"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Hot girl from the library

bcolon

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Was she keeping direct eye contact? Sounds like its worth a shot. But seems to bland at the same time because you know nothing about her. You should of asked what books do you recommend or what are you reading. Have her talk about herself and then you can get clues about her and see if she is interesting. If YOU think she is worth your time then ask her blatantly do you want to go out for some coffee. That will come off weird because you know nothing about her. I would start off slow and ask questions about her. You pass the ice breaker so she knows you now.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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BigSmooth

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Thank God finally the first step is taken. Good job.


Now, get it movin' bud. Try to talk to her again, so she will know the first wasn't some fluke.
 

DJ_Dave

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Thanks smooth. Yeah obviously i'm going to talk to her again and see what her reaction is and go from there. She seemed nice enough anyway and I was going to suggest we get some coffee as a revision break but I wasn't sure if it was too soon. Also, I imagine getting asked out in the library is a bit weird but I can't do it anywhere else.
 

DJ_Dave

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Right, I messed up as she wasn't at the library today and is now finished exams so I won't see her again. However, I happen to have seen her on Facebook. I wouldn't normally but seeing as I have no other option should I add her and ask her for coffee?
 

BigSmooth

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DJ_Dave said:
Right, I messed up as she wasn't at the library today and is now finished exams so I won't see her again. However, I happen to have seen her on Facebook. I wouldn't normally but seeing as I have no other option should I add her and ask her for coffee?

If you think you're never going to run into her again, I would recommend getting in touch with her through facebook.

Hey, I mean it can't hurt right? Worst thing she can say is no. Best thing that could happen is well...up to your imagination. :cheer:
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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DJ_Dave

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Right, I added her on facebook and thought I might aswell be direct so asked if she fancied going for coffee. This was a day and a half ago and nothing so she's obviously not interested. It's just that I feel a bit **** not because she's not interested but that I didn't even get a reply. I mean, I kind of wanted some sort of reaction but I think she must have been creeped out by it. How would you expect someone to react to being asked out for coffee who you would recognise but don't know? I'd at least be polite if I wasn't interested and say so. I'd be happier if she'd said "No thanks, get lost creep."
 
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