"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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CapedCrusader08

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Long time reader,first time poster.

About me: I am 23 years old,and feel I am at a loss in life. I could go into more specifics now,but I am rather tired. I have read alot of the information on here, and have begun to engrain alot of information in. I still feel I have yet to be where I would like to be,and that has been a problem for me. I do suffer from depression/anxiety/low self esteem/lack of confidence etc,was also diagnosed with a learning disability a few years back,so that could be a cause for alot of this. I will get into more specifics later,perhaps you can help me.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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CapedCrusader08

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Thank you. To make things short and sweet and now,and put some thing's into lamen's terms,I generally feel,not so much do,but feel,if that makes sense, the opposite of what is described on here and the whole seduction thing in general. I am trying to break away from certain conditions,both ones learned and developed. I generally feel very lonely and empty,and that feeling of not bringing anything or enough to the table,could be an inferority complex. I am definitley not "the nice guy",hell,I don't even know what I am at this stage. So I think that gives a general idea. I have more to discuss later.

But a couple things are,I try to take in all this positive information,and it doesn't. Could be depression.

Another is all of this talk about presence,frame,etc. How that's all that matters and body type,money,etc do not. Know what I mean?
 
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CapedCrusader08

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Well,I have had my a-hole moments,let's say that.

No,I feel more like I am still this,child of sorts. I still live at home,so somewhat co-dependent. It's like I am in this limbo between full adulthood and adolescence,and I see everyone else with a plan moving ahead,and I feel rather behind. If that makes sense. And by not a nice guy,I mean,well,what is commonly described as the nice guy. Emotional tampon,ass kisser,supplicating,etc. I feel as though I have yet to even be seen as "sexual" by girls,and this has had me very concerned. I will say this,ever since reading this site,I see chick's b.s a little better,and have developed a bit of an anger at them.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Metaphysical

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you won't really change until you feel like life has beat you up and you can't take it anymore. it's only after you've hit bottom that you can actually rise up and change
 
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CapedCrusader08

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Well,I mean,I don't know If I would say I have hit total bottom,I am just not happy. I do feel beaten up though.

It acually feels like I have realized how things work,and am bitter/angry that things are not in my favor,when all I want is things to go simply.

For example,this,and the whole "Value" thing,which I am still trying to figure out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFq45e-d5fY&NR=1
 
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OTB

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Metaphysical said:
you won't really change until you feel like life has beat you up and you can't take it anymore. it's only after you've hit bottom that you can actually rise up and change
Click to expand...
Metaphysical, are you the kid that actually went through the whole transformation on the site?!?! :eek:

If you are, that is beyond amazing! :up:
 
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