jnMissouri
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2014
- Messages
- 793
- Reaction score
- 321
A little bit of background:
-She is a colleague in the same company, different department.
-She got my number from her female friend who I'm friends with at work. She has displayed SUPER high interest, even the people at the office have noticed and commented.
-Anytime I've backed off when she played hard to get, she would user our mutual female friend or food to come talk to me. Basically her friend would start a conversation, then she would come join, and her friend would leave the conversation within a minute or two. Or she would bring baked goods to me to have an excuse to talk to me, it was super obvious, even my coworkers and boss commented on it.
-I was busy dating other women so I took a few days to respond to her texts sometimes. She started mirroring me. If I texted her 3-4 days later citing that I had been busy, she'd respond that she had been busy too. We'd be talking about hanging out, and she would agree to hang out and I would drop off (BasedZeus and many other gurus, leave her wondering a bit, it works, girls do it to us all the time, I think she is gaming me now), text her some time later citing how busy I was (legitimately) and she would respond back that she has been busy too, and kind of play hard to get/back off just a bit almost as if she was taking two steps forward and one step back like so many of the gurus teach. She has game IMO. I think about her more than all the other girls I'm dating combined...
-For example, I invited her to happy hour, just the two of us. She was like, I'd let you know. A week went buy, then the day I had suggested she would text me at close of business and ask me if I was going to happy hour. I told her I had already left for the day, and she was like, oh yeah, I she already left for the day too, citing how she was so tired (yet she had texted me asking if I was still going to happy hour on the day I had suggested and that she had told me she would let me know about....a week later she texts me at happy hour time the day of, and claimed that she had already gone home too AFTER texting me to see if I was going or not and learning that I had already left for the day...lol. Totally mirroring me.
-So basically after this push and pull movement we hung out, it took a couple tries. She texted me minutes after the date citing how she had fun, etc. I suggested she cook us dinner, as a next date, that I'd bring a bottle of wine, etc. She agreed. Once again I dropped off in conversation so as not to text her too much. This was four days ago.
-So I text her today. Ask her if she has anything good to eat for our dinner, she says not yet.
-I tease her about what I'm going to do with her since she hasn't come up with anything yet, etc.
-She tells me (English is not her first language) that she has been very busy lately and that she is starting to exercise and take English classes, that's why she hasn't.
-AGAIN, let me emphasize that she has to date, always given me enough to keep me into her, then she will back off a little bit when I move on her; she will take two steps forward, one step back. I do the same with her. She is mirroring me actually. If I text her that I haven't responded in a few days because I've been busy, she will respond that she has been busy too. But she has to date always given me some kind of gesture (coming to talk to me, bringing me food, having her friend start a conversation with me that she then joins and her friend walks away from almost a minute into, etc.) to keep me engaging her when I don't contact her for a while. If she senses that I'm losing interest, she will give come forward a bit, then agree to cook us dinner, etc. and then back off a little bit when I engage her again. But so far it has ALWAYS moved forward.
tl;dr
She gives me enough to keep after her. Moves things forward and just when she thinks that I think I have her, she will add some doubt. When she thinks she's added too much doubt and I stop talking to her, she easily schedules a date, telling me she is busy x days but free y day when she engages me again and I ask her out.
It has become a predictable pattern from setting up dates to during and after dates. Two steps forward, one back to keep me guessing. I fully expected her to put an obstacle in the way when setting up the second date despite the fact she agreed to cook me dinner after our first date ended. She always does this. It's a constant ebb and flow.
Possible responses to her text about why she hasn't come up with a menu yet because she is very busy exercising and taking English classes:
A) I can help her get some exercise and I can teach her English if she teaches me her language, etc. and setting up a date and time (I like it because it's ****y/funny/flirty and keeps me engaged rather than pouting and complaining).
B) I tell her that I'm actually pretty busy too and maybe we should just be friends, at least for now... (this is me walking away from her a bit). I don't think this has a high probability of success. I think she will just feel rejected completely by this.
C) Some combination of the above... Part A first then the addition of "but hey, maybe we should just be friends for now..." This kind of sends a mixed signal and keeps her guessing. In one breath I'm giving her an excuse to hang out in a flirty way, but in another I give the option of just being friends....
D) I tease her about how it's too early to play hard to get.
E) I wait for a while and see if she re-engages me.
