So my home girl was telling me how much of a good guy I am and that she really wants me to start dating her friend who is an HB8. Only problem. Her friend doesn't wanna have sex till she's married. Is there a way around this? I'm at an age where sex in a relationship is normal and I unno if I can b tied down for a year and not have sex.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Home girl trying to hook me up, but the girl is a nun
- Thread starter Rint
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Igetit!
Moderator
Well since you're 18,I suppose this is as good a time as any to learn this lesson...Rint said:She's not literally a nun, but I heard this guy dumped her cause she wouldn have sex with her and she dated this other guy for 3 years and nothin as well.
You can't always get what you want.
It's really simple.
You want a girl you can have sex with.
This girl wants to wait until she's married to have sex.
Well? So what's the problem here? What's the confusion?
You want to have sex NOW. She wants to wait.
Clearly you two aren't compatible. Instead of you trying to change her or get her to do something she doesn't want to do,you simply need to go find a girl who wants the same thing you want,and this girl needs to find a guy who doesn't mind waiting. I mean come on,it isn't rocket science.
If you were to get with her,you'd only frustrate yourself.
I think it's dumb to try to change people.
Just go on about your business and leave her alone.
She doesn't want to be pressured into having sex,and you don't want to be pressured into being celibate.
So you go your way and find a girl who wants what you want,and she should go find a guy who wants what she wants instead of you two causing each other unnecessary stress and tension ON TOP OF the normal problems male/female relationships encounter.
Sounds like you aren't emotionally invested in her yet and don't know her so well, so I would advise nexting this girl before you even start. There are lots and lots of HB8s around, why waste all your time on this one?
I'm not saying it would be impossible to get her into bed, I've done it before with a "no sex before marriage" girl. It just takes that much more time/effort and it isn't really worth it.
I'm not saying it would be impossible to get her into bed, I've done it before with a "no sex before marriage" girl. It just takes that much more time/effort and it isn't really worth it.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.