High specs but zero matches - Dating Apps

[Cheeky_James]

Nah bro...that last sentence is just cope..

An absolute Chris Hempsworth- esqeu Chad , being a ....laywer / über entrepreneur/ baller with status can have terrible pictures and still get 1000x the amount of dates that average men get..

This is also proven multiple times . There been experiments where they let Chad say the most vile shyte and yet women will go. I wished you were right but unfortunately facts don't lie..women ain't that stupid...thats like saying a fat woman with good pictures will do better than a hb9,5 Stacy with bad pictures...

Again; if the solution is that simple you will be a billionaire as MILLIONS of men are desperately looking for a " logical solution ". If the anwer was "just another bio or just rearrange your pictures" then we wouldn't even have this convo right now..

trust and believe …1000%

 

[BaronOfHair]

i will continue to maintain that the primary reason 90% of men struggle on dating apps is because they have awful photos. an average looking guy with really good photos will do better than a chad with bad photos.

Lots of us LOOK cruddy in our daily lives to begin with

The photos we post online are just a reflection of this. As pointed out elsewhere

No one hooks up publicly anymore

Literally just back in europe from 2 weeks in the US. At a bar in Nashville early hours a cute little blond came right up to me started a conversation, held onto my hand a made out with me infront her entire friend group. At a music festival in kentucky the next week a 21 year old came right...

www.sosuave.net

As relatively recent as the late 2000s, pundits and commentators were bemoaning the fact that men had "TOO MANY" sexual partners. It's no coincidence that, at that juncture in history, relatively few fellas believed it was cool to rock a neckbeard and cartoon Ts, dropped over a beer gunt that could easily soak up The Pacific Ocean

 

[Cheeky_James]

A bunch of dudes , trying to crack online dating, yesterday..

 

[Cheeky_James]

but in those tinder "experiments" the Chad also has great photos (high quality, good lighting, good locations, social proof, etc) - you never see them use some weird autistic selfies in crappy lighting in his bedroom. In fact they usually get the photos from public places like instagram influencers or models, who naturally will have good pictures since that's all they do.

 

[Bigpapa]

Lots of us LOOK cruddy in our daily lives to begin with

The photos we post online are just a reflection of this. As pointed out elsewhere

No one hooks up publicly anymore

Literally just back in europe from 2 weeks in the US. At a bar in Nashville early hours a cute little blond came right up to me started a conversation, held onto my hand a made out with me infront her entire friend group. At a music festival in kentucky the next week a 21 year old came right...

www.sosuave.net

As relatively recent as the late 2000s, pundits and commentators were bemoaning the fact that men had "TOO MANY" sexual partners. It's no coincidence that, at that juncture in history, relatively few fellas believed it was cool to rock a neckbeard and cartoon Ts, dropped over a beer gunt that could easily soak up The Pacific Ocean

I think the difference is that till relatively recently,
Both men and women would marry relatively young and had quite a high proportion of marriages

Since sex outside of marriage was not really something to brag about, most of the hookups remained tabu

But I agree, now it went something to brag about one way or the other

even the pua movement, in the early 2000s, it was more about how to get a girlfriend / wife, rather than bragging about sleeping with X or Y amount of women

yeah, part of the pua movement mantra was that you have to meet some girls to maximize your chance to meet a girl that actually is nice and can have a healthy relationship with. But the idea was always to find really good partners

 

[UK manc]

but in those tinder "experiments" the Chad also has great photos (high quality, good lighting, good locations, social proof, etc) - you never see them use some weird autistic selfies in crappy lighting in his bedroom. In fact they usually get the photos from public places like instagram influencers or models, who naturally will have good pictures since that's all they do.

Once you've seen it, you notice it everywhere: every day when I'm out and about, I'm clocking people having "professional" dating photos took of them outside coffee shops, by the river etc...

 

[Gamisch]

Lots of us LOOK cruddy in our daily lives to begin with

The photos we post online are just a reflection of this. As pointed out elsewhere

No one hooks up publicly anymore

Literally just back in europe from 2 weeks in the US. At a bar in Nashville early hours a cute little blond came right up to me started a conversation, held onto my hand a made out with me infront her entire friend group. At a music festival in kentucky the next week a 21 year old came right...

www.sosuave.net

As relatively recent as the late 2000s, pundits and commentators were bemoaning the fact that men had "TOO MANY" sexual partners. It's no coincidence that, at that juncture in history, relatively few fellas believed it was cool to rock a neckbeard and cartoon Ts, dropped over a beer gunt that could easily soak up The Pacific Ocean

Razor sharp observation ,powerfull due to its simplicity but yet so oftentimes overlooked and denied..

