http://www.theonion.com/articles/housewife-charged-in-sexforsecurity-scam,948/
The Onion is always hilarious.
The Onion is always hilarious.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Housewife Charged In Sex-For-Security Scam
- Thread starter Warrior74
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
The onion always calls it like it is.
This one is my favourite:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/but-if-we-started-dating-it-would-ruin-our-friends,11473/
This one is my favourite:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/but-if-we-started-dating-it-would-ruin-our-friends,11473/
Both hilarious, but also so true...
The original should be required reading for any guy planning to get married.
The second one should be required reading for any guy who thinks being "friends" first is the way to go.
The original should be required reading for any guy planning to get married.
The second one should be required reading for any guy who thinks being "friends" first is the way to go.
Gold digger for sure, but how can you prosecute this? They were a couple, husband and wife... she knew how to get what she wanted, he got what he wanted. The guy may be pretty dumb or he might not care and have the money to blow.
is this site a joke? am I missing something?
is this site a joke? am I missing something?
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
eh, the line between real and fake is really blurry here mpimpin.
but i say, if it makes both of em happy, where's the problem?
the reason we do anything is for happiness. we have every interaction with every person, place, or thing in our lives for no purpose other than self satisfaction and making things better for us.
in a weird way, us waking up to the deeper level of all this only LESSENS our prospects of happiness, because given an opportunity to have regular sex and provide for a wife that would otherwise make us happy, we automatically think... "she's probably cheating and just a golddigging ho"
but i say, if it makes both of em happy, where's the problem?
the reason we do anything is for happiness. we have every interaction with every person, place, or thing in our lives for no purpose other than self satisfaction and making things better for us.
in a weird way, us waking up to the deeper level of all this only LESSENS our prospects of happiness, because given an opportunity to have regular sex and provide for a wife that would otherwise make us happy, we automatically think... "she's probably cheating and just a golddigging ho"
(JJ) said:eh, the line between real and fake is really blurry here mpimpin.
but i say, if it makes both of em happy, where's the problem?
the reason we do anything is for happiness. we have every interaction with every person, place, or thing in our lives for no purpose other than self satisfaction and making things better for us.
in a weird way, us waking up to the deeper level of all this only LESSENS our prospects of happiness, because given an opportunity to have regular sex and provide for a wife that would otherwise make us happy, we automatically think... "she's probably cheating and just a golddigging ho"
I agree with you. As long as both parties are mutually happy what's the problem? If I have the cash and find a sexy trophy wife that pleases me sexually dangles off my arms at events and makes me happy and all I have to do is buy her sh!t... seems like a fair trade. The whole concept of "love" and marriage is a setup for disaster. It's a contract and should be treated as such. This is how it was done for hundreds, maybe thousands of years.
The fact that you thought that something from "The Onion" was real shows just how scary you are. No wonder you boys fall for scam artists and believe the crap you hear on tv.runner83 said:Both hilarious, but also so true...
The original should be required reading for any guy planning to get married.
The second one should be required reading for any guy who thinks being "friends" first is the way to go.