"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Hilarious Concept

The Forms

Senior Don Juan
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So the new girl I'm seeing is really into emo music. trust me, I don't quite get it either.

Anyhow, her birthday is coming up, so I decided I'd try to get her an emo CD that is better than the crap she's listening to now. So I decided to find an emo message board to get ideas on what to get her.

Then I saw something that made me laugh out loud:

The emo forum has a section for dating advice!

Just the concept of that makes me laugh. Boys who cut themselves and cry about their lives asking other kids who cut themselves and cry about their lives how to meet chicks. I bet they write poetry for their oneitis and cut when she tells him she loves him. . . as a friend.

Hilarious!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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g g g unit

Senior Don Juan
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Mar 27, 2005
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:crackup: can you link up to it thats something i have to see!!!
 
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