LucianoM
Senior Don Juan
What interesting "hobbies" do you guys actually have? Trains sets? Medieval roleplay? Hobbies are bullchit things single men do when they dont have girls to chill with or they are butthurt about a girl.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
BS ^What interesting "hobbies" do you guys actually have? Trains sets? Medieval roleplay? Hobbies are bullchit things single men do when they don't have girls to chill with or are butthurt about a girl.
BS ^
Open water long-distance swimming<alone>, spearfishing<alone> scuba diving<alone>, cycling<alone>, rock&roll dancing<alone>, drumming<alone>,
Girls are a bonus.
Get a life
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Nope!What interesting "hobbies" do you guys actually have? Trains sets? Medieval roleplay? Hobbies are bullchit things single men do when they dont have girls to chill with or they are butthurt about a girl.
I think hobbies should be for personal enjoyment/enrichment only.Agreed. Overrated advice that ends up in sausage fests.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
No guy should have a hobby because of the 1/256 chance you'll meet someone.I think hobbies should be for personal enjoyment/enrichment only.
I cringe at the (blue pill/boomer) advice that "You're gonna meet someone while you're just enjoying your hobby." It's possible, but I wouldn't put money on it.
Your mindset to hobbies seems to be that you do them for other people, not for yourself. Hobbies are to build your skills, relax and disconnect from hard work. They aren't to show off to other people to look girl or to get girls. Those things are just extras that can add more value to your lifeWhat interesting "hobbies" do you guys actually have? Trains sets? Medieval roleplay? Hobbies are bullchit things single men do when they dont have girls to chill with or they are butthurt about a girl.
Right? Some of these alone and some with a group. I guess it may be different if you already have a mate. I’ve had buddies mention inviting the ladies along and we laughed, “bro, we’re here to get away from the wives/girl friends, get a break from our responsibilities and have some fun.” I’ve brought my wife along on activities and she complained the whole time. I thought, “holy fuk, what was I thinking?”. Not every minute of the day needs to involve the presence of a woman. Women like to talk, men like to do. i’d rather bomb down a trail in the Santa Cruz mountains then listen to the current female friend group drama. Idk, some guys have this notion that once you get a woman you’re gonna be fuking non stop like rabbits. You should have hobbies that enrich your life and bring you joy. If a woman is there for some of it, then cool.Golf, hunting, fishing, wood working, traveling, hiking, running, weight training, reading...self improvement
i prioritize my hobbies and self improvement over hanging with females. She comes along for the journey and when I have a free evening will hang with her...
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I think it is a good idea for all men to engage in some hobbies. The personal enrichment aspect of hobbies can provide talking points during pickups and on 1st/2nd dates. The hobbies themselves are not likely to lead to dates, but they are useful for male friendships. Male friendships are often hobby based. It can be a good idea to combine your hobbies into your male friendship time.I think hobbies should be for personal enjoyment/enrichment only.
I cringe at the (blue pill/boomer) advice that "You're gonna meet someone while you're just enjoying your hobby." It's possible, but I wouldn't put money on it.
This is 100% accurate in my mating environment experiences as well.women don't really care about "compatibility" in the context of having common interests/hobbies. Attraction is king. Having common interests without solid sexual attraction is called friendzone.
What if your hobby is SexpatMaxxing?What interesting "hobbies" do you guys actually have? Trains sets? Medieval roleplay? Hobbies are bullchit things single men do when they dont have girls to chill with or they are butthurt about a girl.
Not necessarily, not everyone is the same. I've gone without intimate female company for multiple years now.And here's the thing about being without something for too long: Eventually you need "interest."
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.