Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Hey, need some help regarding phone#

Kay9

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Now, first off, this is NOT the regular "How can I ask for her digits the DJ way?", it is on a different note.

The story. I met this nice girl, and had a little chat with her. Now, I wasn't really connected to the ground or something, but this chat ended up with nothing much.

This was about 3 months ago.

Last friday, I saw her at a party, which was pretty crowded. I went to get me a beer as she wasn't looking at my direction, and then headed to her direction which was luckily my friends direction. As she saw me, we locked eyes for a sec, she smiled, and told me she thinks she knows me from somewhere. anyway, I chatted with her for about two minutes, which I probably handled ok - but I'm no dj material, that's for sure.

Anyway, lacking all kind of dj style, I didn't close off at ANYTHING and just went on to dance with my friends. I did notice she was looking at me, but being the ass I am, I did not do anything about it, even not locking eyes again(I was being a totally insecure idiot. I know.).

Now, the point and question is: I think we were thinking on the same wavelength. I didn't get her #, but I think I can get to her somehow on the phone(something like looking at yellow-pages, only calling her at work).

Should I? How do I start up a convo in such a situation?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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brenbaus

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dude, you fvcked up, if you see her again ask for her number, otherwise move on
 

Kay9

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I have?

was it because I missed out the first time, or something else?
 

skip2mylou781

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look her up on facebook and send her a message there........girls usually haev their #s up on facebook, so u could take it from there
 

Kay9

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skip2mylou781 said:
look her up on facebook and send her a message there........girls usually haev their #s up on facebook, so u could take it from there
Don't really know what facebook is...:confused:
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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SamePendo

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It's a semi-myspace.

Learn from your mistake, and next time # close, her, or any chick.

I advice you to do the bootcamp.
 

timeforacatnap

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just get her number, or move on, DO NOT look up her number thats kinda stalker-ish, consider if you were talking to a girl and she was really into you and you went home a few weeks late you get a call and its that girl, you hardly know her you didnt give her your number, why is she calling you?

^^^thats what her though process will be.

when you get her number call her the next day..and anchor her good feelings by taking about fun things and make her laugh...then leave it keep it short and sweet then leave it for 2/3 days.
when you go in for the number just say, you wanna give me your number, as opposed to can i have your number..one is non-needy the other is needy..and surprisingly it does make a difference, i field teste the two and got more number using the first one

also dont put too much value on this girl, there are loads more you can try out on.

www.dynamicdatinglifestyle.com
 

Kay9

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I will. Anyway, are you saying that this is done? I think I have a good chance of seeing her again. I was just thinking that it is intimading a bit.
Some of my friends - male/female - say that it is "romantic and funny", while some say that it is a silly and insecure way that will never get me anywhere. Which is it?
 

Kay9

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timeforacatnap said:
just get her number, or move on, DO NOT look up her number thats kinda stalker-ish, consider if you were talking to a girl and she was really into you and you went home a few weeks late you get a call and its that girl, you hardly know her you didnt give her your number, why is she calling you?

^^^thats what her though process will be.

when you get her number call her the next day..and anchor her good feelings by taking about fun things and make her laugh...then leave it keep it short and sweet then leave it for 2/3 days.
when you go in for the number just say, you wanna give me your number, as opposed to can i have your number..one is non-needy the other is needy..and surprisingly it does make a difference, i field teste the two and got more number using the first one

also dont put too much value on this girl, there are loads more you can try out on.

www.dynamicdatinglifestyle.com
That is what I thought. But I always thought after reading some stuff here, that something on the lines of "hey, let's go get a glass of beer sometime, give me you # so I can get in touch" is better than both, as it is a statment... Or isn't it?
 

Kay9

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Oh, and I'm quite cool with that whole thing, I just met her recently and fvcked up big time so it pissed me off. That is why I'm writing all this stuff, so I would not fvck up again.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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timeforacatnap

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it can be depending on delivery..and the levvelof comfort you've build with her

what you've got there is a time bridge, you stating what you will do, this allows her to relax abit as you've got a plan and she knows the plan

better still from your statement is:

'hey i wanna check this new bar out on wed, you WANNA come and grab a beer there? i can only stay for an hour cause i gotta meet a friend..you wanna give me your number?'

heres the breakdown

'hey i wanna check this new bar out on wed,(stating your plan) you WANNA (<pattern language, subtile command)come and grab a beer there?(time bridge) i can only stay for an hour (false time constraint, also alows you or her to back out if the 'date' goes bad) cause i gotta meet a friend (DHV you have friends, if its at night its probably a girl thus even more DHv)..you wanna give me your number?'

www.dynamicdatinglifestyle.com
 

Kay9

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I see. Thank you all for your educational advices. I decide eventually after much debate to go with my intuition, and not call her. If or when I meet her again, I'll try and make my move/# close. If not, so be it.

I consider my question answered, so this thread can sink now, unless other people have better ideas.

And thank you all again.
 
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