I'm hosting a small party this Saturday. I think there will be around 20 people there. I'm keeping it rather small, because I don't want to spend ages to clean up and have neighbours to consider. Any tips on making it an incredible event?
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Just a party really. A girl I like is coming, but to be frank I don't know if I'll have the time to entertain her. Looking good in front of her would be nice though.MainDroite said:You need some social lube. Alcohol will do. Refrain from smoking weed until the very end. Grooveshark.com should help you with the music (keep a separate room for dancers).
So is this a genuine party or are you simply trying to find an excuse for bedding one of your guests? If the latter, is it someone specific?
Good luck!
Great. Now I was thinking about the drinks part: I am not a rich man. In fact, I am a student. In Belgium it's quite normal to ask people to bring their own liquor, so I think I might do that. I'm also thinking of preparing some sort of fancy ****tail (actually a mate wants to prepare it, but okay). About the food: I'm thinking tapas. What do you think?PokerStar said:i myself throw parties on a regular so ill throw you a tip or two.
1. Make sure you have people network. introduce your boys to other girls and vice versa. who know you could be playing cupid for some lucky couple.
2. if you are serving drinks make sure your friends and the party goers have a ride home. friends dont let friends drink and drive.
3. be social, talk to everyone. you dont have to be the life of the party, but you bring the party to life.
4. if the girl you like happens to vibe out on you. ask her to help out with the clean up after. (if she really likes you, she will help out)
5. serve food.
6. have fun!
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Dude, I am European, I know what "we" likeMainDroite said:I heard Europeans are not very strong on BYOB. That's an american thing.
One thing you should know though is that there are vast cultural differences between Europeans. It's very hard to put the Italians in the same category as the Dutch for example. I often see people label certain things or behaviours as "European" on this forum, but it is nonsense, because of the big internal differences.MainDroite said:I was waiting for you to confirm this information.![]()
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
One thing you should know though is that there are vast cultural differences between Europeans. It's very hard to put the Italians in the same category as the Dutch for example. I often see people label certain things or behaviours as "European" on this forum, but it is nonsense, because of the big internal differences.MainDroite said:I was waiting for you to confirm this information.![]()