"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Hesitated, and now?

jdomingos76

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Hi, I'm a divorced 35 years old good looking guy and been reading DJ stuff since my twenties, although not much lately.

Today I went to a new hairdresser to cut my hair. There was only a girl working, we made great conversation, she was really into me, and she signal she was available to something more. In the end, and also because I received a call from my ex on that moment, I failed to ask her out.

Now how can I recover from that mistake? Should I just pass by and ask her out? Will that sound desperate?
Or should wait my hair to grow again?
I have confidence to do what's need to be done, but I want to maximize my chances.

Thanks
Jorge
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Sparky

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jdomingos76 said:
and also because I received a call from my ex on that moment, I failed to ask her out.
You didn't HAVE to pick up the phone. You could have ignored it, asked the girl out, then phoned your ex back when you were out of the shop. Unless it was something urgently important, in which case it still could've waitied 1 or 2 minutes. Sure you're just not using that as an excuse for dissolving at the last minute?

I think you might be ok. Peronally I'd give it another go, and try not to flake out again. Don't rush in either. Like surfing, wait for the correct wave.

Women are surely being a bit harsh if they don't go out with a guy just because he failed to ask her out exactly when SHE wanted him to. If she likes you, surely she won't have minded that much. You never know, you might have made her hungrier.

Also - in my experience, be a bit careful with girls that work in shops - sometimes they can seem really friendly, and it's part of the job as a hairdresser, don't forget, sometimes I've misinterpreted that in the past. But only you can be the judge of that.
 

jdomingos76

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Sparky said:
You didn't HAVE to pick up the phone. You could have ignored it, asked the girl out, then phoned your ex back when you were out of the shop. Unless it was something urgently important, in which case it still could've waitied 1 or 2 minutes. Sure you're just not using that as an excuse for dissolving at the last minute?

I think you might be ok. Peronally I'd give it another go, and try not to flake out again. Don't rush in either. Like surfing, wait for the correct wave.

Women are surely being a bit harsh if they don't go out with a guy just because he failed to ask her out exactly when SHE wanted him to. If she likes you, surely she won't have minded that much. You never know, you might have made her hungrier.

Also - in my experience, be a bit careful with girls that work in shops - sometimes they can seem really friendly, and it's part of the job as a hairdresser, don't forget, sometimes I've misinterpreted that in the past. But only you can be the judge of that.
You are right, I shouldn't have picked the phone. I think she was really interested. She's not a great looking girl, a bit fat, and I felt she was really excited by my talk and my charm towards her. She shown me her cat's photos, and told me she sleeps with them... hehehe

I'm just afraid of appearing desperate (maybe I'm a bit), and gonna wait for the right waive as you said... Don't know when but I'm sure I'll find out.
 

Chamber36

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if she starts showing u pictures and stuff then she usually really likes you.
U shouldn't put any pressure on urself.

Talk to her about wat the hell she likes to do. If she gives you an oppertunity to ask her out, then you can.

If i'm wrong correct me
 

Sparky

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jdomingos76 said:
She shown me her cat's photos, and told me she sleeps with them... hehehe
Erm...... ewwww.... the cat woman. Be careful, this could be weird.

I love cats and have two. But there's a difference between being a cat lover or keeper, and being obsessed with cats, and using them as baby substitutes.

How many photos of them did she have on her phone? And was it an iphone to boot? How much did she talk about them? Did she at any point refer to them as her "babies" or similar?

Chamber36 said:
if she starts showing u pictures and stuff then she usually really likes you.
U shouldn't put any pressure on urself.

Talk to her about wat the hell she likes to do. If she gives you an oppertunity to ask her out, then you can.

If i'm wrong correct me
Yeah this is also true, I don't want to put you off or anything. If it was only one or two pics of each cat then you're probably ok. If you saw the whole album full of 100's of pics of each one then you're into "CAT WOMAN" territory. Also if she sleeps with them, be prepared to get cat hair on your pecker if you ever do end up getting anywhere with her.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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jdomingos76

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Sparky said:
Erm...... ewwww.... the cat woman. Be careful, this could be weird.

I love cats and have two. But there's a difference between being a cat lover or keeper, and being obsessed with cats, and using them as baby substitutes.

How many photos of them did she have on her phone? And was it an iphone to boot? How much did she talk about them? Did she at any point refer to them as her "babies" or similar?
It was about 8 photos, on paper... She talked some 10 minutes about it, also because I have dogs and prefer them to cats. She also had her nails painted with different colors... She looks a bit like a Gothic. I find all that also strange, but I just want sex and pleasure, I don't mind too much about psycho issues.
 

bigneil

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"He who hesitates is lost".

Carpe Diem (Seize the Opportunity / Seize the Day).
 
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