"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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High specs but zero matches - Dating Apps

Cheeky_James

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Nah bro...that last sentence is just cope..

An absolute Chris Hempsworth- esqeu Chad , being a ....laywer / über entrepreneur/ baller with status can have terrible pictures and still get 1000x the amount of dates that average men get..

This is also proven multiple times . There been experiments where they let Chad say the most vile shyte and yet women will go. I wished you were right but unfortunately facts don't lie..women ain't that stupid...thats like saying a fat woman with good pictures will do better than a hb9,5 Stacy with bad pictures...

Again; if the solution is that simple you will be a billionaire as MILLIONS of men are desperately looking for a " logical solution ". If the anwer was "just another bio or just rearrange your pictures" then we wouldn't even have this convo right now..
trust and believe …1000% :up::up::up:
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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BaronOfHair

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i will continue to maintain that the primary reason 90% of men struggle on dating apps is because they have awful photos. an average looking guy with really good photos will do better than a chad with bad photos.
Lots of us LOOK cruddy in our daily lives to begin with

The photos we post online are just a reflection of this. As pointed out elsewhere

As relatively recent as the late 2000s, pundits and commentators were bemoaning the fact that men had "TOO MANY" sexual partners. It's no coincidence that, at that juncture in history, relatively few fellas believed it was cool to rock a neckbeard and cartoon Ts, dropped over a beer gunt that could easily soak up The Pacific Ocean
 
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Cheeky_James

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but in those tinder "experiments" the Chad also has great photos (high quality, good lighting, good locations, social proof, etc) - you never see them use some weird autistic selfies in crappy lighting in his bedroom. In fact they usually get the photos from public places like instagram influencers or models, who naturally will have good pictures since that's all they do.
IMG_1512.jpeg
 

Bigpapa

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Lots of us LOOK cruddy in our daily lives to begin with

The photos we post online are just a reflection of this. As pointed out elsewhere

As relatively recent as the late 2000s, pundits and commentators were bemoaning the fact that men had "TOO MANY" sexual partners. It's no coincidence that, at that juncture in history, relatively few fellas believed it was cool to rock a neckbeard and cartoon Ts, dropped over a beer gunt that could easily soak up The Pacific Ocean
I think the difference is that till relatively recently,
Both men and women would marry relatively young and had quite a high proportion of marriages

Since sex outside of marriage was not really something to brag about, most of the hookups remained tabu

But I agree, now it went something to brag about one way or the other

even the pua movement, in the early 2000s, it was more about how to get a girlfriend / wife, rather than bragging about sleeping with X or Y amount of women

yeah, part of the pua movement mantra was that you have to meet some girls to maximize your chance to meet a girl that actually is nice and can have a healthy relationship with. But the idea was always to find really good partners
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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UK manc

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but in those tinder "experiments" the Chad also has great photos (high quality, good lighting, good locations, social proof, etc) - you never see them use some weird autistic selfies in crappy lighting in his bedroom. In fact they usually get the photos from public places like instagram influencers or models, who naturally will have good pictures since that's all they do.
Once you've seen it, you notice it everywhere: every day when I'm out and about, I'm clocking people having "professional" dating photos took of them outside coffee shops, by the river etc...
 

Gamisch

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Lots of us LOOK cruddy in our daily lives to begin with

The photos we post online are just a reflection of this. As pointed out elsewhere

As relatively recent as the late 2000s, pundits and commentators were bemoaning the fact that men had "TOO MANY" sexual partners. It's no coincidence that, at that juncture in history, relatively few fellas believed it was cool to rock a neckbeard and cartoon Ts, dropped over a beer gunt that could easily soak up The Pacific Ocean
Razor sharp observation ,powerfull due to its simplicity but yet so oftentimes overlooked and denied..

We ARE we we eat. If anything, professional photos are a redflag. .

Here's what online dating looks like to most men; Its like leaving your house all messy and dirty, coincidentally bagging a hottie who wants to come to.yoir house and now having five minutes to clean your entire house. You won't be able to "hide" the flaws that are going on.

