good really fast.

What constitutes, "really fast." I feel you should use Tyler as your benchmark. Tyler says it took him two years of going out everyday before he got good. Then when he got away from canned material and went with natural game, it took him a minute to develop his natural game because he went back to sucking with women. When I asked John from RSD the same question, he said that the average dude who is persistent in his sarging, it takes about six months to a year.

 

[thunder_god]

It took me about 3 years to become above averag with women from being an AFC in the sewer. Grated I was working/studying 70+ hours a week the whole time

What did you do during those three years to improve with women? Did you go out sarging every day or visiting nightclubs?

 

[_sideways_]

I wouldn't say it took me about 2 years to get good. By good I mean sleeping with chicks within an hour of meeting them and under the 2nd date. Getting kinod basically all the time I approach and talk for more than 5 minutes. And stupid number closes.

what I would say is that it took me about 2 years to constantly go out and have fun. Like I'm always out just talking to random cool dudes and girls who are looking sexy. Wether or not I get the lay. Also I have girls who are less than hot who are down for me to lay them so I don't care

I care more about my style and dress and so I'm feeling good out there in the jungle and therefore I am smiling with a sunny disposition.

I got good at attracting females and learned the difference between someone who is just giving you kudos for looking good and a girl who wants to fvck.

I do say random things sometimes which fvcks it up...but like I said, I'm not great, but I'm having a great time.

 

[Desdinova]

When I say good I mean something like you can go out this week and have at least 1-2 girls sleeping with you by the end of the week or able to get a few dates.

My best seductions take 2-3 weeks, but some will fvck on the first date.

It took a good year to become half-decent with women, but it took years to become fantastic. There's two things that you need to have going for you:

1) Dating/Seduction techniques
2) An attractive personality

The dating and seduction techniques can be learned quickly, but developing a personality that compliments those techniques takes a long time. Also, you should NEVER say "Okay, I did enough work and now I'm a professional". ALWAYS be improving. ALWAYS work toward being better.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

My best seductions take 2-3 weeks, but some will fvck on the first date.

It took a good year to become half-decent with women, but it took years to become fantastic. There's two things that you need to have going for you:

1) Dating/Seduction techniques
2) An attractive personality

The dating and seduction techniques can be learned quickly, but developing a personality that compliments those techniques takes a long time. Also, you should NEVER say "Okay, I did enough work and now I'm a professional". ALWAYS be improving. ALWAYS work toward being better.

We all learn it the hard way.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

for me I just wonder how long it takes for a guy to get good at just getting a girlfriend, getting an actual date or relationship, hook-ups and casual sex is fine too

 

[Mr Wright]

Just wondering for all those don juan's out there, how long did it take you before you get good with women? As I have become aware recently through my futile attempts to get better, its a long painstakingly process. I know of some guys who have spent years and still are average at best, while others I have noticed got really good really fast.

Please don't respond to this thread if your a beginner or your in denial about how good you are. When I say good I mean something like you can go out this week and have at least 1-2 girls sleeping with you by the end of the week or able to get a few dates.

Also what did you do to become great?

I've spent much of the last few years in relationships so it's only recently when I got single that I realised where I was really at. I know now that on any given night out I can easily get makeouts without really trying, I'm a pretty good looking guy, so sometimes it feels like I just need to go up to the girl, have half decent chat and not fück it up. I remember once I was proving a point to a friend who thought the girls were stuck up, I went over to a girl he thought was cute at the bar and made out with her within about 10-15 seconds. Some nights I've approached one or two girls and gone home with them that night. Nightclub game is about screening really quickly for who is up for it and who isn't, the girls who aren't up for ONS's just get my phone number. That way if they call or text me, I know it's on. I don't take my phone out in clubs anymore for club girls, they're too flakey for that. I remember one week at uni, I slept with 4 girls in a week, that was a real marker post as to how far I had come. In terms of daygame, these days I'd say for every 10 approaches I could get 2-3 numbers. Some days I can talk to one or two girls but get contact details for them, which is exactly where I want to be.

It probably also helped that I was hanging out with guys who were pushing pretty big numbers for guys in their early 20's too. My best mate's count is around 40, I remember he went through a 3 week patch where he got laid everytime he went out and this guy does not approach girls, they approach him. Don't ask me what he does because he's not amazingly good looking but gets results.

I have read a lot of literature on the subject but the one thing that got me from the guy at the start of uni who slept with one girl before getting into a relationship and the guy who left uni having a solid rotation + ONS's was the 60 years of challenge. That book just cleared my head of all the crap I'd read and got me on the path that got me what I wanted. I wanted to be sleeping with girls and I did.

