How can I be more subtle?

[mynameisntNigel]

I usually post on the High School forum, but I think I'm done making new threads there. I'm 17 and prac an adult.

So here we go. This school year I got to know someone really well. We knew who we were before, just not well. She's just turned 16 I would guess, she's a sophomore and I'm a junior. We take AP History and Typing together. She's mature, beautiful and sweet and kind of a klutz (in a funny way of course)and she enjoys my humor too. But this time, it feels different. Every time I've talked to (most) girls then it feels like they didn't respect me - we'd be happy for a while, and it would seem like she liked me. But then it turns out she said she wanted friendship, and it ended badly with her either scared of me or angry. But this girl respects me. Few people do I feel that genuinely from! She enjoys my company and I enjoy hers, and we talk after school while we wait for my slowpoke little brother to come so he and I can go home

So what have I accomplished so far? Well, this time, I decided to dust off an old article I instapapered last year but never payed too much attention too: How to Flirt With A Girl the Friend Way., from Lovepanky.com. It shares some points that I practiced thus far, and I think it's working so far. For her birthday earlier this month, I made her a mix CD. I didn't straight-out put dirty music on it, but I did choose some based on how I feel about her. On Monday (of last week) She loved it! I did give her my TextNow number (I don't have a phone, but that's a story for another time) and she said she tried to text me but it didn't send. But it turns out, she tried to send me an iMessage, not a text, so that's why it didn't send. I told her to try her phone not her iPad; she has a crappy phone with a qwerty. "I hate texting on this thing" she said. I told her I would fix my Apple ID so she could message me and I think I did. So she sent me a real text saying who she was. Got her number!
So come Friday, she gave me a Christmas gift. She told me that she was leaving early, and she was nervous when she gave it to me. I opened it on Monday night, and it was a bag Lindor white chocolate truffles, which I had told her I liked. With the gift she had a small little card, and I opened it and she said "Hey, *Name*! Thanks for being such a great friend and laughing at my jokes and stupidity!" It was short.

Such a great friend? I asked myself. In person, you can tell she's obviously somewhat attracted to me as more than a friend. So I just figured that she didn't mean it that way that I was only a friend.

So I had texted her Sunday and she didn't respond, and on Tuesday night I sent her a message that I learned from a video recently. I said "I know you're probably too busy harpooning killer whales in Lake Michigan to read this, but last night I opened your gift of white-chocolatey goodness. 8 one today " The video said something like this guaranteed an instant response.

I got a response all right, but it came at 10 AM the next morning. But the unusual thing was that it seemed cold. "You know, despite the fact that I used my phone every single day after school to call my mom, that is the limit of my use of it. I'm glad you liked the gift." So I told her thanks for letting me know and to imessage me. (IF I had a phone of that kind I probably wouldn't like it either) And that's it. I didn't bother her about anything. But she hasn't messaged me.

Fact is, I'm *CERTAIN* I didn't do anything to make her mad. she wasn't mad at me in person at school. Now, I'm outta town until the new year. So I wonder if her mom made her send me that... (do you guys think so?) maybe I'm stressing just a little too much.

So next, I'm going to ask her out when we get back to school. And even if she rejects me the first time, I'm 98% certain I can land her, but I gotta sharpen my sword just a little more. She's comfortable with me and things are looking up. I know from a little digging around that she wants a relationship too. Back to the Article I mentioned above, I think I'm pretty solid on everything but just want some good examples on how to 6. Play with dirty conversations, 7. Get touchy feely and 8. Ask her out often, and 10. let her see you as dating potential. (Read the article, okay?) Number 7 is useable, but the fact is our school says that guys and girls can't touch each other. But we're pretty alone after school, so I can do it. Remember, I'm tryingto be subtle and make her more attracted to me!

I did learn one thing for certain: Lovepanky > Sosuave.com

 

[Glumix]

Boy, you are her friend now. Reading your stuff here, you don't get it at all. You fell in the kingdom of boringness, of lovepankiness (Lovepanky?! You said you had some humor. That's humor, right?).

Stop trying to make her more attracted to you. That's not the way.

You are still young so plenty of time to start reading de DJ Bible.

(lovepanky... ahah!)

 

[dustmuffin]

You are coming across as needy. I myself have this problem from time to time. Read the DJ bible. You seem to be in the friend zone and that is where you will probably stay. You are being nice. Don't be nice.You don't care if you make her mad. If she was interested in you she would be texting. If I were you I would back off and pursue other women. She is either attracted to you or not.

