"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Hook up with a girl twice asked her out she said no

lifesfun

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
Messages
20
Reaction score
0
SO I started talking to this girl a few weeks ago. I teased her a lot and she was connecting good with me. I could tell she was interested in me. I saw her a a few of my football games we had a lot of fun. SO last week of homecoming I was at the dance, I'm not going to lie I'm a pretty good dancer, I danced with her a few times and at the last song we hooked up and left the dance holding hands.
Monday I saw her a few times, one of the times it was awkward. So I decided I wanted to show her it wasn't just a random hookup so I after school I grabbed her hands took her away from her friends, I felt really decisive she just told her friends bye and I lead her to a kinda personal spot, I told her "i had a lot of fun at the dance"
her" blah blah, then I kissed her, This was done really smooth and it was not awkward. but after the kiss I did not know what to do so I put my arm around her and started walking, I held her hand until I had to go the other direction. This walk just like the one at the dance had a lot of tension after the kiss, I didn't know what to do so I dissolved the tension but tension/ chemistry is good right? Whats suppose to happen after you kiss the girl?.... Was it suppose to be a little awkward after I kissed her because thats how all my hookups have beeen?....
SO the next day I walked with her but I kept getting really nervous about seeing her I became an awkward friend like when I started off approaching girls for the first time. For some reason I just drew blanks and I like forgot how to tease her?!? This was in one interaction on Tuesday, I literally felt her attraction level in me dropping... I decided I needed to see were this was going. I kept getting nervous because I haven't had a relationship in a few years and I have only had hookups. I wasn't sure if kissing a girl twice meant we were going out or if I had to ask her out or what?... What should I do next time?
Today I decided I would ask her out and that if I had completely killed it with her the past couple of days then it was fine I have many options. So I tryed leading her again ,I felt her resist my kino. I knew what her answer to going be...I asked her if she wanted to go to the game together.... It was the usual "blah, blah, blah" no type of answer. I played it off good kept it from turning really awkward. Actually as soon as she said that. I felt happy. I never asked a girl out directly like that. In the past I have never had to be direct in expressing to a girl that I like her other than kissing. Weight was lifted from my shoulder and then I started acting normal again. I talked with her all the way to English. I felt her attraction level rising again we both paused and almost gave each other hugs. her voice and the look in her eyes returned to the the girl that had liked me a few days before. I know that a few days of normal me again the only thing keeping us from making out will be her "Blah blah blah" from today that was caused by me the 2 days before. So what if she starts showing me IOI's again what do I do?
...Even right before and after this girl and I hooked up I was still keeping my options open, so i didnt have to worry about the oneits. But I am afraid this will happen to me again, me acting like a girl and awkward person when somebody hooks up with me. I get really nervous. Guys please help me out! Any advice, feedback, or responses to my questions would be awsome.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Michele l'Arcangelo

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2005
Messages
1,460
Reaction score
22
lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol!!!... this was a good read.

soo0oo0oo... are ya in love? you know... goin steady? or are ya... are ya just courting her still? yenno... obviously... trying to play it cool... but looking like youre trying to play it cool... which... makes you... makes you not actually playing it cool? yenno... like when you try being suave by holding her hand and kissing her after the second time seeing her? well yenno, i woulda thought "hey maybe this is kind of awkward for her." NAHHH... you doin just fine.
 

eXclu$ive $wAggA

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 13, 2007
Messages
16
Reaction score
0
this is for when you said somethin about askin her to the game but she wouldnt give you a straightup answer and you said you played it cool as to not make it akward.

i would start calling her bullsh*t. sometimes girls need you to be a man and say whats on your mind. for instance you should have said "look. are we going to the game or not? i have my own life too and i can take someone else with me but im asking you so tell me your answer and dont beat around the muthafvckin bush."
 
B

BenPW-DJNewbie

Guest
theres the problem. When you kissed her, you got nervous. Which shows your insecurity. And then you dropped all the DJ teachings and became a stuttering nervous wreck. Learn from it. Hook up with lots of girl and it will become second nature to you. I doubt you have much chance of salvaging this relationship.
 

Alkali

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2007
Messages
397
Reaction score
0
Why do you worry so much?

Fukc, you're worse than I am! And I'm suffering from oneitus!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

DJsomeday

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 2, 2006
Messages
124
Reaction score
1
oneitis, search in the bible. It basically means "being in love" with ONE girl, as you'll soon learn: it's wrong.

Search it in the bible or read the chapter "The power of Detachment" in weapons of mass seduction, that chapter only has helped me SO MUCH!!!!!!!.
 

lifesfun

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
Messages
20
Reaction score
0
Thanks guys for the advice its really helpful... you guys are right I do become afc when things start going towards a realtionship for me... I think all of my nervousness is from before I got into the community, old beliefs conflicting with my new success. I made progress on this friday heres what happened....
I went to the football game friday, and my friend introduced me to this cute english girl who was leaving on saturday. I talked to her and we connected and her accent was so sexy... during the game she talked to this one amog and he totally got her warmed up for me, made her laugh and stuff. After the game I went back to my friends house with the cute english girl to go tp'in. When we were driving to the first hous I was grabbing the tp and I for some reason me and the english girl ended up holing hands until we got to the house..... no akwardness, I felt good and relaxed, we tp'd a few houses but I had to go back to my house and I was trying for a kiss close but I didnt have enough time so I tryed for a for a rushed I realized there was no mood so I hugged her kissed her on the cheek and said I cant believe I wont see you again, here friends came so we hopped in the car held hands and I went home..... if only I had a few minutes with her alone

Thanks alot again guyz
 
Top