"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Horrible Horrible HORRIBLE at physical escalation

killahpl

Don Juan
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Right so I am a 28 year old dude who works for a worldwide IT corporation and who speaks three foreign languages - all of which is to say that I have done okay for myself in the career/business/self-development aspect of my life despite having gotten absolutely nothing from my parents in terms of finances/material posessions - but the thought of escalating to kissing, sex, etc. paralyzes me.

Outside of 1 long-ish relationship, my encounters with women have sucked. Recently, I met this 22-year-old girl from Portugal (I'm Polish) who I kinda dig and she seems to be into me as well (or maybe not, it depends to what extent self-evaluation can be relied on with this sort of thing), to the point where she'll go out on severaldates with me, seems to be having a great time, does the play-punch-you-back-if-you-play-punch-me thing, play-teases me right back when I do it to her, etc. The "only" thing that's missing is kissing, foreplay, sex etc. and I feel completely disempowered in trying to take things to the next level. Which is such a shame, because I feel that I'm actually a charming f***er - up to a point (heh, they should put that on my gravestone one day - "charming f***er. up to a point), got a good sense of humor, I have no problems getting people to open up to me.

But this thing just crushes my soul. I wanna go for the kiss so bad, I know I HAVE TO show SEXUAL interest, but more often than not, I end up doing nothing. Screw one-itis, I am more than willing to test things out on this chick, lose her or not (yeah, I know, so far I haven't actually 'had' her to be able to 'lose' anything) but I need IDEAS as to what to do to make this less agonizing. Should I seek professional help?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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badboyjmm

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 25, 2010
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Canada
Just go for it my man, there's nothing else that will make it more easy. It's like riding a bike or driving a manual car for the first time. You stress out because you don't wanna get in a accident, stress out that you will get hurt. Guess what... You did it anyways right (I hope you know how to ride a bike hehe)

hold her hands, look her in the eyes and it's money. You will see whether she wants to be kissed or not.

Go read the DJ Bible ! Tons of information about the kino and kiss-closing. The search bar is your friend ! Good luck bro
 

zinc4

Master Don Juan
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exactly....there is nothing to be said...you just HAVE to do it...and the more often you get used to making moves you will begin to feel more comfortable...no magiccal solution here....JUST DO IT
 

TheCWord

Master Don Juan
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Yup, as the guys are saying - it's all practice. It'll become second nature eventually.
 

like2jam

Don Juan
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The first kiss can always be a little awkward, but if she's into you, she's probably just waiting for you to finally kiss her already.

You just need to wait for the proper moment, hopefully when she's in a good mood and just go in for a quick kiss on the lips. If she responds, then you'll have your green light to go in for a much longer, deeper kiss. This part is pretty easy in general if a girl is interested in you. If she's not into you, then she just won't be into kissing you back. No big deal then. Next.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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