How can you tell if you are in the friends zone?

[sosuave213]

Versus if she actually wants to sleep with you

For example, would a girl that initiates a passionate make out session with you but withholds sex mean you're in the friend zone?

Asking for a friend.

 

[Tilex]

You're in the friend zone until you have sex. That's basically how it works.
Sex = an emotional investment from her.

You could do 10'000 things with a chick, but she'll still keep you in the friend zone until you two have sex.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Versus if she actually wants to sleep with you

For example, would a girl that initiates a passionate make out session with you but withholds sex mean you're in the friend zone?

Asking for a friend.

That's the Make You Wait zone. It's a grey area designed for her advantage and you can either be patient or smoothly escalate until she either complies or leaves.

 

[CornbreadFed]

If you have to question it, you are in a bad spot regardless of friendzone

 

[sosuave213]

If you have to question it, you are in a bad spot regardless of friendzone

I know I'll get in them guts, just wondering how long it's going to take.

 

[Robert28]

Versus if she actually wants to sleep with you

For example, would a girl that initiates a passionate make out session with you but withholds sex mean you're in the friend zone?

Asking for a friend.

That example means she’s an attention seeker and a tease. Most likely she’s already sleeping with a guy she likes or has a secret boyfriend she’s not telling you about because she doesn’t want you walking away. If she’s withholding sex but doing everything else, drop her now. It won’t get better. In fact it’ll gradually become less and less. The passionate make out will turn into quick pecks.

 

[sosuave213]

That example means she’s an attention seeker and a tease. Most likely she’s already sleeping with a guy she likes or has a secret boyfriend she’s not telling you about because she doesn’t want you walking away. If she’s withholding sex but doing everything else, drop her now. It won’t get better. In fact it’ll gradually become less and less. The passionate make out will turn into quick pecks.

Well, we have our fourth date on Tuesday. She reached out to me yesterday, so I made the date. Guess we'll have to see if it intensifies or if you're right.

If you're right I'll PayPal you $50.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Well, we have our fourth date on Tuesday. She reached out to me yesterday, so I made the date. Guess we'll have to see if it intensifies or if you're right.

If you're right I'll PayPal you $50.

OP that's a bit of a passive attitude. You need to actively "intensify" and not just see if things "happen"

 

[sosuave213]

OP that's a bit of a passive attitude. You need to actively "intensify" and not just see if things "happen"

Patience is a virtue brah.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Patience is a virtue brah.

You can be patient and still ramp up the sexual tension if you choose to

 

[SW15]

If she talks about other men around you, then you are in the friend zone.

For me, it's either a sexual relationship or GTFO! I have no female friends, though I have some female acquaintances.

 

[Gamisch]

Four dates is a slippery slope, unless she's really into you. But it's definitely NOT a good starting frame you're building . Frames you as the good good guy, and it's always unclear how they'll feel about that when the extreme high attraction fades..

Four dates is only justifiable when you are in a culture or country where that's the norm. Otherwise two dates ,perhaps 3 should be more than enough to seal the deal.

 

[IKO69]

Four dates is a slippery slope, unless she's really into you. But it's definitely NOT a good starting frame you're building . Frames you as the good good guy, and it's always unclear how they'll feel about that when the extreme high attraction fades..

Four dates is only justifiable when you are in a culture or country where that's the norm. Otherwise two dates ,perhaps 3 should be more than enough to seal the deal.

I would agree with this. I have a rule if I don't smash by third date I forget about it and move on. I met a woman three weeks ago at a rock climbing gym here called edge. She was with a group, some work event. We just ended up talking and I found her cute enough so I asked for her number. We went out for drinks just a few days later, nothing serious. I then invited her last week to an improv event, I like to go to them regularly and I always have a good time and laugh my ass off. We got tapas after and things were progressing nicely so I invited her to my place after.

Making the guy wait for weeks and months on end is nothing short of a manipulation tactic.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Well, we have our fourth date on Tuesday. She reached out to me yesterday, so I made the date. Guess we'll have to see if it intensifies or if you're right.

If you're right I'll PayPal you $50.

there’s a reason you haven’t smashed yet. Even if you do turn water in to wine, she will always see you as second choice.

 

[devilkingx2]

Versus if she actually wants to sleep with you

For example, would a girl that initiates a passionate make out session with you but withholds sex mean you're in the friend zone?

Asking for a friend.

You're probably not in the friendzone if you're getting passionate makeouts. The friendzone means zero sexual contact.

However if she's withholding sex you should not be spending a lot of money or committing to her.

 

[TheEveningChronograph]

Just tell her to show you the monkey and if she backpedals and tells you some weak sh1t...leave. Ain't nobody got time for that weak sh1t.

 

[sosuave213]

She's not from America, she's from Eastern Europe...might have something to do with her more conservative demeanor.

Like I always thought I wanted to date a conservative chick. I thought that meant just voting for Trump. Well this chick is conservative as heck. She's smart too, understands a lot, etc.

Things are progressing however. Every date has been more sexual than the last. I almost got to 2nd base last time (my face was in her bosom) and she wrapped her legs around me, so...probably not friends zone.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

She's not from America, she's from Eastern Europe...might have something to do with her more conservative demeanor.

Like I always thought I wanted to date a conservative chick. I thought that meant just voting for Trump. Well this chick is conservative as heck. She's smart too, understands a lot, etc.

Things are progressing however. Every date has been more sexual than the last. I almost got to 2nd base last time (my face was in her bosom) and she wrapped her legs around me, so...probably not friends zone.

Is she a Polish Catholic chick?

 

[CornbreadFed]

Funny most of these topics pertain to Eastern European women. Y’all on 90 day fiancé or something?

 

[Doctor Europeo]

At the end of the day, only you can decide how much time you are willing to wait for sex before you prefer to move on. Three dates? 10 dates? 6 months? 1.9 years? I consider myself patient, If I was single I would give them 10 dates as the limit.