"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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How and what should i reply to this message

oneboy21

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I Kept my profession as IT in POF, since i work in IT
some girl sent me a message out of the blue, couple of days ago i remembered i saw her profile on POF, may be she looked into who viewed me

Here is the message: "what type of IT? I work for an.IT consulting company that works for the federal government and we are always looking for good talent. "
What should i reply guys.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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kenpiffyjr

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First things first. There is a 95% chance she's into you. If you were some fat slob on there with acne with your profession saying IT, there's 1% chance she would message him. She's using her job as a tool to message you so she doesn't look needy. So get your swag right with that. She wants you.

Next...if you reply, like anything online dating...she knows you're interested. So you do not have to compliment with a message back. You don't have to give her value. You gave her value by just replying.

So be honest. Treat the chick like a regular person you're answering. Keep it to the point and tell her what she asks. When she replies back, then that's when you can do a small flirt.

The plan is to keep her value as low as it was when she messaged you. goodluck.
 

Chickfight

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"That's great, but what I'm really more interested in is if your pvssy is looking for looking for good talent ;)"

Haha I dunno man, it sounds like she's coming on to you in her own geeky way? Just tell her what kind of IT you work in and say you should meet up and talk about it over drinks. If you ask girl to do anything with you "over drinks", she automatically will know what's up.
 

GhostWriter

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I'd respond with...

"Oh yea? What type of good talent are you looking for? I have many ;)."

Then I'd start steering the conversation into something sexual.
 

Iceberg

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GhostWriter said:
I'd respond with...

"Oh yea? What type of good talent are you looking for? I have many ;)."

Then I'd start steering the conversation into something sexual.
Maybe it's just my style, but I'd advise AGAINST that. With internet, you're trying to get the girl to MEET you. Once she's met you, you can proceed to trying to get the sex.

If it's at a bar or a club, where you've already established that you're a cool, socially-adapted guy, you can make the sexual innuendo jokes. These dating sites are full of weird, weird people. You gotta establish that you're not one of them.

Anyway, I don't think this girl is seriously trying to hire someone through POF. It was just her opening like....a terrible one....but it's her attempt at reaching out (I guess even the girls in IT are bad at pick-ups).

Just make some joke about "I'm not sure you can afford me." or "You're ready to hire me already? Guess I write a hell of a profile."
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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oneboy21

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my reply to her message.
ME: You're ready to hire me already? Guess I wrote a hell of a profile. I work with CTI.
Do you know what CTI is?.
Her: what's CTI? we are always looking software engineers.

any suggestion guys
 

Ease

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'So do your company always look for employees on internet dating sites? I'm always looking for a girl with [whatever trait you think of, one that she mentions on her profile]. Can you help me out?
 

Iceberg

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oneboy21 said:
my reply to her message.
ME: You're ready to hire me already? Guess I wrote a hell of a profile. I work with CTI.
Do you know what CTI is?.
Her: what's CTI? we are always looking software engineers.

any suggestion guys
Well, ideally you would have followed up your "Ready to hire me already" joke with a question about her social life. You want to steer this conversation away from work a quickly as possible. This girl is terrible at flirting, by the way. Simply awful. So you're gonna have to lead.

"CTI is blah blah blah. When we're not working crazy late, we're out at happy hour, or basketball, or more happy hours. It's a fun group. We were just at (some bar) the other day? You ever been there? What do you do for fun around these parts?"

Then, if she's normal, she responds with what she does for fun.

THEN you respond with "Blah blah. That sounds awesome. We should meet up for happy hour. I think you'd love (some bar). What's your number?"

I mean, add some of your personality to these responses. Don't just do the two sentence response "Do you know what CTI is?" That's just gonna lead to a boring response from the chick (which is what you ended up with).

You're trying to convey yourself as a fun social person. If you have a dog, end your message with "My dog's begging for attention. Gotta go for a walk." Anything that builds an image in her head of you being someone fun to chill with.
 

cordoncordon

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Iceberg said:
Well, ideally you would have followed up your "Ready to hire me already" joke with a question about her social life. You want to steer this conversation away from work a quickly as possible. This girl is terrible at flirting, by the way. Simply awful. So you're gonna have to lead.

"CTI is blah blah blah. When we're not working crazy late, we're out at happy hour, or basketball, or more happy hours. It's a fun group. We were just at (some bar) the other day? You ever been there? What do you do for fun around these parts?"

Then, if she's normal, she responds with what she does for fun.

THEN you respond with "Blah blah. That sounds awesome. We should meet up for happy hour. I think you'd love (some bar). What's your number?"

I mean, add some of your personality to these responses. Don't just do the two sentence response "Do you know what CTI is?" That's just gonna lead to a boring response from the chick (which is what you ended up with).

You're trying to convey yourself as a fun social person. If you have a dog, end your message with "My dog's begging for attention. Gotta go for a walk." Anything that builds an image in her head of you being someone fun to chill with.
Spot on advice....Ice.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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oneboy21

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After taking suggestion from ICRburg i sent here this message

ME: CTI is blah blah blah... computer telephony. When we're not working crazy late, we're out at happy hour, or basketball, or more happy hours. It's a fun group. We were just at BWW the other day? You ever been there? What do you do for fun around these parts?

she responds after two days, (BWW is buffalo wild wings)
Her: What is BWW

Now tell me Guys whats next for me, I need to pull this girl, she is really cute
 

oneboy21

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Your answer makes sense to me
Should i just leave her or learn any game in gaming this chick
I can walk away and ignore this chick no problem
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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Buffalo Wild Wings. You've never been there before? Maybe I should take you sometime soon. You will enjoy it
. . .
 

kenpiffyjr

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erased my message telling you to walk away. That would be premature.... You can still polish this out. but beware, this chick is either fighting to have higher value than you by acting like you don't make sense/not answering your questions/writing less or is just really not that into you. Next time, don't give this chick any scapegoat. Type everything out.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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oneboy21

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Hi Picked this one, what you guys think

Buffalo Wild Wings. You've never been there before? Maybe I should take you sometime soon. You will enjoy it, tell me Are you the sort of person I should get to know better?" If you think Yes tell me Why?
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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This isn't an interview. Don't ask her the last part.
 

oneboy21

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Update
ME: Buffalo wild wings. You've never been there before? May be i should take you some time soon. You will enjoy it. What do you like to do for fun?, do you
have lots of guys chasing you?

HER: lol i don't think i've known anyone who abbreviates that place. ihave their food, yes, i get bunch of ugly tards messaging me.

Now should i reply her or leave her... Final decision
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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