Or? I'm open to suggestions....
-She is a colleague in the same company, different department.
-She got my number from her female friend who I'm friends with at work. She has displayed SUPER high interest, even the people at the office have noticed and commented.
-Anytime I've backed off when she played hard to get, she would user our mutual female friend or food to come talk to me. Basically her friend would start a conversation, then she would come join, and her friend would leave the conversation within a minute or two. Or she would bring baked goods to me to have an excuse to talk to me, it was super obvious, even my coworkers and boss commented on it.
-I was busy dating other women so I took a few days to respond to her texts sometimes. She started mirroring me. If I texted her 3-4 days later citing that I had been busy, she'd respond that she had been busy too. We'd be talking about hanging out, and she would agree to hang out and I would drop off (BasedZeus and many other gurus, leave her wondering a bit, it works, girls do it to us all the time, I think she is gaming me now), text her some time later citing how busy I was (legitimately) and she would respond back that she has been busy too, and kind of play hard to get/back off just a bit almost as if she was taking two steps forward and one step back like so many of the gurus teach. She has game IMO. I think about her more than all the other girls I'm dating combined...
-For example, I invited her to happy hour, just the two of us. She was like, I'd let you know. A week went buy, then the day I had suggested she would text me at close of business and ask me if I was going to happy hour. I told her I had already left for the day, and she was like, oh yeah, I she already left for the day too, citing how she was so tired (yet she had texted me asking if I was still going to happy hour on the day I had suggested and that she had told me she would let me know about....a week later she texts me at happy hour time the day of, and claimed that she had already gone home too AFTER texting me to see if I was going or not and learning that I had already left for the day...lol. Totally mirroring me.
-So basically after this push and pull movement we hung out, it took a couple tries. She texted me minutes after the date citing how she had fun, etc. I suggested she cook us dinner, as a next date, that I'd bring a bottle of wine, etc. She agreed. Once again I dropped off in conversation so as not to text her too much. This was four days ago.
-So I text her today. Ask her if she has anything good to eat for our dinner, she says not yet.
-I tease her about what I'm going to do with her since she hasn't come up with anything yet, etc.
-She tells me (English is not her first language) that she has been very busy lately and that she is starting to exercise and take English classes, that's why she hasn't.
-AGAIN, let me emphasize that she has to date, always given me enough to keep me into her, then she will back off a little bit when I move on her; she will take two steps forward, one step back. I do the same with her. She is mirroring me actually. If I text her that I haven't responded in a few days because I've been busy, she will respond that she has been busy too. But she has to date always given me some kind of gesture (coming to talk to me, bringing me food, having her friend start a conversation with me that she then joins and her friend walks away from almost a minute into, etc.) to keep me engaging her when I don't contact her for a while. If she senses that I'm losing interest, she will give come forward a bit, then agree to cook us dinner, etc. and then back off a little bit when I engage her again. But so far it has ALWAYS moved forward.
tl;dr
She gives me enough to keep after her. Moves things forward and just when she thinks that I think I have her, she will add some doubt. When she thinks she's added too much doubt and I stop talking to her, she easily schedules a date, telling me she is busy x days but free y day when she engages me again and I ask her out.
It has become a predictable pattern from setting up dates to during and after dates. Two steps forward, one back to keep me guessing. I fully expected her to put an obstacle in the way when setting up the second date despite the fact she agreed to cook me dinner after our first date ended. She always does this. It's a constant ebb and flow.
Possible responses to her text about why she hasn't come up with a menu yet because she is very busy exercising and taking English classes:
A) I can help her get some exercise and I can teach her English if she teaches me her language, etc. and setting up a date and time (I like it because it's ****y/funny/flirty and keeps me engaged rather than pouting and complaining).
B) I tell her that I'm actually pretty busy too and maybe we should just be friends, at least for now... (this is me walking away from her a bit). I don't think this has a high probability of success. I think she will just feel rejected completely by this.
C) Some combination of the above... Part A first then the addition of "but hey, maybe we should just be friends for now..." This kind of sends a mixed signal and keeps her guessing. In one breath I'm giving her an excuse to hang out in a flirty way, but in another I give the option of just being friends....
D) I tease her about how it's too early to play hard to get.
E) I wait for a while and see if she re-engages me.
Or? I'm open to suggestions....
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