(Diminish feelings for a girl you love)
I have spent quite some time learning the "DJ Bible" and playing in the field with women. I don't have big problems getting girls to go out with me. It seems that every girl I date, I end up dating long term. I will meet a beautiful girl, my type. We will date for months, mostly a minimum of 6 months. I always start to get feelings for the women and the relationship never gets serious. It's always a once a week thing for 6-12 months.
I have heard about "oneitus" and I think I tend to have this disease when dating a new girl after 3 months. I don't consider myself to be an "AFC" either. I think the general point I am making here is that I fall in love with every girl I date. I think about them often and I tend to get dissapointed if they do not return my calls sooner, or are not available when I want them. I get anxiety about the whole situation.
My goal is to become a guy who does not fall into love so easily. I talk to many of my friends and they all seem to want to have it both ways, for instance they want a girlfriend to romance, and they want a girl to hook up with and have fun with. I am not really like that. I would prefer to have a girlfriend that can make love with me and be there for me, and respect me. I think a lot of men want respect from women. Women are very self involved and do not seem to understand what respect means to men.
One of my problems to be totally honest is that I work long hours, and have a small circle of friends. I am focused on my career and seek romance to relieve the daily stresses of life in the big city.
Many of the women who I have had relationships with seem to be what they call on this post "AW's". I wouldn't go to the extreme by saying a *****, because females all seem to love attention.
My current girlfriend enjoys going to loud trendy night clubs on a weekly basis. I always imagine guys are hitting on her and she flirts with them all night. But she gets a thrill out of it because she lives a very boring 9-5 work week.
Is there a way to break out of this shell of this whole "love and romance" mind-set? Could it be that I am not meeting enough women?
I know many guys out there would love to be in an honest equally rewarding relationship, but it seems like a dream which never occurs in reality.
One of my fears is giving my love and trust to a woman because I think that she will break my heart. It has happened to me twice and the pain last a long time. I do not have a problem with commitement either.
When I was 18 I was in a serious relationship with a 20 year old woman, she wanted to marry me and was madly in love. I dumped her because she seemed to clingy. It was strangely a turn off that she would call me and e-mail me on a daily basis.
Now I find myself calling my girlfriend and pursuing her even after nearly a year of dating.
I know she senses I am just with her and the excitiment has died down.
My initial trick with holding on to women is simple, I don't call them much the first 3-4 months of dating. They wonder what I am doing. It excited them. But when I release my emotional feelings for them after about 5 months or so they seem to become more care-free and casual with the relationship. I do not get heavy saying I love you or calling them, but I have heard women can feel you, sense you, when she lays her head on my chest she feels my heart beat fast and says "I think you really like me". It's like clock work.
How can one person develop a lasting relationship if they do not reveal love for that person?
Do I have to continually play games for years with these women?
How in reality, can I turn my heart to stone, to prevent it from being broken by hopes of being with the girl I am in love with? How do we become "cold blooded" DJ's, and put ourselves first in the dating game without becoming vulnerable?
I have spent quite some time learning the "DJ Bible" and playing in the field with women. I don't have big problems getting girls to go out with me. It seems that every girl I date, I end up dating long term. I will meet a beautiful girl, my type. We will date for months, mostly a minimum of 6 months. I always start to get feelings for the women and the relationship never gets serious. It's always a once a week thing for 6-12 months.
I have heard about "oneitus" and I think I tend to have this disease when dating a new girl after 3 months. I don't consider myself to be an "AFC" either. I think the general point I am making here is that I fall in love with every girl I date. I think about them often and I tend to get dissapointed if they do not return my calls sooner, or are not available when I want them. I get anxiety about the whole situation.
My goal is to become a guy who does not fall into love so easily. I talk to many of my friends and they all seem to want to have it both ways, for instance they want a girlfriend to romance, and they want a girl to hook up with and have fun with. I am not really like that. I would prefer to have a girlfriend that can make love with me and be there for me, and respect me. I think a lot of men want respect from women. Women are very self involved and do not seem to understand what respect means to men.
One of my problems to be totally honest is that I work long hours, and have a small circle of friends. I am focused on my career and seek romance to relieve the daily stresses of life in the big city.
Many of the women who I have had relationships with seem to be what they call on this post "AW's". I wouldn't go to the extreme by saying a *****, because females all seem to love attention.
My current girlfriend enjoys going to loud trendy night clubs on a weekly basis. I always imagine guys are hitting on her and she flirts with them all night. But she gets a thrill out of it because she lives a very boring 9-5 work week.
Is there a way to break out of this shell of this whole "love and romance" mind-set? Could it be that I am not meeting enough women?
I know many guys out there would love to be in an honest equally rewarding relationship, but it seems like a dream which never occurs in reality.
One of my fears is giving my love and trust to a woman because I think that she will break my heart. It has happened to me twice and the pain last a long time. I do not have a problem with commitement either.
When I was 18 I was in a serious relationship with a 20 year old woman, she wanted to marry me and was madly in love. I dumped her because she seemed to clingy. It was strangely a turn off that she would call me and e-mail me on a daily basis.
Now I find myself calling my girlfriend and pursuing her even after nearly a year of dating.
I know she senses I am just with her and the excitiment has died down.
My initial trick with holding on to women is simple, I don't call them much the first 3-4 months of dating. They wonder what I am doing. It excited them. But when I release my emotional feelings for them after about 5 months or so they seem to become more care-free and casual with the relationship. I do not get heavy saying I love you or calling them, but I have heard women can feel you, sense you, when she lays her head on my chest she feels my heart beat fast and says "I think you really like me". It's like clock work.
How can one person develop a lasting relationship if they do not reveal love for that person?
Do I have to continually play games for years with these women?
How in reality, can I turn my heart to stone, to prevent it from being broken by hopes of being with the girl I am in love with? How do we become "cold blooded" DJ's, and put ourselves first in the dating game without becoming vulnerable?
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