Horrible situation w/ my ex. Help.

[coolf1r3]

Alright. So my ex and I dated from 12/07 to 8/08. For the first two months or so, I thought I could get back into the game. Since November of 08, I've been thinking of her a lot. I finally called her just to see how she was doing. I learned that she was dating a new guy and got really depressed over it. Some freshman in college, hm. She's a sophomore in HS, I'm a senior. For the last few months, I've somehow convinced myself that her and I could work if we gave it another try but she doesn't want any of it at the moment. I got on her boyfriend's bad side due to some stupid sh!t I said and he made her promise him that she wouldn't talk to me anymore. She agreed but still talks to me sometimes, but I really have to force the conversation. I've begged, I've cried, I've gotten angry, the works. I spent last night bawling my eyes out because I tried to call her and she wouldn't pick up because she was on the other line with that kid. I send a tirade of texts telling her to never contact me again but she left me a voicemail saying "Hey, it's me, I don't think that those texts about calling you are what you meant to say...so uh...whatever...bye." I broke down and called her back, apologizing profusely and choking on my own tears. I made mistakes when her and I were dating, I lied to her, I made excuses, but I've made a positive step in improving my self-concept since then. I just want another chance. I'm sick of clutching my pillow to my chest every night and waking up at 3AM, wishing that she would be curled up next to me. Another thing that absolutely infuriates me is when she makes a sexual joke. Jokingly, I said "**** your boyfriend, lol" when she said that he was calling and she replied with "All in due time." I was speechless and it felt like I had been slapped in the face. Can anyone provide some insight into why this hurts me so much? I can't stand the thought of someone else...touching...her. She was my first girlfriend, my first kiss, my first everything. We never made love but I've found myself wishing that we had. I've tried to move on numerous times but I always find myself calling her after a day or two. Sometimes, I don't even last that long! What the **** is wrong with me? Part of me wants another chance but another part of me knows that since I ship off to boot camp in August, I'll just end up hurting her. The reason we broke up was because she was becoming obsessive. She'd call my cell and if I didn't pick up, it was on to my house phone, then my mom's cell. Crazy, but she said that it was due to my lying to her and she didn't trust me. I'm desperate, guys. I seriously contemplated suicide last night and I'll be damned if this (future) Marine isn't going to be around to protect his country. Why do women have this kind of power over men?

I'm scared.


Help.

 

[darkstarrr]

What you are going through is normal. Especially for your/her age. There's really not a lot I can tell you other than to keep doing everything you can to move forward even if that means maintaining whatever it is you do everyday.

There's not really anything you can do about your ex. She is with someone else and very immature. My best advice for you would not to take any girl seriously until you and she is well into your 20s.

I'm 30 and you wouldn't believe the shit I've been through. You'll be fine I promise. Just try to use this as an opportunity to learn to protect yourself from becomming too emotionally involved until the honeymoon stage is over and you observe that you can still trust the other person, etc.

The fact that she was controlling and obsessive is a bad sign. If you did something to cause that its one thing, and learn from it. If not then why don't you continue to not do things that would cause that behavior, but with another girl. That way you won't have to deal with the BS.

Good luck.

 

[jeffthechef]

you were too attached

attachment leads to suffering
love and attachment aren't the same
attachment is obsession

girls only have as much power as you let them have...nothing in this world is inherently more significant than anything else...that piece of **** that you flushed down the toilet is as important in this world as your girlfriend was or the food you ate to make that ****...if you give everyone and everything equal value without obsession...you won't suffer anymore...and that's what djs do...knock the hottest girl off her pedastool and keep her equal with every other girl...so oneitis never occurs

 

[coolf1r3]

Shameless bump.

 

[lalahaha]

haha yeah we can't really help you, only time is gonna make you forget about her. however hang out with your friends man, first you are still going to be all down and **** but after a while you will see you don't need her. its still going to be a hard process but thats all the advice i can give, maybe get some friends to help restrain you from calling her/talking to her/thinking about her but you just have to wait it out

 

[kazz]

dude I think you should pursue other women ASAP, this isn't just about her but about you...why should you have to sacrifice your happiness or health?

 

[It's-Me]

Why do women have this kind of power over men?(

Because you let them have that power. Simple as that.

Alright. So my ex and I dated from 12/07 to 8/08. For the first two months or so, I thought I could get back into the game. Since November of 08, I've been thinking of her a lot. I finally called her just to see how she was doing. I learned that she was dating a new guy and got really depressed over it. Some freshman in college, hm. She's a sophomore in HS, I'm a senior. For the last few months, I've somehow convinced myself that her and I could work if we gave it another try but she doesn't want any of it at the moment. I got on her boyfriend's bad side due to some stupid sh!t I said and he made her promise him that she wouldn't talk to me anymore. She agreed but still talks to me sometimes, but I really have to force the conversation. I've begged, I've cried, I've gotten angry, the works. I spent last night bawling my eyes out because I tried to call her and she wouldn't pick up because she was on the other line with that kid. I send a tirade of texts telling her to never contact me again but she left me a voicemail saying "Hey, it's me, I don't think that those texts about calling you are what you meant to say...so uh...whatever...bye." I broke down and called her back, apologizing profusely and choking on my own tears. I made mistakes when her and I were dating, I lied to her, I made excuses, but I've made a positive step in improving my self-concept since then. I just want another chance. I'm sick of clutching my pillow to my chest every night and waking up at 3AM, wishing that she would be curled up next to me. Another thing that absolutely infuriates me is when she makes a sexual joke. Jokingly, I said "**** your boyfriend, lol" when she said that he was calling and she replied with "All in due time." I was speechless and it felt like I had been slapped in the face. Can anyone provide some insight into why this hurts me so much? I can't stand the thought of someone else...touching...her. She was my first girlfriend, my first kiss, my first everything. We never made love but I've found myself wishing that we had. I've tried to move on numerous times but I always find myself calling her after a day or two. Sometimes, I don't even last that long! What the **** is wrong with me? Part of me wants another chance but another part of me knows that since I ship off to boot camp in August, I'll just end up hurting her. The reason we broke up was because she was becoming obsessive. She'd call my cell and if I didn't pick up, it was on to my house phone, then my mom's cell. Crazy, but she said that it was due to my lying to her and she didn't trust me. I'm desperate, guys. I seriously contemplated suicide last night and I'll be damned if this (future) Marine isn't going to be around to protect his country. Why do women have this kind of power over men?

I'm scared.


Help.

You have to stop thinking about her. Find a hobby, fill your time so you won't have the time to think about her. Go meet some more women, that will surely get your mind off of her, especially if you meet a even better girl than her.

 

[eaglez1177]

Bro you gotta cut off ALL contact. And I mean EVERY SINGLE THING THAT REMINDS YOU OF HER. Remove from facebook, aim, remove her number, anything she ever gave you. Get rid of all of it and never talk to her again. And I would also try to find a different piece of ass while your at it to take your mind of things.

Lesson learned: Dont get too attached to any girl otherwise your gonna wind up like this kid.