"How could it have gone wrong??" - The Sh*t Test Everyone Fails

attraxion

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This thread is gold!

I'm pretty convinced I'm going through the active **** test right now, for the last three days she's been distant and even rude without reason, and I have (stupidly) been supplicating and needy.

Do you think three days is enough for her to lose all attraction? Or I can turn this around by totally breaking contact with her for a while?

Please read my thread at http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=173803 and let me know what to do! I realize I'm kinda one-itis'ed but I don't wanna give up on the game her until I'm sure it's not worth it.
 

attraxion

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This post is gold!

I'm pretty convinced I'm facing the active **** test right now, as she's been acting distant and rude for no reason after 2 great nights, and I've been (stupidly) supplicating and needy.

Do you think it's game over in three days? Or can I turn this around still? How? By a big freeze out? The thread needs more ideas to turn the thing around.
 

Blue Phoenix

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Confessions from a woman...

This is one of the best "get out of the matrix" posts! So, another contribution, I found this topic here:
http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2011/03/21/relationshipstrategies/why-we-sh!t-test/

*replace ! for i

Rollo Tomassi is mentioned there.

One of the latest sh!t tests I´ve been subjected to were:
"Will you buy that for me?"
"Will you do my homework for me?"

To which I replied: NO.
"I´ve heard you look like you´re not good in bed!"
To which I replied: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: and said "I think they want to try me uh???" ;)
"I´m a burden to you, perhaps I should go"
To which I replied: PERHAPS!
...
 

Echoes

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Only read the first page but this is great stuff...marking for later.
 

gaspipe

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Don Juanabbe said:
Just act as moody, unpredictable and illogical as they are and you'll be fine lads. Key word: Drama.
Ive been reading through this thread and I think this pretty much best summarizes it. Women whether they admitted or not like a little drama in their lives. Once things get predictable and follow a set pattern in the relationship, thats when they lose interest.
 

thomz_amadeus

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gaspipe said:
Ive been reading through this thread and I think this pretty much best summarizes it. Women whether they admitted or not like a little drama in their lives. Once things get predictable and follow a set pattern in the relationship, thats when they lose interest.
Who are you talking about? Girls? Yes, maybe.

Personally, I prefer women.

Women have little interest for drama. Like men - not boys - they're after quality.

Place your bets.
 
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What you say is stuff I've covered many times:

1. I call it CRUMBLING when a "player" reverts to AFC behavior once in the relationship. As one magazine said, "what do you do after you play hard-to-get? Play hard-to-keep!?" Very telling.

2. If a man with a PUA's level of options wants a WIFE, why would he NOT "crumble?" The idea was supposed to be to use "game" to get her to notice you, then be the "nice guy" like Neil said. If the woman is going to play games AFTER sex, she is NOT a keeper, so why bother trying to keep her? A true keeper (like "Le Club" from my book) would NEVER do this to a man, nor would most quality women. Women who do this after sex are in love with the game, not the player. Losing them is like losing a pile of garbage stinking up your kitchen.

If you want a NICE woman, don't "game" her from the get-go. The keeprs don't play games. If anything, "game" will often get you nine of ten women you don['t want, at the expense of the one you DO want. I even did an experiment with one of my PUA mentors once: we hit on the same ten women, who didn't know we knew each other. Eight wanted him, one wanted me, and one wanted neither. Who'd my teahcer want? The woman who wanted ME, as she was the hottest and nicest of the bunch, and LOVED my "AFC" persona. I mean she WAVED when I walked into her work, very blatantly.

Of course, my "wing" took advantage of my ignorance, and literally (tried to) trainwreck me, but it just goes to show that a strong AFC can wipe the mat with a strong PUA. AFCs also don't have to hunt for new women every month because they don't dumpster-dive.

Ray Gordon
Bettor Off Single: Why Commitment Is A Bad Gamble For Men
http://www.toosmarttofail.com/bos.pdf
FREE!
 

skop

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Does anyone have a real life example that incorporates the lesson of the OP?
 

Serg897

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This post effectively describes why I lost my last girl. This is not the first time this has happened. WHY do I keep making this mistake even though I have read this before?
 

typical

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Serg897 said:
This post effectively describes why I lost my last girl. This is not the first time this has happened. WHY do I keep making this mistake even though I have read this before?
Because you started to give a damn about her, when you first met it was her coming along for the ride with this cool sexy new guy. Now its the same guy being too needy clingy etc.

Stop giving a damn and suddenly they always wanna be around you.
 

Serg897

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It seems to be part of the harsh reality of life - in order to truly keep a woman you must not care too much about her. At least, this is part of that formula. You must be outcome independent about the whole thing, or at least mostly appear to be, because if you aren't she will sniff you out and kick you to the curb. Here is the story I mentioned earlier, I hope it helps some of you out - it also helps me to write it down in the hopes I never repeat it.

I spend the last 2 years of graduate school dating around, getting into short relationships, sleeping with various women I dont give a damn enough to invest too much in. Relationships terminate and both parties move on, often with me happily looking for the next piece of ass, even if sometimes it takes me a short time to come to grip with the fact that a particular girl is gone.

