"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

he's a virgin!

C

chili kat

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Originally posted by AIR-PILOT
Take out your goods and stick it in her mouth, that outta shut her up.
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I actually knew a guy that did something like that once.

This girl kept teasing my friend that he had a small ****, just day after day, you know? So one day were hanging in the living room and she gets started on the small **** thing again. Now, she's sitting on the floor, back up against the couch as this goes on for a while. He decided to hit the bathroom. So were all BSing and out of nowhere he comes out, kind of like from behind her because the bathroom is down the hall, and before she knew it she was literally getting slapped accross the face with his shlong. And he's yelling, "How fvcking small is THAT, huh *****?!"

She jumped right up, bolted for the bedroom and locked the door. Wouldn't come out for 2 hours. I couldn't believe he actually went through with it. Talked about doing it for days.

*************************************************

As for the thread topic, I've had a girl or two pull this crap on me even though they knew very well I was no virgin. I didn't say a damn word. Just smiled like I thought it was funny and moved on.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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D

Docs

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She jumped right up, bolted for the bedroom and locked the door. Wouldn't come out for 2 hours. I couldn't believe he actually went through with it. Talked about doing it for days.
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WOW.

I have NO comment for that.
 
E

Evangenlion

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yeah the best thing to do is to show her u don't care. she'll see that her comments have no affect on u and she'll give it up soon.
 
L

Lost In Translation

Master Don Juan
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i think the girl likes you and she is wanting you to make a move

and as you are not giving it to her she is trying ******** reverse psychology on you

when a chick wants to hook up with you and she thinks it's obvious

she doesn't understand

so she will say " are you gay ? " or " you are shy "

or some crap like that

i think she is speaking in ******** loud and clear

DO SOMETHING WITH ME

THIS GUY IS A VIRGIN !!!

that explains why he hasn't foddled my breasts

think about it...


Lost In Translation :D

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**
 
R

Reborn Don Juan

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Look at the crowd when she says it, and go, "I just told her that so I could fuck her." ;)
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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D

dannyc

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Originally posted by chili kat
I actually knew a guy that did something like that once.

This girl kept teasing my friend that he had a small ****, just day after day, you know? So one day were hanging in the living room and she gets started on the small **** thing again. Now, she's sitting on the floor, back up against the couch as this goes on for a while. He decided to hit the bathroom. So were all BSing and out of nowhere he comes out, kind of like from behind her because the bathroom is down the hall, and before she knew it she was literally getting slapped accross the face with his shlong. And he's yelling, "How fvcking small is THAT, huh *****?!"

She jumped right up, bolted for the bedroom and locked the door. Wouldn't come out for 2 hours. I couldn't believe he actually went through with it. Talked about doing it for days.

*************************************************

As for the thread topic, I've had a girl or two pull this crap on me even though they knew very well I was no virgin. I didn't say a damn word. Just smiled like I thought it was funny and moved on.
Click to expand...
:crackup: :crackup:
 
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