Women are strange anyway. You can screw them one day and they won't talk to you the next. The hamster got busy and she came up with a reason to ignore you. Just move along. Find women that are interested in you and put effort into them.

 

[RangerMIke]

Such a great friend? I asked myself. In person, you can tell she's obviously somewhat attracted to me as more than a friend. So I just figured that she didn't mean it that way that I was only a friend.

Always pay attention to what a girl/woman does and not what she says... if her actions indicate high interest than don't worry about what she says.

So I had texted her Sunday and she didn't respond, and on Tuesday night I sent her a message that I learned from a video recently. I said "I know you're probably too busy harpooning killer whales in Lake Michigan to read this, but last night I opened your gift of white-chocolatey goodness. 8 one today " The video said something like this guaranteed an instant response.

She told you she didn't like texting... you should have called her in person to thank her. But young people are different I suppose, I'm seeing a 24 yo now and she is driving me nuts with all the texting BS. Bottom line is that you are being WAY to cutesy... women do not like their men cutesy... they want masculine behavior. Just get to the point... thank her.

I got a response all right, but it came at 10 AM the next morning. But the unusual thing was that it seemed cold. "You know, despite the fact that I used my phone every single day after school to call my mom, that is the limit of my use of it. I'm glad you liked the gift."

Predictable. But don't worry abut it. Truth is she is making excuses for not reaching back to you immediately her reasons are not relevant, the fact that she did not respond right away tells you that her interest level is not as high as you think.

Fact is, I'm *CERTAIN* I didn't do anything to make her mad. she wasn't mad at me in person at school. Now, I'm outta town until the new year. So I wonder if her mom made her send me that... (do you guys think so?) maybe I'm stressing just a little too much.

It's not black and white, it's not that she 'likes' you or she 'hates' you, its a continuum between love and disinterest. They move back and forth along this line as their emotions dictate. Women/girls are run by their emotions... one day they might be totally into you and the next... well you don't exist. GET USED TO IT, this is the way females are, you are not going to change them. Don't over think it and don't over react to it, just keep being your self, act like a man and she will come around if she likes you... otherwise, just walk away and focus on the other girls you are interested in.

Never make excuses or TRY to figure out what their behavior means... there is ONLY ONE MEANING, she ether has high interest or low interest, that is all. Your ego is talking to you... judge women/girls by their actions. If a woman/girl has high interest she wouldn't let something like her mom's cell phone restriction to keep you from sending off a quick acknowledgement.

So next, I'm going to ask her out when we get back to school. And even if she rejects me the first time, I'm 98% certain I can land her, but I gotta sharpen my sword just a little more. She's comfortable with me and things are looking up. I know from a little digging around that she wants a relationship too.

Why wait... do it now. Get on the phone and ask her out. This is what a man would do, there is no reason to wait, besides if she says no, then it only means you can move on and spend you time focusing on other girls. If she says yes, well her interest level is high enough to work with. One more thing DON'T WORRY ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS that is the realm of females... she gets to decide if you wants you exclusively... there is NOTHING you can do to make this happen except to continue being a man... it puts you in a BAD frame if you are thinking of trying to lock down some girl in a relationship.

 

[marmel75]

You obviously haven't learned much at love hanky(hanky---for you to cry into when you do this lame stuff and she rejects you), try learning something here.

Once again, as I posted in another thread, the answer is stop playing grab ass with her, be a man and ask her out.

 

[RangerMIke]

Your beloved 'lovepanky' is getting you friendzoned. Hell, you're scared that you might have made her mad! You just don't get it at all. She sounds indifferent - mad would be a upgrade from where you currently are.

THIS! Anger is an emotion, women love to feel. You can work with anger because this is an indication she cares at some level about you. Indifference means you're not even a blip.

 

[mynameisntNigel]

Always pay attention to what a girl/woman does and not what she says... if her actions indicate high interest than don't worry about what she says.
Never make excuses or TRY to figure out what their behavior means... there is ONLY ONE MEANING, she ether has high interest or low interest, that is all. Your ego is talking to you... judge women/girls by their actions. If a woman/girl has high interest she wouldn't let something like her mom's cell phone restriction to keep you from sending off a quick acknowledgement.

I know the part about "trying to figure out." I got that down before I wrote this.