In terms of average just think about how many women the average guy sleeps with in their lifetime. It's probably between 5-10 depending on where you get your statistics. Just be careful about what you're judging yourself against. But in answer to your question, I'd say that most guys in the pick up community are not sleeping with 1-2 girls a week consistently. In terms of a bellcurve that's the 99th percentile. I mean that's pushing about 60 girls a year, which doesn't happen often. You know in Project Hollywood, well they were there for ages and considering all they did was party and go out they weren't sleeping with anything like 1-2 a week. Neil did the best and even Mystery only slept with like 10 or something but don't quote me on that.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I've spent much of the last few years in relationships so it's only recently when I got single that I realised where I was really at. I know now that on any given night out I can easily get makeouts without really trying, I'm a pretty good looking guy, so sometimes it feels like I just need to go up to the girl, have half decent chat and not fück it up. I remember once I was proving a point to a friend who thought the girls were stuck up, I went over to a girl he thought was cute at the bar and made out with her within about 10-15 seconds. Some nights I've approached one or two girls and gone home with them that night. Nightclub game is about screening really quickly for who is up for it and who isn't, the girls who aren't up for ONS's just get my phone number. That way if they call or text me, I know it's on. I don't take my phone out in clubs anymore for club girls, they're too flakey for that. I remember one week at uni, I slept with 4 girls in a week, that was a real marker post as to how far I had come. In terms of daygame, these days I'd say for every 10 approaches I could get 2-3 numbers. Some days I can talk to one or two girls but get contact details for them, which is exactly where I want to be.

It probably also helped that I was hanging out with guys who were pushing pretty big numbers for guys in their early 20's too. My best mate's count is around 40, I remember he went through a 3 week patch where he got laid everytime he went out and this guy does not approach girls, they approach him. Don't ask me what he does because he's not amazingly good looking but gets results.

I have read a lot of literature on the subject but the one thing that got me from the guy at the start of uni who slept with one girl before getting into a relationship and the guy who left uni having a solid rotation + ONS's was the 60 years of challenge. That book just cleared my head of all the crap I'd read and got me on the path that got me what I wanted. I wanted to be sleeping with girls and I did.

In terms of average just think about how many women the average guy sleeps with in their lifetime. It's probably between 5-10 depending on where you get your statistics. Just be careful about what you're judging yourself against. But in answer to your question, I'd say that most guys in the pick up community are not sleeping with 1-2 girls a week consistently. In terms of a bellcurve that's the 99th percentile. I mean that's pushing about 60 girls a year, which doesn't happen often. You know in Project Hollywood, well they were there for ages and considering all they did was party and go out they weren't sleeping with anything like 1-2 a week. Neil did the best and even Mystery only slept with like 10 or something but don't quote me on that.

So which takes more practice and skill, approaching and attracting girls in terms of getting a date, a girlfriend or for hook-ups, casual sex and one night stands?

 

[The Duke]

It took me about 2yrs to get pretty decent with women. It took me about 3yrs to realize once you hit a certain level its the same old story and it comes down to a numbers game. During that time I was spending 2-3 nights a week in bars, clubs, on dates, or other social settings. I always had a couple women in the rotation. Typically after 2-3 dates sechs was happening naturally. Never went with out for more than a month. Sechs was never my focus/intent. The thrill for me was the "seduction" part.

The best thing I did was hook up with a buddy that was pretty social and had the same goals as I did. The more approaches we made, the better we got. Practice, practice, critique, and keep doing until it feels natural. I spent a lot of time in strip clubs crafting my conversation/interaction with the opposite sechs. In this environment I could converse with 10 different females in a short amount of time. Its a good way to learn what captivates a womans attention and what approaches work and don't work.

Never read any books or went to any boot camps. Just read the basics of what gets posted here. I was never into any canned openers. Just basic social skills. Its like being a good salesman trying to peddle some product. You need to talk good, be friendly, connect with your audience, be funny, calibrate, etc. You also need to be able to read people and learn to understand body language.

Improving my physique thru better eating and working out helped. Also white teeth, tanned body, jewelry, good clothes and shoes made a difference.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

at best, in a nutshell I guess it would be what skill level you are starting at

 

[PeasantPlayer]

I want to take women off the pedestal to, but how do you go about this mentally or physically when you talk to women? I have a problem with subconsciously putting the ***** on a pedestal because I am a thirsty sex addict sometimes lol

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Get rejected. A lot.

Serious.

The more bullshiat you experience with women, the more jaded you'll likely feel toward women.

The "yin" to the "yang."

And I believe it depends on how badly you want it

 

[Atom Smasher]

I was a total mess with women until my early 50s. I mean completely clueless.

