High specs but zero matches - Dating Apps

[Cheeky_James]

Because ( credit to @We_ArE_VeNOM who said this) ; men like to use OLD because they DON'T like rejections. Dude in his bio specifically says he " doesn’t like to approach women in bars and clubs".

So OLD gives the ILLUSION of not having to deal with rejection. But heres the conundrum; after swiping right on thousands of cute women and getting

no likes ,matches ,conversations and especially no dates and even more specifically no second dates and /or sex / relationships

it dawns down on a man that he's been rejected by ALL women who he swiped right on! 3786 rejections ...ouch!! While we do understand that women get exposed to (high value) men they would never be able to meet up untill a few ywars ago, simultaneously men are exposed to being rejected THOUSANDS of times in a shirt time span. We never talk about how OLD can kill a man's self esteem while he doesn't even leave his house! He might've been rejected more often than his previous four grandfathers together!

The "world " ,the dating scene , women collectively tell this man he is NOT attractive enough to even dip their toes into the the and see what's he about!

So what's a man to do? A man has to accept that he's living proof of the definition of insanity because he keeps doing what he did while he expects a different result...

I dont believe that a different sentence structure in his bio will change anything. Match.com.wants to milk him financially. He's a pay pig for the shareholders .

it is but a Game to me the apps.
I play it very much like a video game and (try) to attach no value to matches and rejections.
Chicks can unmatch out of the blue and it’s “meh” for me now.
“Likes” are real tho. It’s nice to get likes
But I do see your point,
And I’d never expect and LTR to come about off an app for me. So mayhe that’s the right call then for him then. idk. That’s a brutal amount of rejections.

 

[Bigpapa]

hmm yeah u could be right again BigPapa.
I see ChadFish experiments etc and the ease they get women, but I was always suspect on the quality of women Chads bang off apps, as that is never shown in the evidence. What’s the smv difference ..that matters

I cannot comment personally on higher tier women and unsure how much they use apps as tbh, I go the mid tier (and lower. ). Only occasionally get a sexy (and crazy) party girl. She’d still be only a sexy 7 tops at that.

I am not an insider in their world, unfortunately
All my study and practice of ‘Game’ never got me to the Promised Land

quality is an issue for even really good pua guys in real life ( where usually the quality is slightly better than on apps )

the conversions usually come from girls in the 4-6 range ( with makeup )

there was a guy whom really knows game and is actually really good. I would not have banged any of the girls he brought home

yeah, occasionally you will find a nice / amazing girl but most of the conversions will come from the 4-6 range ( with makeup )

So far I never met or seen any guy ( even elite level guys ) that are surrounded by beautiful women all the time

James Franco for example, that had a lot of status + good looks, was in sex scandal where he was accused ( and he confessed ) that was using his Hollywood status at his acting school so he can sleep with women with the promise that they will receive roles in movies

None of the girls there wanted to sleep with him because he is a cool and good looking guy, all slept with him for the promise they will be casted into movies

and quite sure that this is the case with the very vast majority of guys that have status ( with or without good looks ), women will sleep with them for what the guys can give them rather because they actually find them cool and sexy and feel the urge to have sex with them because of that

sex that is not transactional is not that easy not even for “chad” tier guys if you also keep an eye on quality

if you have the energy + willingness to bang anything that moves, then yeah the higher you are on the “chad” scale the better. But I doubt that any sane guy can keep up for too long like this

 

[Gamisch]

it is but a Game to me the apps.
I play it very much like a video game and (try) to attach no value to matches and rejections.
Chicks can unmatch out of the blue and it’s “meh” for me now.
“Likes” are real tho. It’s nice to get likes
But I do see your point,
And I’d never expect and LTR to come about off an app for me. So mayhe that’s the right call then for him then. idk. That’s a brutal amount of rejections.

The difference between you and dude is you seem WAY more aloof and way less outcome dependent.

Again, we've already concluded that his looks ain't the problem..its his VIBE.

