"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Horrible Horrible HORRIBLE at physical escalation

killahpl

Don Juan
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Right so I am a 28 year old dude who works for a worldwide IT corporation and who speaks three foreign languages - all of which is to say that I have done okay for myself in the career/business/self-development aspect of my life despite having gotten absolutely nothing from my parents in terms of finances/material posessions - but the thought of escalating to kissing, sex, etc. paralyzes me.

Outside of 1 long-ish relationship, my encounters with women have sucked. Recently, I met this 22-year-old girl from Portugal (I'm Polish) who I kinda dig and she seems to be into me as well (or maybe not, it depends to what extent self-evaluation can be relied on with this sort of thing), to the point where she'll go out on severaldates with me, seems to be having a great time, does the play-punch-you-back-if-you-play-punch-me thing, play-teases me right back when I do it to her, etc. The "only" thing that's missing is kissing, foreplay, sex etc. and I feel completely disempowered in trying to take things to the next level. Which is such a shame, because I feel that I'm actually a charming f***er - up to a point (heh, they should put that on my gravestone one day - "charming f***er. up to a point), got a good sense of humor, I have no problems getting people to open up to me.

But this thing just crushes my soul. I wanna go for the kiss so bad, I know I HAVE TO show SEXUAL interest, but more often than not, I end up doing nothing. Screw one-itis, I am more than willing to test things out on this chick, lose her or not (yeah, I know, so far I haven't actually 'had' her to be able to 'lose' anything) but I need IDEAS as to what to do to make this less agonizing. Should I seek professional help?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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badboyjmm

Senior Don Juan
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Just go for it my man, there's nothing else that will make it more easy. It's like riding a bike or driving a manual car for the first time. You stress out because you don't wanna get in a accident, stress out that you will get hurt. Guess what... You did it anyways right (I hope you know how to ride a bike hehe)

hold her hands, look her in the eyes and it's money. You will see whether she wants to be kissed or not.

Go read the DJ Bible ! Tons of information about the kino and kiss-closing. The search bar is your friend ! Good luck bro
 

zinc4

Master Don Juan
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exactly....there is nothing to be said...you just HAVE to do it...and the more often you get used to making moves you will begin to feel more comfortable...no magiccal solution here....JUST DO IT
 

TheCWord

Master Don Juan
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Yup, as the guys are saying - it's all practice. It'll become second nature eventually.
 

like2jam

Don Juan
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The first kiss can always be a little awkward, but if she's into you, she's probably just waiting for you to finally kiss her already.

You just need to wait for the proper moment, hopefully when she's in a good mood and just go in for a quick kiss on the lips. If she responds, then you'll have your green light to go in for a much longer, deeper kiss. This part is pretty easy in general if a girl is interested in you. If she's not into you, then she just won't be into kissing you back. No big deal then. Next.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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