High specs but zero matches - Dating Apps

[Bigpapa]

I agree mostly, but IMO meeting women outside the apps can garner far better results. I can only speak for myself, but the women I've pulled in person are far better quality (not just looks, but personality etc.) than the ones I met on apps. Heck, a girl I dated not long ago (met via social circle) told me she woulda swiped left me on a dating app

yeah, same experience with girls outside the apps

but it is not a big enough difference unfortunatelyb

one thing that I struggle with is that I do not really understand what caused this big change in women behavior in such a short span

because incels, red pill, social media , feminism, apps , etc was also before

 

[Clockwerk50]

The issue that I see at the moment with women is that nothing really makes any sense, and it can easily go from things going well to 180s turns without you as a guy doing anything wrong

and I do not know any guy ( no matter how good looking or top of the top he is ) that does not goes through the same thing

so when I hear guys complaining that the issue is that women want the top 20% and for them is super easy, I just laugh and think they are id10ts because they have no idea what they talk about and the mental fatigue that you have to go through these days with women

I do know one thing though, is that you need to push for escalation as soon as possible and be 70-80% sexual and like 20-30% into rapport building and escalate to sex as soon and as much as possible. If you go on the old way with 2-3 dates, it will rarely yield the results you expect

I think that the main reason for this women behavior stems from the fact that they are afraid of getting feelings + seeing that you are not easy to be tamed, which results in seeing you as a threat . That’s why I think sex either happens fast ( before you are seen as a threat ) either will not happen at all

My take is that when you factor in that women are rarely single in quite the same way men are, and that high-value people tend to get snatched up quickly, you realize that not only do you have a low margin for error, but you're also competing with other men in a race to the finish line. Your window of opportunity is also smaller than you might think.

I've always operated under the assumption that there's usually another guy somewhere in the picture, so realistically, you're competing with him for her attention and, for lack of a better word, trying to steal her away. The problem is that these men will often do whatever they can to keep her. Unless they give her reasons to become dissatisfied with the relationship, she has little incentive to walk away from an established relationship and deal with the uncertainty, pain, and opportunity cost of starting over with someone new.

So the game has always been about creating enough attraction and dissatisfaction with her current options that she sees you as the better alternative. The challenge is that you're competing against established relationships, emotional investments, and other men who are actively trying to maintain their position for the reasons I mentioned above.

 

[Bigpapa]

My take is that when you factor in that women are rarely single in quite the same way men are, and that high-value people tend to get snatched up quickly, you realize that not only do you have a low margin for error, but you're also competing with other men in a race to the finish line. Your window of opportunity is also smaller than you might think.

I've always operated under the assumption that there's usually another guy somewhere in the picture, so realistically, you're competing with him for her attention. The problem is that these men will often do whatever they can to keep her. Unless they give her reasons to become dissatisfied with the relationship, she has little incentive to walk away from an established relationship and deal with the uncertainty, pain, and opportunity cost of starting over with someone new.

So the game has always been about creating enough attraction and dissatisfaction with her current options that she sees you as the better alternative. The challenge is that you're competing against established relationships, emotional investments, and other men who are actively trying to maintain their position for the reasons I mentioned above.

totally agree with you, but this would have been the case also prior to Covid

now I see a lot of bullsh1t like this becoming the norm, while prior to Covid would have been more a realistic but not that probable scenario

so I do not think is because every woman has some guy in her life, unless 5 years ago were more girls whom did not had a guy in their life in any capacity at all, and now almost all have them . Very improbable that do be the case

 

[Jason9]

I've been on bumble and hinge dating apps and the women there are superficial, most likely judgemental.

I got loads of unattractive women match me, they will go for anything above their looks.

 

[Clockwerk50]

totally agree with you, but this would have been the case also prior to Covid

now I see a lot of bullsh1t like this becoming the norm, while prior to Covid would have been more a realistic but not that probable scenario

so I do not think is because every woman has some guy in her life, unless 5 years ago were more girls whom did not had a guy in their life in any capacity at all, and now almost all have them . Very improbable that do be the case

Things that have changed since COVID include social media, dating apps, larger social circles, marketing and entertainment, political stances, changing priorities, remote work, better commodities at home, different generation, and the ability to meet people over a much wider geographical area. All of these make it easier to keep multiple options open, seek attention and validation, and move on to someone else.