Life is a b1tch. Its difficult to put in words how the world can punish or reward a man for his vibe/ aura.

I would be a terrible dating coach, because i would tell 90% of my clients to forget about women for at least 18 to 24 months. I would tell my clients to STOP depending on women to be motivated but to rather find intrinsic motivation to become the best version you could ever be. Make money, be strong (physically, spirituality and mentally) and love thy self more than anything else. Find a goal larger than life.

Simultaneously I would be living proof that when you do so you will get better results...

 

[Arete]

Because ( credit to @We_ArE_VeNOM who said this) ; men like to use OLD because they DON'T like rejections. Dude in his bio specifically says he " doesn’t like to approach women in bars and clubs".

So OLD gives the ILLUSION of not having to deal with rejection. But heres the conundrum; after swiping right on thousands of cute women and getting

no likes ,matches ,conversations and especially no dates and even more specifically no second dates and /or sex / relationships

it dawns down on a man that he's been rejected by ALL women who he swiped right on! 3786 rejections ...ouch!! While we do understand that women get exposed to (high value) men they would never be able to meet up untill a few ywars ago, simultaneously men are exposed to being rejected THOUSANDS of times in a short time span. We never talk about how OLD can kill a man's self esteem while he doesn't even leave his house! He might've been rejected more often than his previous four grandfathers together!

The "world " ,the dating scene , women collectively tell this man he is NOT attractive enough to even dip their toes into the the water and see what's he about!

So what's a man to do? A man has to accept that he's living proof of the definition of insanity because he keeps doing what he did while he expects a different result... he should leave OLD, level the F up and come back stronger !

I dont believe that a different sentence structure in his bio will change anything. Match.com.wants to milk him financially. He's a pay pig for the shareholders .

Eventually, I might go to a skilled photographer and see if it makes a difference, but that time isn't now. Like gamisch says, it subconsciously gets discouraging to keep swiping without any attention. Meanwhile, even getting rejected 10 times in real life is very unlikely.

Today I will try going for 10 approaches. Will I manage this? Probably not honestly. My mental state reaches its critical point at around 4 approaches in a single day currently. After that, I need to rest for two days on top of it.

But I will try anyway. I read this from BPH in another thread recently:

The way I got good at this was cold approaching any woman I found attractive and using canned pick-up lines until I no longer feared rejection. Some people can do that; others might be discouraged by such a massive feedback loop of failure before any success.

But if you can stick it out, it proved incredibly effective for my development. Because I didn't have role models, mentors, popular friends, etc. I had to figure it out myself.

My first attempt of the day is typically a brutal burn, but I often get rapidly better on every following attempt made on the same day. Despite that, I'm struggling hard to not get discouraged. Just like BPH explains it.

I will aim to do the same as he did, pushing through it.

 

[Cheeky_James]

The difference between you and dude is you seem WAY more aloof and way less outcome dependent.

Again, we've already concluded that his looks ain't the problem..its his VIBE.

Life is a b1tch. Its difficult to put in words how the world can punish or reward a man for his vibe/ aura.

I would be a terrible dating coach, because i would tell 90% of my clients to forget about women for at least 18 to 24 months. I would tell my clients to STOP depending on women to be motivated but to rather find intrinsic motivation to become the best version you could ever be. Make money, be strong (physically, spirituality and mentally) and love thy self more than anything else. Find a goal larger than life.

Simultaneously I would be living proof that when you do so you will get better results...

Eventually, I might go to a skilled photographer and see if it makes a difference, but that time isn't now. Like gamisch says, it subconsciously gets discouraging to keep swiping without any attention. Meanwhile, even getting rejected 10 times in real life is very unlikely.

Today I will try going for 10 approaches. Will I manage this? Probably not honestly. My mental state reaches its critical point at around 4 approaches in a single day currently. After that, I need to rest for two days on top of it.

