http://www.theonion.com/articles/housewife-charged-in-sexforsecurity-scam,948/
The Onion is always hilarious.
The Onion is always hilarious.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
(JJ) said:eh, the line between real and fake is really blurry here mpimpin.
but i say, if it makes both of em happy, where's the problem?
the reason we do anything is for happiness. we have every interaction with every person, place, or thing in our lives for no purpose other than self satisfaction and making things better for us.
in a weird way, us waking up to the deeper level of all this only LESSENS our prospects of happiness, because given an opportunity to have regular sex and provide for a wife that would otherwise make us happy, we automatically think... "she's probably cheating and just a golddigging ho"
The fact that you thought that something from "The Onion" was real shows just how scary you are. No wonder you boys fall for scam artists and believe the crap you hear on tv.runner83 said:Both hilarious, but also so true...
The original should be required reading for any guy planning to get married.
The second one should be required reading for any guy who thinks being "friends" first is the way to go.