"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Hey, need some help regarding phone#

Kay9

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Now, first off, this is NOT the regular "How can I ask for her digits the DJ way?", it is on a different note.

The story. I met this nice girl, and had a little chat with her. Now, I wasn't really connected to the ground or something, but this chat ended up with nothing much.

This was about 3 months ago.

Last friday, I saw her at a party, which was pretty crowded. I went to get me a beer as she wasn't looking at my direction, and then headed to her direction which was luckily my friends direction. As she saw me, we locked eyes for a sec, she smiled, and told me she thinks she knows me from somewhere. anyway, I chatted with her for about two minutes, which I probably handled ok - but I'm no dj material, that's for sure.

Anyway, lacking all kind of dj style, I didn't close off at ANYTHING and just went on to dance with my friends. I did notice she was looking at me, but being the ass I am, I did not do anything about it, even not locking eyes again(I was being a totally insecure idiot. I know.).

Now, the point and question is: I think we were thinking on the same wavelength. I didn't get her #, but I think I can get to her somehow on the phone(something like looking at yellow-pages, only calling her at work).

Should I? How do I start up a convo in such a situation?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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brenbaus

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dude, you fvcked up, if you see her again ask for her number, otherwise move on
 

Kay9

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I have?

was it because I missed out the first time, or something else?
 

skip2mylou781

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look her up on facebook and send her a message there........girls usually haev their #s up on facebook, so u could take it from there
 

Kay9

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skip2mylou781 said:
look her up on facebook and send her a message there........girls usually haev their #s up on facebook, so u could take it from there
Don't really know what facebook is...:confused:
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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SamePendo

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It's a semi-myspace.

Learn from your mistake, and next time # close, her, or any chick.

I advice you to do the bootcamp.
 

timeforacatnap

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just get her number, or move on, DO NOT look up her number thats kinda stalker-ish, consider if you were talking to a girl and she was really into you and you went home a few weeks late you get a call and its that girl, you hardly know her you didnt give her your number, why is she calling you?

^^^thats what her though process will be.

when you get her number call her the next day..and anchor her good feelings by taking about fun things and make her laugh...then leave it keep it short and sweet then leave it for 2/3 days.
when you go in for the number just say, you wanna give me your number, as opposed to can i have your number..one is non-needy the other is needy..and surprisingly it does make a difference, i field teste the two and got more number using the first one

also dont put too much value on this girl, there are loads more you can try out on.

www.dynamicdatinglifestyle.com
 

Kay9

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I will. Anyway, are you saying that this is done? I think I have a good chance of seeing her again. I was just thinking that it is intimading a bit.
Some of my friends - male/female - say that it is "romantic and funny", while some say that it is a silly and insecure way that will never get me anywhere. Which is it?
 

Kay9

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timeforacatnap said:
just get her number, or move on, DO NOT look up her number thats kinda stalker-ish, consider if you were talking to a girl and she was really into you and you went home a few weeks late you get a call and its that girl, you hardly know her you didnt give her your number, why is she calling you?

^^^thats what her though process will be.

when you get her number call her the next day..and anchor her good feelings by taking about fun things and make her laugh...then leave it keep it short and sweet then leave it for 2/3 days.
when you go in for the number just say, you wanna give me your number, as opposed to can i have your number..one is non-needy the other is needy..and surprisingly it does make a difference, i field teste the two and got more number using the first one

also dont put too much value on this girl, there are loads more you can try out on.

www.dynamicdatinglifestyle.com
That is what I thought. But I always thought after reading some stuff here, that something on the lines of "hey, let's go get a glass of beer sometime, give me you # so I can get in touch" is better than both, as it is a statment... Or isn't it?
 

Kay9

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Oh, and I'm quite cool with that whole thing, I just met her recently and fvcked up big time so it pissed me off. That is why I'm writing all this stuff, so I would not fvck up again.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

timeforacatnap

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it can be depending on delivery..and the levvelof comfort you've build with her

what you've got there is a time bridge, you stating what you will do, this allows her to relax abit as you've got a plan and she knows the plan

better still from your statement is:

'hey i wanna check this new bar out on wed, you WANNA come and grab a beer there? i can only stay for an hour cause i gotta meet a friend..you wanna give me your number?'

heres the breakdown

'hey i wanna check this new bar out on wed,(stating your plan) you WANNA (<pattern language, subtile command)come and grab a beer there?(time bridge) i can only stay for an hour (false time constraint, also alows you or her to back out if the 'date' goes bad) cause i gotta meet a friend (DHV you have friends, if its at night its probably a girl thus even more DHv)..you wanna give me your number?'

www.dynamicdatinglifestyle.com
 

Kay9

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I see. Thank you all for your educational advices. I decide eventually after much debate to go with my intuition, and not call her. If or when I meet her again, I'll try and make my move/# close. If not, so be it.

I consider my question answered, so this thread can sink now, unless other people have better ideas.

And thank you all again.
 
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