But I will try anyway. I read this from BPH in another thread recently:



My first attempt of the day is typically a brutal burn, but I often get rapidly better on every following attempt made on the same day. Despite that, I'm struggling hard to not get discouraged. Just like BPH explains it.

I will aim to do the same as he did, pushing through it.

thats interesting about BPH.. as a lot of this forum will bash canned lines and routines , and advise to NOT do that,
even BPH himself has told me “ just have a normal conversation bro!” lol.
I’m sure he learned the mechanics of convo and smoothed out his convo with experienced using canned lines and routines lol. To arrive to his new “ normal” conversation w women.
They are training wheels to me. I did it the exact same way myself a decade ago. And arrived at the same place. My ‘normal’ conversairon is a mix of stuff and a few canned lines in there also used regularly.

 

[Identikit_Radiohead]

To answer your question ; I'm from Europe.

Women here are more fit by default. But seriously; now I've been polite enough to answer your question please return the favor and answer mine;

1.Do you think those women youve posted are 5,s?

2. Do you think you would be able to seduce said women or would they ignore and /or reject you?

The problem with your way of rating women; its not realistic. It might be fun and games when you're behind your screen watching the pronhub or instagram models, but its not rooted in reality. A 5 ( to 6, which means right down the middle of the scale) basically means a " normal "looking woman. Make up , weight-loss, right clothes and she goes UP two points.

A 3 or lower would be a woman with a significant deficiency/error. A fat woman in a wheelchair. Old bald woman. A woman who's on crack or meth and sleeps on the street.

 

[Cheeky_James]

The difference between you and dude is you seem WAY more aloof and way less outcome dependent.

Again, we've already concluded that his looks ain't the problem..its his VIBE.

Life is a b1tch. Its difficult to put in words how the world can punish or reward a man for his vibe/ aura.

I would be a terrible dating coach, because i would tell 90% of my clients to forget about women for at least 18 to 24 months. I would tell my clients to STOP depending on women to be motivated but to rather find intrinsic motivation to become the best version you could ever be. Make money, be strong (physically, spirituality and mentally) and love thy self more than anything else. Find a goal larger than life.

Simultaneously I would be living proof that when you do so you will get better results...

I think I may go into app /profile coaching as a side hustle lol. The market demand must be huge
$$$$$ baby ,yeah!

Catching this guys “vibe” via his profile is 100% fixable. As it’s just marketing. He may not be a lame guy IRL, just clueless and trying to play cutesy NiceGuy angles in the profile , trying to appeal to girl-next-door types of women.
That shot of him in his apron cooking /baking for example …. Vomit!
I reckon I could help this dude idk. I must contact him and hustle up some money

CJs full app makeover dating service- get the 9&10s! - only $5,000 for a limited time only- BUY TODAY!
Lol

 

[Cheeky_James]

this guy is a sales man bro. Don’t watch his videos. Looksmaxxers are the new PUAs.

 

[Identikit_Radiohead]

this guy is a sales man bro. Don’t watch his videos. Looksmaxxers are the new PUAs.

I'm just tired man of guys like @Gamisch who rate healthy weight average women as "unobtainable" or "hot" (he rated this average looking woman below as HOT; he even said the vast majority of men wouldn't even get a "sniff" of such women's panties). Simping to Mids Is part of the problem.

Excuse me bro, but in what f'ing Country is this an Elite tier looking woman?

 

[Gamisch]

I'm just tired man of guys like @Gamisch who rate healthy weight average women as "unobtainable" or "hot" (he rated this average looking woman below as HOT; he even said the vast majority of men wouldn't even get a "sniff" of such women's panties). Simping to Mids Is part of the problem.

Excuse me bro, but in what f'ing Country is this an Elite tier looking woman?

Yet YOU the one who keeps ducking my questions or answer then with videos from Incel TV.

Now let's keep this civilised and let's agree like gentlemen and not like angry women on their period shall we?