All things being equal, you'd think the desire to pursue someone would be mutual. Yet, for some reason, it seems women are less likely to chase men and, in some cases, more selective about their choices.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Is it the mirror selfie as first picture?

yes. the fact that you'd have this as your first picture, let alone on your profile at all, tells me all your photos are bad.

i will continue to maintain that the primary reason 90% of men struggle on dating apps is because they have awful photos. an average looking guy with really good photos will do better than a chad with bad photos.

 

[Gamisch]

an average looking guy with really good photos will do better than a chad with bad photos.

Nah bro...that last sentence is just cope..

An absolute Chris Hempsworth- esqeu Chad , being a ....laywer / über entrepreneur/ baller with status can have terrible pictures and still get 1000x the amount of dates that average men get..

This is also proven multiple times . There been experiments where they let Chad say the most vile shyte and yet women will go. I wished you were right but unfortunately facts don't lie..women ain't that stupid...thats like saying a fat woman with good pictures will do better than a hb9,5 Stacy with bad pictures...

Again; if the solution is that simple you will be a billionaire as MILLIONS of men are desperately looking for a " logical solution ". If the anwer was "just another bio or just rearrange your pictures" then we wouldn't even have this convo right now..

 

[Identikit_Radiohead]

@Gamisch

hmmm yes Aitana Bonmati ,a 28 year old . super fit professional footballer that plays for FC Barcelona and the Spanish national team…

could she possibly be elite and unobtainable for some 48 yo below-average looking dude..?

And is she rated a 5/10 smv woman?

hmmmm…
it’s a hard one !

I'm not talking about her as individual - the original Aitana Bonmati, i was just using her looks as an example. Of course a top class female athlete that plays for Barcelona and Spain's women's team will have 10000x of admirers and able to date other rich high status male athletes if she wants to. Are you being obtuse?

I was talking about your typical local woman, who has similar SMV to her without makeup (which is a 5/10), who isn't rich, she works at a cashier in a shop, who works out 2x a week in a gym to keep slim/healthy weight, doesn't have a upwardly mobile job, has normal hobbies, she lives in a basic house or apartment etc. - DOES an average woman like this get with top 5% to 10% Chad-looking 6ft2 Hunks of men?

Is it impossible for a local 5/10 man to date such a woman, with all else being equal (he works out, has a job, has a house/apartment, hobbies etc)?

 

[Bigpapa]

Things that have changed since COVID include social media, dating apps, larger social circles, marketing and entertainment, political stances, changing priorities, remote work, better commodities at home, different generation, and the ability to meet people over a much wider geographical area. All of these make it easier to keep multiple options open, seek attention and validation, and move on to someone else.

All things being equal, you'd think the desire to pursue someone would be mutual. Yet, for some reason, it seems women are less likely to chase men and, in some cases, more selective about their choices.

all of what you added were already there, except for maybe remote work

but really doubt that remote work would change things on this side of the coin

 

[Clockwerk50]

all of what you added were already there, except for maybe remote work

but really doubt that remote work would change things on this side of the coin

I think you're underestimating how much things changed after COVID. The number of influencers has exploded, social media has become more ingrained in people's lives, platforms like TikTok have grown significantly in popularity, and right-wing political views have gained traction in certain countries. Services like Uber Eats have made staying home easier, remote work has changed how people socialize, and a new generation has entered the dating market.

People are used to receiving instant gratification and having everything available at their fingertips. Just because these things existed before COVID doesn't mean they haven't evolved.

 

[Bigpapa]

People are used to receiving instant gratification and having everything available at their fingertips. Just because these things existed before COVID doesn't mean they haven't evolved.

yeah, I agree but it is not big change enough to explain all of this as more or less I think the peak for all of them was before Covid

Plus I do not really deal that much with the new generation, like 25 and bellow mainly because I do not really like what I see