Then I meet a girl that completely blows me away. Sexy, beautiful, AMAZING in bed, confident and intelligent, and has a lot of things going for her. I become addicted to her very quickly. I start to fantasize about getting into an LTR. I cant wait to see her and everytime she calls for a date, I answer. Im very complimentary and touchy-feely and always trying to initiate sex. One time I am over at her house, and after sex she kicks me out telling me she has several things she needs to get done, and I act like a lovesick puppy (and I have to call one of my other plates for more sexual release and intimacy, even though it does me little good.)

All the while Im ignoring the little voice in my head telling me Im doing it wrong. Even after YEARS on this forum, I choose NOT to listen. I am having too much fun. The dopamine surge is too much, my infatuation is at a major peak, and I simply cannot control myself.

You can tell where this story ends. Quite suddenly, she simply disappears. No longer calls me. Answers my calls and texts, but politely declines further dates. I back off and hope she decides to come around - SHE DOESNT.

I am hit with wave after wave of despair, as I slowly start to figure out exactly what happened, and the mistakes I made that now seem plainly obvious. HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID!!!.

The lessons here are huge. Next time a woman like this comes around, hopefully I will know exactly how recognize the signs that I am spiraling out of control, and be able to control my actions.

Now though, the pain really sucks, and no other woman seems to measure up so far. I hate oneitis.
 

Juan Don

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thanks for bumping this thread. i haven't read it and the original poster hit home with all said. damn every word reflects my relationship with my ex
 

topcat2001

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Story of my life these past couple of years. I figured if I slept with a woman (and I got pretty good at that) that she wouldn't leave me so easily but in these days of easy sex that is not true. Once you start thinking I could see myself in a relationship with this girl then it quickly starts going downhill from there.

Serg897 said:
It seems to be part of the harsh reality of life - in order to truly keep a woman you must not care too much about her. At least, this is part of that formula. You must be outcome independent about the whole thing, or at least mostly appear to be, because if you aren't she will sniff you out and kick you to the curb. Here is the story I mentioned earlier, I hope it helps some of you out - it also helps me to write it down in the hopes I never repeat it.

I spend the last 2 years of graduate school dating around, getting into short relationships, sleeping with various women I dont give a damn enough to invest too much in. Relationships terminate and both parties move on, often with me happily looking for the next piece of ass, even if sometimes it takes me a short time to come to grip with the fact that a particular girl is gone.

Then I meet a girl that completely blows me away. Sexy, beautiful, AMAZING in bed, confident and intelligent, and has a lot of things going for her. I become addicted to her very quickly. I start to fantasize about getting into an LTR. I cant wait to see her and everytime she calls for a date, I answer. Im very complimentary and touchy-feely and always trying to initiate sex. One time I am over at her house, and after sex she kicks me out telling me she has several things she needs to get done, and I act like a lovesick puppy (and I have to call one of my other plates for more sexual release and intimacy, even though it does me little good.)

All the while Im ignoring the little voice in my head telling me Im doing it wrong. Even after YEARS on this forum, I choose NOT to listen. I am having too much fun. The dopamine surge is too much, my infatuation is at a major peak, and I simply cannot control myself.

You can tell where this story ends. Quite suddenly, she simply disappears. No longer calls me. Answers my calls and texts, but politely declines further dates. I back off and hope she decides to come around - SHE DOESNT.

I am hit with wave after wave of despair, as I slowly start to figure out exactly what happened, and the mistakes I made that now seem plainly obvious. HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID!!!.

The lessons here are huge. Next time a woman like this comes around, hopefully I will know exactly how recognize the signs that I am spiraling out of control, and be able to control my actions.

Now though, the pain really sucks, and no other woman seems to measure up so far. I hate oneitis.
 

topcat2001

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Btw the dopamine surge is very powerful once it takes a hold of you and you start missing obvious signals and warning signs. Its still a problem after years of DJ practice. Sometimes it seems might as well have been an AFC. As the villain says in the Matrix "I know this steak is not real but you know what I've realized after all these years? Ignorance is bliss" :)
 

Serg897

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topcat2001 said:
Story of my life these past couple of years. I figured if I slept with a woman (and I got pretty good at that) that she wouldn't leave me so easily but in these days of easy sex that is not true. Once you start thinking I could see myself in a relationship with this girl then it quickly starts going downhill from there.
Yep. Avoid this mentality at all costs. Set rules for yourself if you have to, such as only seeing her once a week and STICKING TO THEM.

Funny enough, this is what Anti-Dump already advocates in the DJ Bible. Don't hand the girl your heart prematurely. Make her wait. It is powerful stuff that will sort out the girls that will truly stick around and puts you in the right frame. And even if she does decide to leave, you should have the attitude that it DOES NOT MATTER. Any woman can be replaced, even if it takes a while.

The problem is, this dopamine surge is powerful. What Anti-Dumps machine requires is discipline. And that is what I have been lacking.
 

bob2007

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bible quality if there still is the Bible.
 

john1234

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thomz_amadeus said:
Who are you talking about? Girls? Yes, maybe.

Personally, I prefer women.

Women have little interest for drama. Like men - not boys - they're after quality.

Place your bets.
sorry to say this but you are a fool!

women are just as immature as girls, trust me. It was a big surprise when I discovered this. They can be imensly irressponsible and often have the harshest end game!
 
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