So I would say it took about 5 years of being on this site. I found that all along there were women who were attracted to me but I didn't even know it.

I was completely baffled by women because I expected them to think like men and therefore had no way to understand their behavior. It's amazing how many men grow up in female-dominated households (a mother and 3 sisters, no brother and a largely absentee father) and still be utterly clueless about women.

Now I'm great with them and truly, to the core have an IDGAF attitude toward them. It's one thing to say you have that attitude, but to actually have it is very freeing. It becomes a LOT easier with age to NGAF. It's very hard when you're younger but as you age you realize your worries and concerns especially about what other people think were a waste of energy.

But then too, when you get older you in fact become much more confident and at ease socially, so it's easier to NGAF because you have some positive reference experiences behind you.

Time for my Geritol, if you'll excuse me...

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Taking the red pill is the greatest thing you can ever do

A lot of the stuff I did before finding this website happened to be a few of the basic principles of getting better.

Like everyone else said, you start working out be it by weightlifting, crossfit, or blue collar type work (maybe a combination of all 3!). Work on looks that way and get rid of acne if you have it. Get confidence and higher self esteem, which gives you the attitude of not caring and doing what you want. Be fun to talk to and even make up stories to tell just to be fun around. Better clothing. Be tough and don't let people walk all over you. I studied human behavior to become more manipulative and/or charismatic to get what I want and to lead people in general. Just to have a better social life. And I don't get oneitis nor do I pedestalize any woman. I choose whether or not to feel emotions for someone. If I feel it is a bad idea that I like a girl, then I just choose not to like her anymore. It's as simple as that.

I did all of that to just improve my life in general. Took me a year and a half to 2 years but I didn't have this website to tell me what to do. I just naturally did it (realizing that right there is a confidence booster for me too. You have a reason to be confident. You don't need a reason to be confident, but you have one anyway simply because it keeps you from falling back down).

I started looking at this website about 4 months ago though and almost everything I read was something I kinda already knew, but wasn't sure whether I should believe it or not. Since the revelations and tips, I became much better with women and people in general too because I basically just embraced everything I already knew. The greatest tip for me though would probably be everything body language related such as eye contact and smiling or the way you move. The greatest body language idea of all is that of kino though. I mean that is the magical wand of wonders. At least it was for me anyway. When you are charming/leading and have the C+F personality, kino is the finalizing step to get her to do whatever you want.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

I was a total mess with women until my early 50s. I mean completely clueless.

So I would say it took about 5 years of being on this site. I found that all along there were women who were attracted to me but I didn't even know it.

I was completely baffled by women because I expected them to think like men and therefore had no way to understand their behavior. It's amazing how many men grow up in female-dominated households (a mother and 3 sisters, no brother and a largely absentee father) and still be utterly clueless about women.

Now I'm great with them and truly, to the core have an IDGAF attitude toward them. It's one thing to say you have that attitude, but to actually have it is very freeing. It becomes a LOT easier with age to NGAF. It's very hard when you're younger but as you age you realize your worries and concerns especially about what other people think were a waste of energy.

But then too, when you get older you in fact become much more confident and at ease socially, so it's easier to NGAF because you have some positive reference experiences behind you.

Time for my Geritol, if you'll excuse me...

Ever since I no fapped....the attention from women is amazing. Plus a girl I use to go to school with was hitting on me. I never knew she even liked me at all until she revealed it to me and gave me her number and said we should hang out.

 

[Good Gao]

Almost 6 years and I am still growing. As an asian guy (Chinese) growing up in Vancouver, I was very limited in the choice of women I could date but now I am in an LTR with a girl I love.

What it took

1. hitting the gym
2. dressing right
3. getting comfortable talking to girls
4. traveling
5. permanently getting out of vancouver

Edit: Exceeded post count limit but know this about Vancouver.

1. Lots of Asian girls that are hungry for white ****
2. Very expensive
3. Women are not that much to brag about

I have visited Tampa Bay, great place to be in.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Yes exactly. I personally believe that those who want it badly enough will go through many rejections and flakings.

"Transformations happen through experience, through getting rejected, through getting success, but you'll never experience the transformation if you sit at your house, SO TAKE ACTION!!!!, it's worth it", a powerful quote I got from Johnny Berba

 

[thunder_god]

I also should have asked as well for stages and a timeline for when you saw improvements and progress for example month 1-2 : only got a few numbers, month 3-4 started getting dates, etc.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I also should have asked as well for stages and a timeline for when you saw improvements and progress for example month 1-2 : only got a few numbers, month 3-4 started getting dates, etc.

But no second dates?