I say that the woman you've posted isn't " that bad", not bad at all. I would definitely be happy to rearrange her guts. So what, you wanna argue my taste? On top of that my taste is rooted in reality. This woman, dressed to kill with the right make up will be a fine woman. She's a professional athlete so her body will be on point.

And I'll repeat; most men won't get a sniff from that woman. She can go on Tinder and have 100+ likes within a couple of days. You would instantly be swiped left, wouldn't not even register on her radar. Welcome to REALITY.

You come across as extremely angry. What's up bro? When was the last times a womam sat on all fours and let you relieve some stress???? We are here to discuss SLEEPING with women. When was the last tike you've slept with a woman as I NEVER hear you talk about that shyte..

 

[Gamisch]

this guy is a sales man bro. Don’t watch his videos. Looksmaxxers are the new PUAs.

Its okay.

I've been on countless scuffles with incels on the forum. The pattern is always the same; they project their anger towards me, I verbally shut then down and then they disappear for good.

This dude has literally ZERO contributions regarding actually sleeping with women. Look up his post history. Its mostly incel- esqeu complaints about boohoo women boohoo the game is rigged.

I have a solid philosophy regarding my trajectory in life and deal with submissive women only whose day is shyte if I don't respond. And I dont care about leaving then neither.

 

[Cheeky_James]

@Gamisch

hmmm yes Aitana Bonmati ,a 28 year old . super fit professional footballer that plays for FC Barcelona and the Spanish national team…

could she possibly be elite and unobtainable for some 48 yo below-average looking dude..?

And is she rated a 5/10 smv woman?

hmmmm…
it’s a hard one !

 

[Bigpapa]

@Gamisch

hmmm yes Aitana Bonmati ,a 28 year old . super fit professional footballer that plays for FC Barcelona and the Spanish national team…

could she possibly be elite and unobtainable for some 48 yo below-average looking dude..?

And is she rated a 5/10 smv woman?

hmmmm…
it’s a hard one !

don’t take me wrong, the guy is right that without makeup she is a 5

The issue Is that he does not want to admit that if you put nice clothes on her makeup she can easily pass as a 6/7. If she does some surgeries here and there she can be an 8

if we look at the kardashians, their natural beauty is not there. At best a 5. But when you add makeup + clothes + surgeries you end up having a sex bomb

Also guys if they would learn how to groom themselves + have a nice style and so on they could get slightly better fundamentals

Kim kardashian with little to no makeup

IMG 7871 hosted at ImgBB

Image IMG 7871 hosted on ImgBB

ibb.co

Kim kardashian with makeup

IMG 7872 hosted at ImgBB

Image IMG 7872 hosted on ImgBB

ibb.co

if you ask me, it looks like 2 different girls when you compare little to no makeup vs makeup

 

[Cheeky_James]

don’t take me wrong, the guy is right that without makeup she is a 5

The issue Is that he does not want to admit that if you put nice clothes on her makeup she can easily pass as a 6/7. If she does some surgeries here and there she can be an 8

if we look at the kardashians, their natural beauty is not there. At best a 5. But when you add makeup + clothes + surgeries you end up having a sex bomb

Also guys if they would learn how to groom themselves + have a nice style and so on they could get slightly better fundamentals

Kim kardashian with little to no makeup

IMG 7871 hosted at ImgBB

Image IMG 7871 hosted on ImgBB

ibb.co

Kim kardashian with makeup

IMG 7872 hosted at ImgBB

Image IMG 7872 hosted on ImgBB

ibb.co

if you ask me, it looks like 2 different girls when you compare little to no makeup vs makeup

I agree. I mentioned it to him on his other thread about issues w rating. Do we rate women looking at their best or at their plainest ? If being that next to ALWAYS women present their best, dressed up beautified selves. Duh.

btw speaking of professional athletes, I’ll drop a brag..
10 years ago back in my PUA heyday I met a German ex pro tennis player at a bar here in Aus.. and fvcked her on a ONS.

