Honey

[zekko]

I'd like some opinions on this. You know how some women call everybody "honey", "hon", "sweetheart", "sweetie", "darling", "dear", or whatever? Most of them specifically only call men by these names. Many of them are waitresses or clerks. I'm often a little surprised that they are allowed to do this.

I'm wondering, do you know of any men who practice this sort of habit? Do you think they could get away with it? Do you think there is any benefit for a guy doing this sort of thing? Any drawbacks? I've seen obviously gay waiters do this kind of thing, but I think it's definitely more common among women. Not sure what a male version of this would be, maybe a guy who called all women "Babe" or "Toots" lol.

Just to be clear, I'm asking out of curiosity, not because I'm looking to implement this as some sort of strategy for myself. As a phenomenon, it's always fascinated me. What do you think it says about women who do this? I think it gives off a kind of a low class, low value impression, but YMMV.

 

[bat soup]

I'd like some opinions on this. You know how some women call everybody "honey", "hon", "sweetheart", "sweetie", "darling", "dear", or whatever? Most of them specifically only call men by these names. Many of them are waitresses or clerks. I'm often a little surprised that they are allowed to do this.

I'm wondering, do you know of any men who practice this sort of habit? Do you think they could get away with it? Do you think there is any benefit for a guy doing this sort of thing? Any drawbacks? I've seen obviously gay waiters do this kind of thing, but I think it's definitely more common among women. Not sure what a male version of this would be, maybe a guy who called all women "Babe" or "Toots" lol.

Just to be clear, I'm asking out of curiosity, not because I'm looking to implement this as some sort of strategy for myself. As a phenomenon, it's always fascinated me. What do you think it says about women who do this? I think it gives off a kind of a low class, low value impression, but YMMV.

I'm going to do an experiment. Tomorrow I'll call every woman I meet "pumpkin puss". I'll let you know how I get on.

 

[Velasco]

Not sure what a male version of this would be, maybe a guy who called all women "Babe" or "Toots" lol

Baby

 

[Barrister]

I am called "darling" by a couple of older female attorneys I work with. They are approximately 20 years older than me and we share a very friendly, flirtatious, but platonic relationship. I would say you may call it somewhat unprofessional, although I have zero sexual interest in them. But it's fun.

If the roles were reversed I could see it being a problem. There is a clear double standard where women can use these little pet names under the right circumstances and if a man does it society will label it "creepy" or "inappropriate." I have gotten the "hun" or "honey" from waitresses too. I guess based off my experience I don't think it necessarily denotes anything about class but more just highlights how differently society looks at the sexes.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

I'd like some opinions on this. You know how some women call everybody "honey", "hon", "sweetheart", "sweetie", "darling", "dear", or whatever? Most of them specifically only call men by these names. Many of them are waitresses or clerks. I'm often a little surprised that they are allowed to do this.

I'm wondering, do you know of any men who practice this sort of habit? Do you think they could get away with it? Do you think there is any benefit for a guy doing this sort of thing? Any drawbacks? I've seen obviously gay waiters do this kind of thing, but I think it's definitely more common among women. Not sure what a male version of this would be, maybe a guy who called all women "Babe" or "Toots" lol.

Just to be clear, I'm asking out of curiosity, not because I'm looking to implement this as some sort of strategy for myself. As a phenomenon, it's always fascinated me. What do you think it says about women who do this? I think it gives off a kind of a low class, low value impression, but YMMV.

I find it extremely offensive and an obvious attempt to extract resources from you.

I have tipped bartenders and waitresses ZERO many times for calling me pet names.

 

[RangerMIke]

I live in New Orleans... doing stuff like this is normal and actually expected. I've had women I just met kiss me on the lips... it's really nothing here. I guess it all depends on location and context. People here are always hugging and kissing each other.

 

[zekko]

I find it extremely offensive and an obvious attempt to extract resources from you.

It's not all about tipping though. I've noticed this a lot from female gas station attendants.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

It's not all about tipping though. I've noticed this a lot from female gas station attendants.

Me too. I find it condescending every time.

I don't know them well enough for them to call me sweetie. And the people they actually know and respect... They don't call sweetie.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

If I hear any word of endearment like that, to me, it's a crossing of a boundary which means I need to explore that by making physical contact with her and gauging a response and let's just say, hearing this is typically blood in the water.

To me, it's her communicating that "I'm into you but you need to be more masculine"

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

If I hear any word of endearment like that, to me, it's a crossing of a boundary which means I need to explore that by making physical contact with her and gauging a response and let's just say, hearing this is typically blood in the water.

To me, it's her communicating that "I'm into you but you need to be more masculine"

A complete stranger cannot be into you like that. And that's usually who calls you these things.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

A complete stranger cannot be into you like that. And that's usually who calls you these things.

