"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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High quality problem - Can there be to much kino?

skinnydart

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So until recently, I had never had gf or even a date. Thanks to you guys that has all changed.

I've known this girl for a month, gone out 6 times or so. On the 2nd date I laid on some kino, like just putting my arm around her during the movie. She was very receptive to it, basicly she just took my hand at that point, like she had been waiting to the whole time. :D

The next date we went up on the Blue Ridge Parkway and had a picnic, then hiked for a while. Basicly the whole afternoon was spent either holding her hand or with our arms around eachother.

Now whenever we are, in class, jor ust walking to lunch, if I'm not already holding her hand she'll just initiate it and take my hand. (which I don't mind at all) but we're never together and not touching in some way.

So the question is this: is it possible for there to be to much kino? Should it only be used as a reward or at least more sparingly? Is there any downside to there being constant kino whenever we're together?

I know all that stuff about "a woman wants what is scarce" or a "woman wants what she cannot have" but does this apply to kino as well?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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diablo

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I generally touch whatever girl I'm with frequently; then again I guess I'm just a touchy-feely kind of person. Some girls actually don't like it, some girls really do. As a basic rule, though, I'd say use kino as much as you're comfortable with - be careful that you don't overanalyze every small detail of this (and any other) relationship... some things are meant to be "natural" and not pre-planned...
 

christz

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any girl that says she doesn't like you touching her, ya know arm around her etc.. is lieing, i mean sure most girls don't like PDA, makeing out at a line for a movie or a roller coster.

but they do like when you touch them put your arm around them etc.. i do it frequently with a girl i'm intrested in and funny the girls that say they don't like it give it right back to you by doing the same
 

skinnydart

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Well, it's obvious that she likes the kino, but she also likes talking to me, but that doens't mean I should call her 4 times a day... see what I'm getting at?

So is this something I should just not worry about and use it sparingly or just give her all she wants?
 

christz

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don't worry about it, if it concerns you that much tone it down a little bit.

but the calling her on the phone 4 times a day is a totally different thing then kino. I don't even wanna talk to my best friends that much in one day hah
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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ScrewIt

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Kino isnt something you should be worried about. It's only a problem if you make it one. If anything, more Kino brings more positive results than does little kino.

the part with "they want what's scarce" well it usually applies to how often you keep in touch with her or see her.

Just keep up the good work and remember to have a life of your own too, dont expect to be able to see or talk to her daily.
 

Luveno

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Stop thinking about it.

Stop giving it a name.

Be natural.
 
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