Why wait... do it now. Get on the phone and ask her out. .

I'm outta town. I will ask her in person because that's how girls prefer to be asked out.

 

[mynameisntNigel]

You are coming across as needy. I myself have this problem from time to time. Read the DJ bible. You seem to be in the friend zone and that is where you will probably stay. You are being nice. Don't be nice.

I guess I didn't make it clear... I'm not quite a great buddy with her. I don't always talk to her or bring her stuff or do her favors. I know what you're saying, and I'm being flirtatious and whatnot with her.

Now as for the friend zone part, I won't "probably stay" there - not permanently. I made the decision that I am going to land her and that's that. She's obviously somewhat attracted to me and that's all I need to build more from that

 

[dustmuffin]

I guess I didn't make it clear... I'm not quite a great buddy with her. I don't always talk to her or bring her stuff or do her favors. I know what you're saying, and I'm being flirtatious and whatnot with her.

Now as for the friend zone part, I won't "probably stay" there - not permanently. I made the decision that I am going to land her and that's that. She's obviously somewhat attracted to me and that's all I need to build more from that

Good luck with the landing. Do a search for threads for getting out of the friend zone. Better yet just ask her out

 

[mynameisntNigel]

THIS! Anger is an emotion, women love to feel. You can work with anger because this is an indication she cares at some level about you. Indifference means you're not even a blip.

Your beloved 'lovepanky' is getting you friendzoned. Hell, you're scared that you might have made her mad! You just don't get it at all. She sounds indifferent - mad would be a upgrade from where you currently are.

I amused you ...God help us.

Let's clear this up: you can't just be a **** either, to her. I'm not "nice" but I'm not going to be a jerk either.

And let me clear up that I was talking about sosuave.com, not sosuave.net. The forums here seem to be okay. I'm talkin bout the site with the articles.

 

[mynameisntNigel]

Better yet just ask her out

I said in the very first post that I would. Of course I am. I eventually ask the girl out every time. I just haven't ever gotten one date.

In another post I mentioned how I asked a freshman girl out earlier this year, and she didn't accept. I stopped talking to her all that much because I wasn't that interested, but she acted awkward anyway. I didn't try to figure her out, but I didn't get the date either.

This time I will. Hope and chance are out of style, It's time to seize my destiny.

 

[parkthebus]

I think you've bored her mate. You need to make your move while her interest level is at its peak or before then. Sounds like she reached her peak and is currently descending. I think you've bred too much familiarity with her. Pull back for a couple weeks, work on other girls even if its only tinder or something and then move back in once she's more interested in speaking to you.

 

[parkthebus]

That's true @deesade . If you meet her accidentally and get an insta date it would get her excited and the attraction would be back on track. Right now @mynameisntNigel , shes expecting you to contact her. She knows you're interested and so there's no game there for her anymore. It's called game because attraction is a game of cat and mouse. I agree with Dees, you need to do something outside of the box to generate her interest in you.

 

[RangerMIke]

I know the part about "trying to figure out." I got that down before I wrote this.

I'm outta town. I will ask her in person because that's how girls prefer to be asked out.

Nope.... you are making excuses. Pick up the phone... dial her number and ask out for when you are back in town.

We are trying to help you. You have to know where you stand and the only way to know for sure is if you make a move. If she says anything but yes or make ls a counter offer then flush her number and go after other girls.

 

[Skyline]

PHM said something some time ago about getting with women without actually going on dates, and I'm experimenting with it now and I think he's right.

He basically said that he 'hangs out' with them, rather than a full blown date, until he gradually gets in their pants by following DJ rules. He goes the social circle route whether he's creating a new one or adding her or being added by her.

I was caught off guard by that advice that he gave but it kind of makes sense once I applied it these passed two months. Most relationships start within a social circle. Social circle interactions are CASUAL hang outs, however that doesn't stop you from being smooth or initiating kino or other forms of attraction.

As long as you maintain your frame and follow attraction traits, you can get a girl falling for you even though she would call you her 'friend.' I'm talking to a few girls right now and have hung out with most of them in a multi group setting, 1 guy(me) and 2+ girls is a pretty great feeling to be honest. On top of that, I know there is some attraction going on.

As long as you escalate, flirt, and keep your frame then you are fine. I wouldn't ask her out on a date but I would ask her to hang out and if you have built any sort of attraction beforehand then escalating physically should "just happen."