…using some (wait for it…) improvised Speed Seducfion conversational stuff !

she was great!!!
My claim to fame

 

[Bigpapa]

10 years ago back in my PUA heyday

different times back then

I just got a backhand from a girl that I supposed to meet today from the apps

she was initially very high intent into meeting, we agreed to meet. Then the next day I see her becoming a bit cold so I tell her that I have to go back to my business

2 days pass, I open her one day before the date to check the vibe, she is colder and tells me that she got the cold. I tell her that then I would not feel too bad when I tell her that I have autumn asthenia and propose to meet next week . She said that she understands perfectly.

I ask her how Wednesday sounds to her and she replied that maybe should just drop it all together

I replied that from a cold and some asthenia sounds a bit drastic her proposal in a funny way. She replies that what can you do trying to be funny as well

I replied that I wanted to makeup for me changing the logistics one way or the other but if she feels this way there is no point arguing then

she replied something like “ I know. But if my attention is not captured one way or the other, I do not feel that I should loose my time or someone’s else ) “

I just ended with “ fair enough “

Even with girls that show high interest, usually some bullsh1t like this happens down the line

this is the norm these days, a lot of bullsh1t even with girls that show high interest and communication is smoothly and the vibe is there

also some time ago, when a girl showed too much interest there was a decent chance of things not working. Now it seems to be the norm

 

[Cheeky_James]

@Bigpapa
that sucks man.
For sure can happen .. some chicks get touchy /rejected when contact drops for a few days.or that there is not enough chasing happening.

.Others get annoyed when there’s “too much” contact! but it’s hard to tell which ones will be which sometimes.
Then there is the illness /life drama reasons for stall outs and 180s like that.

its hard to know wtf is going on w some ch1cks.

Edit; I’ve had a few that want to crawl inside my mind and psychoanalyse me before they feel enough “connection” to spread their legs .. for casual!

 

[Bigpapa]

its hard to know wtf is going on w some ch1cks.

The issue that I see at the moment with women is that nothing really makes any sense, and it can easily go from things going well to 180s turns without you as a guy doing anything wrong

and I do not know any guy ( no matter how good looking or top of the top he is ) that does not goes through the same thing

so when I hear guys complaining that the issue is that women want the top 20% and for them is super easy, I just laugh and think they are id10ts because they have no idea what they talk about and the mental fatigue that you have to go through these days with women

I do know one thing though, is that you need to push for escalation as soon as possible and be 70-80% sexual and like 20-30% into rapport building and escalate to sex as soon and as much as possible. If you go on the old way with 2-3 dates, it will rarely yield the results you expect

I think that the main reason for this women behavior stems from the fact that they are afraid of getting feelings + seeing that you are not easy to be tamed, which results in seeing you as a threat . That’s why I think sex either happens fast ( before you are seen as a threat ) either will not happen at all

 

[Solomon]

I've written about this in the past but I believe it is getting worse and worse as the years go on

Fundamentally app dating is viewed within the femosphere as bottom of the barrel stuff , "shopping the clearance isle" so to speak

It's the same for men but men will tolerate a lot more on the apps in the hope of a crumb of pu$$y plus its very very low effort which men love

What you end up with is a sub section of women that are on there either to window shop or because they are not getting men in real life and swathes of sexless desperate men making as little effort as possible trying to get laid

I personally haven't used a dating app in about 3 years and when I was using them I can't say any of the women I met were of any particular quality in fact some of the strangest women I have ever met in my life came from the apps ( although some of that was poor screening from me )

I think everyone like the idea of the dating app but in reality two complete strangers trying to communicate through digital profiles often leads to absolute nowhere

In my opinion, dating apps have gone off a cliff since COVID, but particularly over the last three years. The amount of women oversharing trauma, mental health issues, and unsolicited sexual history/Exes is at a crazy all time high.