We ARE we we eat. If anything, professional photos are a redflag. .

Here's what online dating looks like to most men; Its like leaving your house all messy and dirty, coincidentally bagging a hottie who wants to come to.yoir house and now having five minutes to clean your entire house. You won't be able to "hide" the flaws that are going on.

No social circle,
weak friends,
no noteworthy job,
no flashy vacations,
no muscles,
no fly clothes,
Clothes from 1997
no fly whip,
an insecure doubtful laugh,
receding hairline .
Fat stomach

Even if angel Gabriel himself takes your photos it won't help.

Thats why I stated that a "Chad " can have a vague low resolution picture of himself taking a shyte and he will still 1000x outmatch the average chump.

That's why my advice is ; take a break from ( online) dating if thats you. Rebuild yourself and come back stronger.

 

[Cheeky_James]

This one cracked me up
This one cracked me up

 

[BaronOfHair]

No social circle,
weak friends,
no noteworthy job,
no flashy vacations,
no muscles,
no fly clothes,
Clothes from 1997
no fly whip,
an insecure doubtful laugh,
receding hairline .
Fat stomach

Even if angel Gabriel himself takes your photos it won't help.

Thats why I stated that a "Chad " can have a vague low resolution picture of himself taking a shyte and he will still 1000x outmatch the average chump.

That's why my advice is ; take a break from ( online) dating if thats you. Rebuild yourself and come back stronger.

OLD can be similar to enrolling in martial arts class, then mistaking that for expertise on self-defense, even though one hasn't

-Learned to effectively operate a firearm. Preferably handguns and rifles both

-Developed situational awareness, up to and including learning where the rough parts of town are, wherever one is at

-Educated themselves on the legal parameters for SD

-Gone to work on their own mindset, so that they're neither emotionally volatile nor prone to freezing up, once conflict erupts


A single tool is of limited use, when that's ALL a fella has in his toolbox. OP is sweating not getting swipes online, when I suspect he's probably not even sparking attraction with the checkout girl at Safeway

 

[Bigpapa]

OLD can be similar to enrolling in martial arts class, then mistaking that for expertise on self-defense, even though one hasn't

-Learned to effectively operate a firearm. Preferably handguns and rifles both

-Developed situational awareness, up to and including learning where the rough parts of town are, wherever one is at

-Educated themselves on the legal parameters for SD

-Gone to work on their own mindset, so that they're neither emotionally volatile nor prone to freezing up, once conflict erupts


A single tool is of limited use, when that's ALL a fella has in his toolbox. OP is sweating not getting swipes online, when I suspect he's probably not even sparking attraction with the checkout girl at Safeway

I think that sometimes we are extremely harsh with ourselves and with others

I remember 4/5 years ago I would get 100 likes on tinder on a weekly basis. Most were at least meh girls

installed tinder like 1 year ago, got only 3 likes in 1 month, and those 3 were from women so ugly that I could not even imagine that a woman could look like that

and all of this despite having better pictures

all dating apps are on decline for a couple of years, so maybe a big proportion of the results most guys see in the last couple of years maybe has to do mainly with other things like the apps becoming a dumpster fire + decrease in activity of women

also the greed of the apps most likely plays a significant role in the really bad results most guys see, I suspect that having gold or platinum subscriptions does not cut it anymore. You need to use those boosts

 

[BaronOfHair]

@Bigpapa "and all of this despite having better pictures"

You're assessment of these pictures may not be especially accurate

 

[Bigpapa]

@Bigpapa "and all of this despite having better pictures"

You're assessment of these pictures may not be especially accurate

Big time difference, and 100% positive one

Initially I was thinking the same like you so I deleted my tinder Account and Started adjusting pictures with AI and putting a lot of emphasis to not look AI generated at all. Took me like 1 week to adjust properly the pictures. No change

Kept it only for 1 week with the AI adjusted photos, and got 4 likes ( from again horrible looking women . 0/10 ) in the first 24h and then nothing

at the same time, in real life, things did not really changed at all. On the contrary, I feel that things work way better till getting the phone number / instagram

but after that I see a lot of frame wars, which I rarely experienced till like 2/3 years ago. Even with girls that you sleep with, that till 2/3 years ago more or less were a sure thing that you will see them again or be on their good side ( at least for a while )

even if things go well, till recent years girls would start pushing for a relationship themselves. Now it seems that the burden of wanting a relationship is put on the guy shoulder

to be fair, I am very confused on what is happening, and most importantly how to handle it in the most efficient way.

but for sure when it comes to dating apps, makes no sense to focus too much on it no matter if you are an average guy or the chadest of them all

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Here's what online dating looks like to most men; Its like leaving your house all messy and dirty, coincidentally bagging a hottie who wants to come to.yoir house and now having five minutes to clean your entire house. You won't be able to "hide" the flaws that are going on.

