"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Honesty?

LikRetsam

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Well I ruined the surprise. This thread is about honesty. I don't believe in always telling the truth. I lie very often and I am so good at it that I am never caught. But there are times where lieing is not appropriate. There are times when you lie not because it's going to get in the way of a goal but because it's going to have a negative effect on you.

You want confidence? Here it is. Walking up to a girl is hardly an achievement unless you're considering how many calories you've destroyed. Asking for a phone number, complimenting, asking her out whatever. That does not display confidence. It just shows that you are social. Confidence is telling the truth. Confidence is having the ****ing balls to take responsibility for what you've done.

A guy I know cheated on his girlfriend and she found out. He told her that it was nothing, it was just a peck. I was utterly disgusted. If you're going to do something, atleast have the maturity to stand behind your choice. Class presidents going soft when it's time to act and then lieing about what really happened. People blaming others for their faults. It's pathetic. Again, I don't care if you lie to get your way. I do care that when the sh!t hits the fan, you don't puss out.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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TyTe`EyEs

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Again, I don't care if you lie to get your way. I do care that when the sh!t hits the fan, you don't puss out.

You're contradicting yourself there. If someone lies when the sh1t hits the fan, they're doing it so they can have their way.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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LikRetsam

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Minor difference. I lie so people will leave me alone so I can get to what I want to do. I lie when they think they've caught me skipping class. However, when something that will have dire consequences (crappy report card, no hobbies for next trimester for example) I don't hide the letter. I walk up and give my parents the paper and suck it up. It's MY FAULT, I won't blame it on some outside force.

When someone lies when the sh1t hits the fan, they aren't doing it to get their way. They HAVE their way. Their way is what got them in that situation and lieing at those points of your life does not make you feel proud of yourself. Yeah you can keep doing what you were doing, but there's a little thing called guilt and regret. Ofcourse, if you believe in any kind of morals.
 

TyTe`EyEs

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I agree now that you've explained what you meant.



By the way, how's it going with that chick you made a couple of threads about?
 

LikRetsam

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We broke up yesterday. It was the most perfect subtle manipulation. I wasn't sure if she was a great catch or just a good faker and a few well placed questions, some failed responses and failed actions later, she comes to me yesterday thinking she knows what's going on and says 'let's just be friends'. I play along and then about an hour later, I take off my sweater and my t-shirt reads 'Stop pretending you don't want me'. At which point she understands that she was just played like a violin. She came up to me later asking me what the hell I did and how. Sigh, debutantes.
 

Maeisgood

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What did you do to get her in the first place? Was she involved with anyone to begin with? Once I figure this whole thing out then I won't have to fill up the thing with my threads.
 

Kidd

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Aah, I learned this lesson the hard way.

Lieing about things such as report cards can get you away from the consequence for a little while, but the truth will be out either way.

It always feels best to just take responsibility and accept the consequences when you **** up.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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