"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Hit on Servers

LeonSK

Don Juan
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I go to this restaurant like everyday. Yesterday I spotted a hot server that I can't resist. The only thing I worry is if she refuses me, it would become awkward to go back to that restaurant. Any opinions?

Do you guys hit on servers? Any particular advice?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Demonpenz

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It's only awkward if you make it awkward. Be careful not to be that wussy who is only able to talk to hired guns.
 

DonJuanit0

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I just wanna ask something really obvious, cause I've done it before, and yes she rejected me in a way and I went back there several times having fun even with her (not as I wanted though).

Why would it really feel awkward going back there even if she rejected you?


I know you will feel like it, but ask yourself, why is it awkward? You just tried for something, you are better than most of men who do nothing.

I'd say go for it and even if it fails, you are the bigger man, trying and still doesn't get hurt if it fails!
 

Omerta

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She gets asked out all the time. You're going to need to DHV hard.. if it fails it will only be awkward if you attach your ego to it. There is much more into the situation than just a measure of how awesome you are.

It will only be awkward for you if you let it and be in-direct during your 'approach'.
 

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
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I think it's one of the hardest number grabs to do. Hot waitresses get hit on all day and they have a knee-jerk, canned reaction to it. Hey, try and see what happens. Prepare for it mentally, and next time you go in make like nothing happened.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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LeonSK

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Talked to her yesterday. Good conversation. However when I asked if she wants to hang out, she came very close to me and told me quietly she just got out of a serious relationship and was in some strange mode. So I gave her my number and told her to contact me when she's ready. Overall not awkward at all, haha~ I think I can go back to that restaurant and it will be cool. Thanks guys for encouraging me!

Haven't heard anything yet. Decide to forget about her for now and keep hitting more girls.
 

skinnyguy

Master Don Juan
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Umm she won't call you. 1) you're some guy at her restaurant and 2) she's hot and just got out of a relationship.

Waitresses are tough. Hitting on any girl while she is working is tough.
 
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