It's like women since COVID have forgotten that oversharing trauma, exes, and even sexual history is not attractive at all. Pre-COVID, women would keep that stuff hidden until they knew they had a guy. Now they put it out in the open. The lack of self-awareness is striking. Telling a guy this stuff on a first date or even before, do they not realize it would scare a man off? And then you realize that women have so many options that eventually some guy will put up with all that in hopes of getting some consistent ass. But a guy who has self-respect or is looking for someone healthy will run away from a woman like that.

Honestly, I don't blame men for not making effort, and why should they? Various studies show that 90% of first dates don't lead to 2nd dates. Dating is expensive, even a coffee date (if you include the price of gas), and the likelihood of getting flaked or ghosted on is at an all time high. So why would any guy bother after dealing with that?

it is but a Game to me the apps.
I play it very much like a video game and (try) to attach no value to matches and rejections.
Chicks can unmatch out of the blue and it’s “meh” for me now.
“Likes” are real tho. It’s nice to get likes
But I do see your point,
And I’d never expect and LTR to come about off an app for me. So mayhe that’s the right call then for him then. idk. That’s a brutal amount of rejections.

YOU GET IT!

Apps are not meant to be taken seriously and you have to be RUTHLESS with your tactics. That nice guy cupcaking $hit is for the birds in 2026.

I remember in 2023 I was arguing with some buddies about online dating. One didn't have a clue what he was talking about because at the time he had never done it. The other one was on some romcom b.s. talking about "love and vibes." He had just gotten on the apps because he broke up with his girl at the time.

Fast forward to 2024 and the same lovey-dovey guy, after a year on the apps, texted me and was like "man EFF these hoes, they on some bull****... you gotta get a rotation going and ****." His tone completely changed. If you meet the guy you would laugh cause he fit's the nerd archetype, he's a good guy but the switch-up from "Love and vibes" to "eff these girls" happened fast once he experienced the reality of online dating.

What's my point?

My point is the guy tried to be genuine, looking for an LTR, giving women the benefit of the doubt, just to get played over and over. He learned very quickly in that year that most women on dating apps are Time wasters and not LTR material, so the best you can hope for is to smash. I'm not glorifying it, but it points out the obvious: for most men, trying to find an LTR through OLD is a dummy mission.

 

[Bigpapa]

point?

My point is the guy tried to be genuine, looking for an LTR, giving women the benefit of the doubt, just to get played over and over. He learned very quickly in that year that most women on dating apps are Time wasters and not LTR material, so the best you can hope for is to smash. I'm not glorifying it, but it points out the obvious: for most men, trying to find an LTR through OLD is a dummy mission.

even outside the apps are more or less the same

difficult to actually find women that are actually nice to have around

if you want to smash you have to go through all
This garbage, but I agree. You need ruthless strategies and an iron will to cope with all the bullsh1t that is happening

the issue is that some of the guys do not get any attention, and yes it s8cks big time. But the rest who do get attention they can easily lose your sanity dealing with them

so having a ruthless strategy + iron will + knowing when to cut your loses becomes one of the most important aspects in dating at the moment in my opinion

 

[Solomon]

even outside the apps are more or less the same

difficult to actually find women that are actually nice to have around

if you want to smash you have to go through all
This garbage, but I agree. You need ruthless strategies and an iron will to cope with all the bullsh1t that is happening

the issue is that some of the guys do not get any attention, and yes it s8cks big time. But the rest who do get attention they can easily lose your sanity dealing with them

I agree mostly, but IMO meeting women outside the apps can garner far better results. I can only speak for myself, but the women I've pulled in person are far better quality (not just looks, but personality etc.) than the ones I met on apps. Heck, a girl I dated not long ago (met via social circle) told me she woulda swiped left me on a dating app

I do agree it's difficult AF now; I don't know if it's in the area I live, but the women have become extremely arrogant, jaded, and delusional. My only advice is is for a guy it's important you not only have hobbies that place you around the TYPE of women you want but a strategy to maximize your results. You really have to be tactical nowadays because if not you're wasting your time.

Easier said than done