No social circle,
weak friends,
no noteworthy job,
no flashy vacations,
no muscles,
no fly clothes,
Clothes from 1997
no fly whip,
an insecure doubtful laugh,
receding hairline .
Fat stomach

Even if angel Gabriel himself takes your photos it won't help.

Thats why I stated that a "Chad " can have a vague low resolution picture of himself taking a shyte and he will still 1000x outmatch the average chump.

that's why i said an average looking guy, not an average guy. an average looking guy who has rizz, style, social proof/preselection, wealth, status, etc can absolutely slay on dating apps if he has pics that showcase this. showing real (not fabricated) preselection alone can bump a 5/10 man to a 9/10 instantly.

my friend had a pic recently that showcased this, i can ask him for it if ya'll really want to see it, it was a pic of him laying down in the bow of a nice looking boat/yacht, wearing stylish and expensive clothes and sunglasses, with hot women in the edge frame you cannot fully see. he also seemed extremely relaxed and nonchalant, like he didn't give a fck about them. that picture alone creates incredible intrigue and preselection that will make women's gina tingle. yall understimate the power of photos like that.

maybe i can't make a comparison to how well a low-effort Chad would do in comparison, but i will maintain that the the qualities i mentioned are extremely powerful. but the sad reality is that Chads are far more likely to have all of those other traits anyway since being extraordinarily good looking generally causes the world to fall into your lap, so naturally they will show things like wealth and preselection in their photos anyway, but i don't think people are acknowledging all the invididual components that go into this.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Because ( credit to @We_ArE_VeNOM who said this) ; men like to use OLD because they DON'T like rejections.

Dude in his bio specifically says he " doesn’t like to approach women in bars and clubs".

So OLD gives the ILLUSION of not having to deal with rejection. But heres the conundrum; after swiping right on thousands of cute women and getting

no likes ,matches ,conversations and especially no dates and even more specifically no second dates and /or sex / relationships

Truth be told.

 

[itouchyou]

Bro, its the overall vibe. You're presenting yourself like a resume mixed with fitness forum brag sheet. It pushes you into niche that gets very few swipes, even if you're objectively good looking gentleman. Your photos are the biggest issue. Mirror selfies, no smile, only two pics, age looks 16. 28, self-employed, real estate.

Women see low effort, cold, guarded, suspicious, probably lying, try hard, looks like a scam profile.

Your presentation makes you swipe repellent.

Your bio is working against you. It reads like someone is trying to manufacture an identity instead of just being a person.

Add warmth, authenticity, effort, social proof, relatability, emotional safety.

Not true.

The better looking you are, the less you need to put up. It's always chopped looking dudes that put a ton of effort into their pics and bios.

Women read high effort as low value. It only benefits the guy if he already appears high value to begin with.

We ARE we we eat. If anything, professional photos are a redflag. .

Thats why I stated that a "Chad " can have a vague low resolution picture of himself taking a shyte and he will still 1000x outmatch the average chump.

That's why my advice is ; take a break from ( online) dating if thats you. Rebuild yourself and come back stronger.

100%.. I literally have two pics on my profile and nothing more than my location in my bio. Pretty much every woman sends the first message. One of my pics is even blurry.

 

[Arete]

Not true.

The better looking you are, the less you need to put up. It's always chopped looking dudes that put a ton of effort into their pics and bios.

Women read high effort as low value. It only benefits the guy if he already appears high value to begin with.

100%.. I literally have two pics on my profile and nothing more than my location in my bio. Pretty much every woman sends the first message. One of my pics is even blurry.

Somehow, this feels insulting. There is NOT A SINGLE thing in life I don't put a ton of effort into.

In the real world I can count the times I had "not a chance" on my hands. And even that would probably be possible by dressing better. In person, there are barely any women that would instantly "swipe" left on me.

Words are cheap, but so are yours.

Here is a quote from this guy from another thread:

I'm an indian dude in the US in my late 30s; my hairline is still great but I've receded a bit in the temples and want to get it fixed. I think my frontal hairline needs less than a CM

Sorry if I doubt your such a slayer on dating apps.

I also want to make it clear, my strike zone is 18-23yo HB7 and upwards. HB6 only if she is my type ... as a 28yo dude.

