LucianoM
Senior Don Juan
What interesting "hobbies" do you guys actually have? Trains sets? Medieval roleplay? Hobbies are bullchit things single men do when they dont have girls to chill with or they are butthurt about a girl.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
BS ^What interesting "hobbies" do you guys actually have? Trains sets? Medieval roleplay? Hobbies are bullchit things single men do when they don't have girls to chill with or are butthurt about a girl.
BS ^
Open water long-distance swimming<alone>, spearfishing<alone> scuba diving<alone>, cycling<alone>, rock&roll dancing<alone>, drumming<alone>,
Girls are a bonus.
Get a life
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Nope!What interesting "hobbies" do you guys actually have? Trains sets? Medieval roleplay? Hobbies are bullchit things single men do when they dont have girls to chill with or they are butthurt about a girl.
I think hobbies should be for personal enjoyment/enrichment only.Agreed. Overrated advice that ends up in sausage fests.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
No guy should have a hobby because of the 1/256 chance you'll meet someone.I think hobbies should be for personal enjoyment/enrichment only.
I cringe at the (blue pill/boomer) advice that "You're gonna meet someone while you're just enjoying your hobby." It's possible, but I wouldn't put money on it.
Your mindset to hobbies seems to be that you do them for other people, not for yourself. Hobbies are to build your skills, relax and disconnect from hard work. They aren't to show off to other people to look girl or to get girls. Those things are just extras that can add more value to your lifeWhat interesting "hobbies" do you guys actually have? Trains sets? Medieval roleplay? Hobbies are bullchit things single men do when they dont have girls to chill with or they are butthurt about a girl.
Right? Some of these alone and some with a group. I guess it may be different if you already have a mate. I’ve had buddies mention inviting the ladies along and we laughed, “bro, we’re here to get away from the wives/girl friends, get a break from our responsibilities and have some fun.” I’ve brought my wife along on activities and she complained the whole time. I thought, “holy fuk, what was I thinking?”. Not every minute of the day needs to involve the presence of a woman. Women like to talk, men like to do. i’d rather bomb down a trail in the Santa Cruz mountains then listen to the current female friend group drama. Idk, some guys have this notion that once you get a woman you’re gonna be fuking non stop like rabbits. You should have hobbies that enrich your life and bring you joy. If a woman is there for some of it, then cool.Golf, hunting, fishing, wood working, traveling, hiking, running, weight training, reading...self improvement
i prioritize my hobbies and self improvement over hanging with females. She comes along for the journey and when I have a free evening will hang with her...
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I think it is a good idea for all men to engage in some hobbies. The personal enrichment aspect of hobbies can provide talking points during pickups and on 1st/2nd dates. The hobbies themselves are not likely to lead to dates, but they are useful for male friendships. Male friendships are often hobby based. It can be a good idea to combine your hobbies into your male friendship time.I think hobbies should be for personal enjoyment/enrichment only.
I cringe at the (blue pill/boomer) advice that "You're gonna meet someone while you're just enjoying your hobby." It's possible, but I wouldn't put money on it.
This is 100% accurate in my mating environment experiences as well.women don't really care about "compatibility" in the context of having common interests/hobbies. Attraction is king. Having common interests without solid sexual attraction is called friendzone.
What if your hobby is SexpatMaxxing?What interesting "hobbies" do you guys actually have? Trains sets? Medieval roleplay? Hobbies are bullchit things single men do when they dont have girls to chill with or they are butthurt about a girl.
Not necessarily, not everyone is the same. I've gone without intimate female company for multiple years now.And here's the thing about being without something for too long: Eventually you need "interest."
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.