"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Hookup Stories

888

Don Juan
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Over the summer, I did a program for high schoolers and college students in Europe and basically tried to f*ck everything I could. I did some stuff that really would have been a good idea to not do; I'm honestly shocked and surprised that I didn't get an STD.

I figure everyone has at a few of those really weird/embarrassing/outlandish stories that normally they wouldn't tell anyone about. Part of me wants to brag about my summer, and the other part wants to see what kind of f*cked up stuff the rest of SS has been getting into.

Without further ado:

1. A girl shaved my pubes, and then gave me a hj using the shaving cream as lube (Bad idea, shaving cream dries out reeeaaaally fast)

2. I stuck my d*ck into a girl's bum; I wouldn't really say that I had anal sex since I only got one or two thrusts in before she made me pull out. I got poop and blood on my penis :(

3. The same girl was very reluctant to go down on me, so we compromised and 69'd.

4. Titf*cked a girl

5. A girl queefed just as I was about to go down on her

6. Got a BJ from a girl while her 50+ year old roommate was sleeping right next to us.

7. I did this (NSFW), I don't even know what it's called
http://www.sexinfo101.com/sp_throatswab.shtml

8. A girl blew me while wearing these huge headphones and watching a movie on my laptop (I had the laptop on my belly facing towards her)

9. Tasted my own precum to convince a girl that the taste wasn't that bad

10. Used a plastic bag as a dental dam

11. Was lying down on the bed while getting a HJ, and I accidentally jizzed on my own face.


So yeah...thanks SS I guess? Would not have dreamed of doing any of this if it weren't for you guys. Anyway. I want to hear your stories.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Pdizzzzzzle

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Berlex said:
This one time at band camp...
american pie.....classic
 

getready

Don Juan
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****ed a girl in a movie theatre. I thought it was pretty cool.
 

Scars

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- Earned my red wings. (Not necessarily uncommon I guess, but still kind of grossed me out.

- Put it in a girls butt.

- Fingered a girl and then stuck another finger in her but (the shocker) and then advanced to a second finger in the butt which I now called THE SPOCKER.

- Had sex with two girls at the same time.

- A girl also queefed, but it was right after having sex in my car. The funny part is my reaction because all I said was "Did you just fvcking fart?" and embarrassed the hell out of her by accident.

- Was drunk and me and my girlfriend at the time "broken into" (not really because the door was unlocked) a neighbors SUV and had sex in it.

- Had sex with 3 different girls in the same night. (20th birthday)

- Fingered a girl under a blanket right in front of her mom.

..That's about all I can think of right now.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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NorwegianDJ

Master Don Juan
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Hahaha, SICK thread! OP, what kind of program was this?
I'm gonna do a summer-school at Harvard, how can I make it awesome?
 
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