If anyone wants to start the debate, whether I'm "aiming too high" or is just interested. Look up my "DJ Boot Camp Journal". Even if I'm a newbie and the most socially awkward person ever. It should be very clear that my looks are passable.

I started dating apps in a rush. Reason I did this was to not "overthink". But for once my habit would have been right. In hindsight, it would be better to first do my research and then slowly learn by experience like usual. It's dumb to make threads while still at the starting line.

If this sounds like I took it personally, that's because it is. Who are you to insult peoples efforts?

Even if angel Gabriel himself takes your photos it won't help.

Thats why I stated that a "Chad " can have a vague low resolution picture of himself taking a shyte and he will still 1000x outmatch the average chump.

That's why my advice is ; take a break from ( online) dating if thats you. Rebuild yourself and come back stronger.

Gamisch, I won't argue with someone that has already climbed the mountain I'm still looking up to. But I was under the impression you gave me this advice because I shouldn't waste time and energy on this.

Dating apps are apparently all about photos. What is stopping me making them look good and get matches? Again, I don't mean to be disrespectful. It just seems like really weak advice. You sound like this is impossible? It seems like this is either not the path you yourself took to success or you're losing your edge.

Even assuming match.com holds the monopoly shadow-banned me for whatever reason, what is stopping me from simply getting another phone number and starting fresh? The way I see it, this is totally doable and even easy if one puts the time into it.

And also, what is a "chad"? Aside from the obvious of being handsome, he also needs to be strong. Physically, mentally and financially. An over performer in all ways. Somehow, this discussion went to "A Chad is a very handsome dude." Again, what is stopping me from getting plastic surgery for that 10/10 realm? If looks are really all there is to it, why bother with improving the hard way?

The way I see it, plastic surgery is no different from getting prostitutes but with a better illusion.

I wanted to bring this to attention, because it makes no sense to overemphasize looks on a DJ forum.

I originally planned to postpone this indefinitely, but I would be lying if I said I don't feel competitive now. It's not the first time someone has told me I "can't do something" either.

yes. the fact that you'd have this as your first picture, let alone on your profile at all, tells me all your photos are bad.

i will continue to maintain that the primary reason 90% of men struggle on dating apps is because they have awful photos. an average looking guy with really good photos will do better than a chad with bad photos.

but in those tinder "experiments" the Chad also has great photos (high quality, good lighting, good locations, social proof, etc) - you never see them use some weird autistic selfies in crappy lighting in his bedroom. In fact they usually get the photos from public places like instagram influencers or models, who naturally will have good pictures since that's all they do.

Completely agree. Why are you back paddling after these posts? The counterargument that was used is questionable at best. Of course, "for a true 10/10 chad, it doesn't matter how pictures are taken." Water is wet.

Photos are artificial. Even the most average chump can get swiped to no end with some AI and Photoshop Magic. The rest is just leaving an impression in person. But your point, in essence, was about "getting matches", not "dealing with the aftermath". At the end of the day, it's literally just marketing.

This has taken comical proportion, suggesting one should give up on good photos because one didn't win the genetic lottery.

I don't understand how you get matches.

And with that we arrived at the conclussion:

• Pictures are everything on dating apps. Better make them good. Get matches. Figure the rest out later.
• Nobody cares about the bio

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Completely agree. Why are you back paddling after these posts? The counterargument that was used is questionable at best. Of course, "for a true 10/10 chad, it doesn't matter how pictures are taken." Water is wet.

Photos are artificial. Even the most average chump can get swiped to no end with some AI and Photoshop Magic. The rest is just leaving an impression in person. But your point, in essence, was about "getting matches", not "dealing with the aftermath". At the end of the day, it's literally just marketing.

I wasn't backpedaling I was making that point to show why this causes confusion. And I wouldn't say that a Chads photos will automatically be good no matter what, a Chad could take photos that are so bad that he would cease to be a Chad even if he was in the top 1% of looks.

The part people are missing in the case of these tinder experiments specifically is that they're getting the photos from POPULAR public places, they probably are literally googling "male model" or "male influencer", and using the first results, which basically guarantees the guy will be confident, popular, wealthy, nice clothes, social proof, and a plethora of professional photos to pick from which showcase all of these qualities...

I bet if someone did another tinder experiment where they sourced the photos of a Chad from somewhere obscure place like a 4chan thread where the guy was some autistic/anti social doomer/gooner weirdo, the results would be VERY different.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Has anyone asked him what his profiles actually look like? He can private message any of us his profile and show us what it really looks like. I don't do dating apps anymore but I need a visual.