High stakes situation- Have you been here?

[Checkmate12]

Alright here' the background: Last week I got tired of going on all these dates with girls that I know I don't want to end up with, so I asked out the one girl I could think of who makes me weak at the knees and turns me into a stutterer. She's one of the most gorgeous girls I know, and has an amazing personality, and a solid family as well. Well she said yes, with no hesitation. We went to a movie which went well, but I made no moves cause she gave me no signals. Then I took her back to her house expecting to just drop her off, but instead she sits in my truck and just keeps talking to me... a couple hours pass of us talking and she straight up asks me "so what are your intentions tonight? are we just friends or are you wanting to test the water?".. My mind was blown.

Of course I want to test the waters. So we take the conversation to her back porch and continue talking until 4am, all the while she props her legs up on me and starts holding hands. And we talked a decent amount about what things would be like if we were to start "talking". She wants to take things slowly, she's only ever been in one serious relationship which she was hurt very badly. She tells me she has butterflies and is excited to talk to me tomorrow.

So yesterday (which was the day after the date), I text her around 2pm and we have a mediocre conversation throughout the day. I tell her goodnight w/ no mention of hanging out again. She says goodnight.. a few minutes later she asks me what time I get off work cause she wanted me to come by. Unfortunately the time didn't work. I counteroffered with another day but she was busy that day. I was the last to text her (Im assuming she fell asleep). Today is Monday and she leaves for London on Thursday for a 10 day trip. I want to see her before then just so Ill be fresh in her mind throughout the trip. But she hasn't texted back since last night and I want to be a bit of a challenge.

Should I wait until she texts me, assuming she will? Or do I talk to her again at some point if she never replies? She wont be able to text in London. The stakes are very high here because my interest level in this girl is through the freaking roof. Somebody help me form a gameplan here!!

 

[NewToTheGame]

I have recently being dealing with my own "high stakes" girl, and although she had interest, like your girl definitely does, it went pretty badly. Reason being, I was too nervous, over-analytical, and verbalized my feelings instead of acting upon them.

I'm not saying it won't work out for you, but you clearly have her on a pedestal. Your interest is "through the roof" as you say. This can have the effect of lowering your value in her eyes.

When I was in high school, there was a girl a couple years younger that EVERYONE wanted. Absolute stunner. She currently is acting on Broadway. I knew she had a thing for me, but I played aloof with her. One day she started flirting with me, and this ended up leading to a four-hour phone conversation about how much we liked each other. This turned into phone sex. I was ecstatic.

And completely crushed when the next day she told me "let's just be friends" and that she wasn't ready for a relationship. A month later she started dating another guy and that lasted for years.

The point is, I was no longer a challenge to her. She knew how bad I wanted her, and being a gorgeous girl, this lowered my value, as compared to other guys that she wasn't sure how they felt about her.

Anyway, I'm not saying all this is going to happen to you. I don't know this girl. But with a lot of females, once you put it all on the line, they lose interest, quickly.

If I were you, I wouldn't text her at all. She knows you were the last to text and hasn't responded. If she responds to your text before she leaves, try to meet up with her, and just make a move. Do not repeat my mistake and talk about it to death.

If she doesn't get back to you, I would not contact her while she's gone. Give her a couple of days after she gets back, and re-initiate. For the sole purpose of meeting up and making a move.

In the meantime, try to see yourself as the prize. Think about your own good qualities. Why you are a good catch. Try to adopt the attitude that if it happens, great, if it doesn't, oh well.

Best of luck!

 

[Checkmate12]

NewToTheGame, that sounds like some solid advice my man. I appreciate you taking the time to reply. I've already been slightly guilty of revealing too much to this girl. That night I got all caught up in her seduction and she revealed feelings to me which caused me to reveal what I feel was a little too much to her. I definitely hurt my challenge status but it seems she's still interested so that's good. I'm generally a very confident guy and have no trouble landing girls, she is just 'that girl', ya know. The thought of her not replying and waiting until she's back from her trip makes me cringe a little bit, but hey, I guess that's just part of it.

 

[Cremasta]

Of course I want to test the waters. So we take the conversation to her back porch and continue talking until 4am, all the while she props her legs up on me and starts holding hands. And we talked a decent amount about what things would be like if we were to start "talking". She wants to take things slowly, she's only ever been in one serious relationship which she was hurt very badly. She tells me she has butterflies and is excited to talk to me tomorrow.

Move Checkmate! Move! Move! Move! She couldn't have made it more obvious unless... actually no, she DID put up the neon sign in lights saying she wants you. This is the kind of thing I look back on and cringe thinking "Why the hell didn't I make a move then?".

You like her, she likes you. In case you hadn't noticed, that is a good sign.

Stay in contact with this girl. Do not blow up her phone or stalk her, but try to see her at least once before she heads off to London. Use any stupid excuse if you need it, like "You seem a bit disorganised, so I thought I come around and make sure you're packed properly." I'd suggest you actually see her off at the airport if you can manage it. She will probably be emotional about leaving even for such a short amount of time, and women just lap that shyt up.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Read your post, as Newtothegame alluded to, not a big fan of staying up talking all night. Not at the beginning anyways.

If that happens again, cut the convo short and take off.

 

[Checkmate12]

@Cremasta: its funny you say that cause I look back now without her beauty fogging my brain and clearly see that she did everything short of straight up telling me to make a move. haha I will definitely try to see her before she leaves, I think that is a critical move. Keep me fresh in her mind on her trip.

@Peaks&Valleys: that's solid advice. My donjuan instincts were telling me to get out of there the entire time. Next time I will definitely dip out a little early.

So to all of you smooth guys; she basically knows where I stand now in regards to my intentions w/ her, is there any way to regain some mystery?

 

[TheGambino]

let a girl ALWAYS guess about how you feel about her, especially when shes very attractive. i made my mistakes and all of them were showing too much of my feelings towards her too early. cant give u advice coz i dont want to blow it for you but the above is what ive learned...

 

[Checkmate12]

I said earlier that she straight up asked me what my intentions were. Unfortunately I didn't come up w/ anything smooth or mysterious, I just told her. Mistake. We got to talking about it in text a little bit and she said something to the effect of

"Im glad I asked because if not I wouldn't have found out and I would have gotten out of your truck and wondered your thoughts. But now I know... and I like it."

Whatttt theee heckkk might I say to that? Suggestions anyone??

 

[Cremasta]

Whatttt theee heckkk might I say to that? Suggestions anyone??

How about "See you in 10 minutes." and get the fyck over there asap.

Just so I'm clear. You don't need to do anything to raise her interest. Her interest is well and truly raised! Time to go and collect your winnings.

Well done!