Hey all, just need some help

[NGuy]

This doesn't apply to women in particular, but first, let me start off by saying I am a very shy person. I am in High school, but I find myself sort of 'out of place'. I feel very alone there. In class, I just sit there like a damn vegetable, I don't hesistate to speak when spoken to though, I just become short of breath about half-way through the sentence, and then I go over what I said in my head, having a pessimistic outlook on things, and thinking about all the bad things the person I've talked to must be thinking about me. I just wish I could be more approachable, or at least be the 'approacher', without looking desperate. I've read alot of fascinating articles on this site already, good job especially to Pook, but.. I know there is no miracle solution, I just need some help... Thanks, it took alot of time for me to write this, but I am glad I got it out... Any help is deeply appreaciated.

-NGuy

 

[khanboy]

*sigh* I know you've heard this before, but that's because it's true. We've all been there.

I could list a bunch of inspirational lines, give you my own testimonial, list a bunch of other things, but they wont make a difference.

Honestly man, all it comes down to is whether or not you are willing to take control of your life, or simply wallow in self-pity.

The choice is yours,
khanboy

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Just approach and have a conversation that is of no consequence! Don't think about the outcome. Start convos with people who are younger than you for practice.

 

[Grey Fox]

Perhaps you are short of breath for two reasons when you speak. Either you do not pause when speak and speak very quickly, or you are nervous about speaking to others. What holds you back is fear of rejection, not just from women but from society itself. You don't just vegitate in class, be honest you sit there and think about what it would be like to interact and be popular. But of course that pessimism kicks in and think folks won't like you and thats why you stay clamed up and are winded when you talk.
But you want to change and thats great, as long as you really honestly want it. The best start for you is right before class starts is to look to the person at your left or right and just say hey hows it going and just talk about the most common **** possible.

Example:

Hey how goes it?

You catch Chapelle Show/the game/that new music video last night?

When you talk to people focus on what they are saying, your comments should be to relate your experiences with theirs and create commonality between you. Don't worry about being funny, the oppurtunites will naturally present itself.

Eventually after the simple chit chat you'll start to move on and have more in depth convo's and then holy crap-on-a-stick when you talk to girls this same pattern will work and once you make a connection it won't seem so weird to approach them for a date since there is commonality between you.

Don't be worried about failing, its actually the most liberating thing that can happen, becuase you'll learn like we all did that it only makes you stronger and you learn so much from it.

But props to the first reply because it is true either you choose to change or you choose to sit on your ass.

-Grey Fox

 

[NGuy]

Thanks guys, that was a great confidence booster Actually, this morning I did start talking with a few people in my class, just about random stuff, the thing is, I didn't have a fear of rejection because we had similar interests, and I felt a sort of 'bond' from that. Thanks again