Doesn't matter, it's become instinct for me, I might be headed into a shut down, rejection, that's fine, it's the attempt

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

Doesn't matter, it's become instinct for me, I might be headed into a shut down, rejection, that's fine, it's the attempt

When a stranger calls me sweetie.... I'M the one who shuts down. I refuse to acknowledge their presence after that point.

 

[zekko]

Me too. I find it condescending every time.

I don't know them well enough for them to call me sweetie. And the people they actually know and respect... They don't call sweetie.

I also find it condescending, I'm not sure why. As for the people they actually know and respect, I have no idea how they treat them, because they are strangers, after all.

To me, it's her communicating that "I'm into you but you need to be more masculine"

You can respond to it however you like, but I don't see it as being about me at all. As I've said, these women seem to call all the males they encounter "hon" or whatever.

 

[metalwater]

overthinking this one.

Before, older men used to do this all of the time with younger females, in the 60s, 70s, and before. It was common dialog. It is the mark of a self-confident person, man or woman, and then perhaps from habit.

Hi Sir...
Hi sweetie..

different vibe, but both are positive however sweetie is less formal. it is also a substitution for "what is your name, hi <name>.."

some still do it, but with the huge focus on keeping men contained it is one of the casualties and we are not better for losing it.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

At any rate, if your unsure, approach, don't wait

 

[zekko]

some still do it, but with the huge focus on keeping men contained it is one of the casualties and we are not better for losing it.

If I understand you correctly, that's an interesting point. A guy from the '50s calling a random girl sweetie has a feel of putting her in her place, or establishing dominance over her. Or not really establishing dominance, more like referencing a dominance that is already there. We've lost that, and the woke crowd would likely crack down a guy who goes around calling women sweetie now.

 

[Black Widow Void]

In the South, this practice is still everyday common. I recall some young waitress using these terms (can't remember which particular word) but it made me think.
I was thinking that it seemed out of place (due to her young age). I never cared for these terms because it seems 'too familiar' for my liking.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I'd like some opinions on this. You know how some women call everybody "honey", "hon", "sweetheart", "sweetie", "darling", "dear", or whatever? Most of them specifically only call men by these names. Many of them are waitresses or clerks. I'm often a little surprised that they are allowed to do this.

I'm wondering, do you know of any men who practice this sort of habit? Do you think they could get away with it? Do you think there is any benefit for a guy doing this sort of thing? Any drawbacks? I've seen obviously gay waiters do this kind of thing, but I think it's definitely more common among women. Not sure what a male version of this would be, maybe a guy who called all women "Babe" or "Toots" lol.

Just to be clear, I'm asking out of curiosity, not because I'm looking to implement this as some sort of strategy for myself. As a phenomenon, it's always fascinated me. What do you think it says about women who do this? I think it gives off a kind of a low class, low value impression, but YMMV.

I don’t know the answer to your question but I find few things more annoying than women calling me “hon”. If a waitress does that, it will automatically affect her tip. It’s such a stupid word if you think about it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'd like some opinions on this. You know how some women call everybody "honey", "hon", "sweetheart", "sweetie", "darling", "dear", or whatever? Most of them specifically only call men by these names. Many of them are waitresses or clerks. I'm often a little surprised that they are allowed to do this.

I'm wondering, do you know of any men who practice this sort of habit? Do you think they could get away with it? Do you think there is any benefit for a guy doing this sort of thing? Any drawbacks? I've seen obviously gay waiters do this kind of thing, but I think it's definitely more common among women. Not sure what a male version of this would be, maybe a guy who called all women "Babe" or "Toots" lol.

Just to be clear, I'm asking out of curiosity, not because I'm looking to implement this as some sort of strategy for myself. As a phenomenon, it's always fascinated me. What do you think it says about women who do this? I think it gives off a kind of a low class, low value impression, but YMMV.

I know guys that call women "Dear". That's the closest thing I can think of.

 

[Mike32ct]

Today at lunch, the bartender chick said “What’s up my dear?” She says that every time. Doesn’t phase me at all.

I don’t find it condescending. I’m VERY aware of when people talk down to me. But hon/sweetie/dear from female waitstaff/bartenders doesn’t mean anything at all. It’s intended to be neutral to slightly friendly. Also had a gay waiter call me hon. No harm there either.

Straight guy staff will call me man/bud/sir or sometimes “boss.” The last one is kinda weird and could possibly be condescending depending on the tone.

If a chick is rude to me, it’s usually in nonverbal ways. Sighs, eyerolls, lack of eye contact and other dismissive body language.

Being called hon/sweetie/dear is the least of my concerns with women.