"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Hot Bartender Gone Cold!

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Zarky

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^^^^ yeah big difference there. Basically she's saying "I'm the one who hasn't been talking to you," not vice-versa. She's got an ego the size of LA.

But then again, so do all bartender women. I don't understand why guys keep insisting on trying to date them.
 

Kailex

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SanDog11 said:
Gentlemen, (Specifically Kailex & Espi)

How do I play this?

I know not to respond, and maybe i'll go in next Wednesday and do my thing. What do you guys think?
Don't you dare text back.
Leave that alone, she's just seeking attention. Seriously, if I were you, I wouldn't go alone at all to that place.

She's seeking attention and possibly a customer with some added tips into the equation. Like you said, she was working and probably had some time to kill to text and you were the victim of choice. Women that do this know they have a high probability of pulling someone back into the fold even after a week.

You are way too invested into her. You should be making plans with other women. You listed a lot of good things going on for you, why are you so focused on this ONE "woman" instead of so many better options?

And what do you mean by "do my thing"? What thing?
 

SanDog11

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Don't you dare text back
I got drunk and did..it went like this:

Me: no worries you're playing the push/pull, hot/cold strategy. ha!
Her: what? no! i'm not playing games at all
Her: lol, no, silly (bla blah something like this)
Me: its all good because it gives me a chance to see through your games.
Her: SMH (shaking my head) no games, Aaron just not sure if we're compatable.
Her: hope you are doing well
Me: you took the words right out of my mouth.

Yes I shouldn't of texted back but now i'm over it and her number is deleted.

why are you so focused on this ONE "woman" instead of so many better options?
Not sure but I think it's because I thought we had a connection and it's been the first girl I felt that with in 1 year since me and my ex of 3 years split. I now know I was wrong and see her for what she really is.

I'm meeting this blonde nurse for a drink tomorrow so we'll see how that goes. I didn't pick her up, rather theres a girl at work that thinks we'd hit it off and set me up.
 

Kailex

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Well, that was a monumental disaster, but there is your answer.
Sometimes you need an exchange like that to realize what should have already been obvious to you. Now you can waltz into that place just fine and know where you stand. Don't be afraid to meet any women or take any women there either.

I just see female bartenders (even now) as buddies or co-workers.

I saw way too much working as one that they are pretty much at the bottom of my bang-list.

Remember, not only is she paid to make you feel "special" but you are paying her too, not only with tips, but with attention. Chalk it up to the game and call it a lesson learned.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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