"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Hesitated, and now?

jdomingos76

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Hi, I'm a divorced 35 years old good looking guy and been reading DJ stuff since my twenties, although not much lately.

Today I went to a new hairdresser to cut my hair. There was only a girl working, we made great conversation, she was really into me, and she signal she was available to something more. In the end, and also because I received a call from my ex on that moment, I failed to ask her out.

Now how can I recover from that mistake? Should I just pass by and ask her out? Will that sound desperate?
Or should wait my hair to grow again?
I have confidence to do what's need to be done, but I want to maximize my chances.

Thanks
Jorge
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Sparky

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jdomingos76 said:
and also because I received a call from my ex on that moment, I failed to ask her out.
You didn't HAVE to pick up the phone. You could have ignored it, asked the girl out, then phoned your ex back when you were out of the shop. Unless it was something urgently important, in which case it still could've waitied 1 or 2 minutes. Sure you're just not using that as an excuse for dissolving at the last minute?

I think you might be ok. Peronally I'd give it another go, and try not to flake out again. Don't rush in either. Like surfing, wait for the correct wave.

Women are surely being a bit harsh if they don't go out with a guy just because he failed to ask her out exactly when SHE wanted him to. If she likes you, surely she won't have minded that much. You never know, you might have made her hungrier.

Also - in my experience, be a bit careful with girls that work in shops - sometimes they can seem really friendly, and it's part of the job as a hairdresser, don't forget, sometimes I've misinterpreted that in the past. But only you can be the judge of that.
 

jdomingos76

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Sparky said:
You didn't HAVE to pick up the phone. You could have ignored it, asked the girl out, then phoned your ex back when you were out of the shop. Unless it was something urgently important, in which case it still could've waitied 1 or 2 minutes. Sure you're just not using that as an excuse for dissolving at the last minute?

I think you might be ok. Peronally I'd give it another go, and try not to flake out again. Don't rush in either. Like surfing, wait for the correct wave.

Women are surely being a bit harsh if they don't go out with a guy just because he failed to ask her out exactly when SHE wanted him to. If she likes you, surely she won't have minded that much. You never know, you might have made her hungrier.

Also - in my experience, be a bit careful with girls that work in shops - sometimes they can seem really friendly, and it's part of the job as a hairdresser, don't forget, sometimes I've misinterpreted that in the past. But only you can be the judge of that.
You are right, I shouldn't have picked the phone. I think she was really interested. She's not a great looking girl, a bit fat, and I felt she was really excited by my talk and my charm towards her. She shown me her cat's photos, and told me she sleeps with them... hehehe

I'm just afraid of appearing desperate (maybe I'm a bit), and gonna wait for the right waive as you said... Don't know when but I'm sure I'll find out.
 

Chamber36

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if she starts showing u pictures and stuff then she usually really likes you.
U shouldn't put any pressure on urself.

Talk to her about wat the hell she likes to do. If she gives you an oppertunity to ask her out, then you can.

If i'm wrong correct me
 

Sparky

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jdomingos76 said:
She shown me her cat's photos, and told me she sleeps with them... hehehe
Erm...... ewwww.... the cat woman. Be careful, this could be weird.

I love cats and have two. But there's a difference between being a cat lover or keeper, and being obsessed with cats, and using them as baby substitutes.

How many photos of them did she have on her phone? And was it an iphone to boot? How much did she talk about them? Did she at any point refer to them as her "babies" or similar?

Chamber36 said:
if she starts showing u pictures and stuff then she usually really likes you.
U shouldn't put any pressure on urself.

Talk to her about wat the hell she likes to do. If she gives you an oppertunity to ask her out, then you can.

If i'm wrong correct me
Yeah this is also true, I don't want to put you off or anything. If it was only one or two pics of each cat then you're probably ok. If you saw the whole album full of 100's of pics of each one then you're into "CAT WOMAN" territory. Also if she sleeps with them, be prepared to get cat hair on your pecker if you ever do end up getting anywhere with her.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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jdomingos76

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Sparky said:
Erm...... ewwww.... the cat woman. Be careful, this could be weird.

I love cats and have two. But there's a difference between being a cat lover or keeper, and being obsessed with cats, and using them as baby substitutes.

How many photos of them did she have on her phone? And was it an iphone to boot? How much did she talk about them? Did she at any point refer to them as her "babies" or similar?
It was about 8 photos, on paper... She talked some 10 minutes about it, also because I have dogs and prefer them to cats. She also had her nails painted with different colors... She looks a bit like a Gothic. I find all that also strange, but I just want sex and pleasure, I don't mind too much about psycho issues.
 

bigneil

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"He who hesitates is lost".

Carpe Diem (Seize the Opportunity / Seize the Day).
 
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