No social circle,
weak friends,
no noteworthy job,
no flashy vacations,
no muscles,
no fly clothes,
Clothes from 1997
no fly whip,
an insecure doubtful laugh,
receding hairline .
Fat stomach

Even if angel Gabriel himself takes your photos it won't help.

Thats why I stated that a "Chad " can have a vague low resolution picture of himself taking a shyte and he will still 1000x outmatch the average chump.

That's why my advice is ; take a break from ( online) dating if thats you. Rebuild yourself and come back stronger.
 

BaronOfHair

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No social circle,
weak friends,
no noteworthy job,
no flashy vacations,
no muscles,
no fly clothes,
Clothes from 1997
no fly whip,
an insecure doubtful laugh,
receding hairline .
Fat stomach

Even if angel Gabriel himself takes your photos it won't help.

Thats why I stated that a "Chad " can have a vague low resolution picture of himself taking a shyte and he will still 1000x outmatch the average chump.

That's why my advice is ; take a break from ( online) dating if thats you. Rebuild yourself and come back stronger.
OLD can be similar to enrolling in martial arts class, then mistaking that for expertise on self-defense, even though one hasn't

-Learned to effectively operate a firearm. Preferably handguns and rifles both

-Developed situational awareness, up to and including learning where the rough parts of town are, wherever one is at

-Educated themselves on the legal parameters for SD

-Gone to work on their own mindset, so that they're neither emotionally volatile nor prone to freezing up, once conflict erupts


A single tool is of limited use, when that's ALL a fella has in his toolbox. OP is sweating not getting swipes online, when I suspect he's probably not even sparking attraction with the checkout girl at Safeway
 

Bigpapa

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OLD can be similar to enrolling in martial arts class, then mistaking that for expertise on self-defense, even though one hasn't

-Learned to effectively operate a firearm. Preferably handguns and rifles both

-Developed situational awareness, up to and including learning where the rough parts of town are, wherever one is at

-Educated themselves on the legal parameters for SD

-Gone to work on their own mindset, so that they're neither emotionally volatile nor prone to freezing up, once conflict erupts


A single tool is of limited use, when that's ALL a fella has in his toolbox. OP is sweating not getting swipes online, when I suspect he's probably not even sparking attraction with the checkout girl at Safeway
I think that sometimes we are extremely harsh with ourselves and with others

I remember 4/5 years ago I would get 100 likes on tinder on a weekly basis. Most were at least meh girls

installed tinder like 1 year ago, got only 3 likes in 1 month, and those 3 were from women so ugly that I could not even imagine that a woman could look like that

and all of this despite having better pictures

all dating apps are on decline for a couple of years, so maybe a big proportion of the results most guys see in the last couple of years maybe has to do mainly with other things like the apps becoming a dumpster fire + decrease in activity of women

also the greed of the apps most likely plays a significant role in the really bad results most guys see, I suspect that having gold or platinum subscriptions does not cut it anymore. You need to use those boosts
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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BaronOfHair

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@Bigpapa "and all of this despite having better pictures"

You're assessment of these pictures may not be especially accurate
 

Bigpapa

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@Bigpapa "and all of this despite having better pictures"

You're assessment of these pictures may not be especially accurate
Big time difference, and 100% positive one

Initially I was thinking the same like you so I deleted my tinder Account and Started adjusting pictures with AI and putting a lot of emphasis to not look AI generated at all. Took me like 1 week to adjust properly the pictures. No change

Kept it only for 1 week with the AI adjusted photos, and got 4 likes ( from again horrible looking women . 0/10 ) in the first 24h and then nothing

at the same time, in real life, things did not really changed at all. On the contrary, I feel that things work way better till getting the phone number / instagram

but after that I see a lot of frame wars, which I rarely experienced till like 2/3 years ago. Even with girls that you sleep with, that till 2/3 years ago more or less were a sure thing that you will see them again or be on their good side ( at least for a while )

even if things go well, till recent years girls would start pushing for a relationship themselves. Now it seems that the burden of wanting a relationship is put on the guy shoulder

to be fair, I am very confused on what is happening, and most importantly how to handle it in the most efficient way.

but for sure when it comes to dating apps, makes no sense to focus too much on it no matter if you are an average guy or the chadest of them all
 
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