High interest level then flake

[Vanilla]

Ok so I've contacted this woman from myspace, she asked for my aim screen name, then I asked for her phone number. I called her a few days later to set up a dinner date (since coffee is boring imo and you have more to talk about).

Later I find that she's been calling my phone twice, sent me messages in my inbox and asked if I was around on IM. I replied to her IM, and only confirmed that we were still on for Friday night. Then she comes asking out of the blue:

[11:06] HB: why u want to meet up?
[11:06] me: I'm interested in knowing more about you
[11:09] HB: May I ask u a question?
[11:10] HB: Are u expecting more after dinner?

My initial reaction was a one night stand type of thing, and this confirmed it. (English is not her first language)

[11:13] HB: how about hook-up?

I get a call (again) asking to push it from 8pm to 9pm for work and now just a few minutes ago, I get a text message saying she can't make it because she has to work tonight. Not once did she mention that earlier. I'm not going to pursue her, but I can't help thinking what would cause her to change plans so quickly.

Thoughts?

 

[Phyzzle]

Well, you've never even met her, so there's no way to go back and figure out if you could have done differently.

I mean, she could be some guy with a fake profile pranking you, so don't give it another thought.

 

[Vanilla]

Well, you've never even met her, so there's no way to go back and figure out if you could have done differently.

I mean, she could be some guy with a fake profile pranking you, so don't give it another thought.

Wasn't a guy since I talked to her on the phone, and pics werent fake either.

I'm just wondering if she's embarrassed about wanting to hookup so easily, unless I'm overlooking something else.

 

[gettingstronger]

she thinks u just want her for sex. u didnt get to know her well enough on an emotional level. Why will see meet up if all u want is a bang

 

[Jestor]

Ok so I've contacted this woman from myspace, she asked for my aim screen name, then I asked for her phone number. I called her a few days later to set up a dinner date (since coffee is boring imo and you have more to talk about).

Later I find that she's been calling my phone twice, sent me messages in my inbox and asked if I was around on IM. I replied to her IM, and only confirmed that we were still on for Friday night. Then she comes asking out of the blue:

[11:06] HB: why u want to meet up?
[11:06] me: I'm interested in knowing more about you
[11:09] HB: May I ask u a question?
[11:10] HB: Are u expecting more after dinner?

My initial reaction was a one night stand type of thing, and this confirmed it. (English is not her first language)

[11:13] HB: how about hook-up?

I get a call (again) asking to push it from 8pm to 9pm for work and now just a few minutes ago, I get a text message saying she can't make it because she has to work tonight. Not once did she mention that earlier. I'm not going to pursue her, but I can't help thinking what would cause her to change plans so quickly.

Thoughts?

My own experience is that if a girl asks what I'm looking for then it's usually because she wants to say no. It also implies that she is putting you in the same category as other guys who want something from her.

A reframe is best: "What makes you think I'm expecting anything?"

 

[abcd_z]

Perhaps a better reframe for that would be "Whatever happens, happens. If we click and something happens, then that's great, but if not, that's also fine."

This implies that you're not coming from a place of scarcity, and that you're not going to put too much pressure on any one situation or any one girl. Very attractive qualities to have, IMHO.