http://www.theonion.com/articles/housewife-charged-in-sexforsecurity-scam,948/
The Onion is always hilarious.
The Onion is always hilarious.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
(JJ) said:eh, the line between real and fake is really blurry here mpimpin.
but i say, if it makes both of em happy, where's the problem?
the reason we do anything is for happiness. we have every interaction with every person, place, or thing in our lives for no purpose other than self satisfaction and making things better for us.
in a weird way, us waking up to the deeper level of all this only LESSENS our prospects of happiness, because given an opportunity to have regular sex and provide for a wife that would otherwise make us happy, we automatically think... "she's probably cheating and just a golddigging ho"
The fact that you thought that something from "The Onion" was real shows just how scary you are. No wonder you boys fall for scam artists and believe the crap you hear on tv.runner83 said:Both hilarious, but also so true...
The original should be required reading for any guy planning to get married.
The second one should be required reading for any guy who thinks being "friends" first is the way to go.