"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Here is how it went down...

oobm

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So I have been talking to this girl. I got her over my place and we watch a movie and made out the other day. We made out at my parents house when I was in town. I invited her to come to my apartment today(1 hr drive for her). So anyways she said she would come. Well she called me back up later on today and she asked if I wanted to go meet her at this mall which is like 30 minutes away. I said yes. I started thinking should I work around her schedule... She has a girl with her and 2 guy friends. She was also driving so she could not drive back to my apartment by herself afterwards... So I called her back and told her I wasn't going to go to the mall b/c I invited her to come over my place to chill. I could tell she was mad a little. She said okay I see how it is or something like that. Anyways I'm like alright I gotta go, you can still come over blah blah. Damn I really wanted to go meet her up, but I CAN NOT let her control the movement of this game/dating phase. I need to tell her whats up. So I'm wondering if I was being too extreme? Maybe I f-ed up this time, but the game is all about improvement.
Anyways I just broke up w/ my girlfriend the other week, so being single is just so awesome. I'm starting to get symptoms of one-itis for this girl, but that will change because I'm only talking to her right now. I'm planning on going out tonight so I don't get one-itis on her and to talk to more girls. More girls more choices. So was I too extreme by not meeting her up at the mall? I figured those guys would be ****ing up my game/**** blocking and there would be no alone time.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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PRMoon

Master Don Juan
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Nice first post rook!

I think you did well not catering to her and going to the mall of all places to help her carry her bags like a chump. If you invite someone some where and they change their plans/agenda, you have every right to say no to it and they can call you later. I think your actions are even more justified in that you just broke up with your g/f last week so you definately don't need to do anything too out of the way for a girl you're just an aquaintence with. If you hooked up with you a few times in the past and she's into you, then she'll call you later. If you're still feeling weird about it clear the air and say you were looking forward to personal time with her and hanging out with her friend just wasn't what you were prepared for at that time.

A bonus kudos to you for taking the intiative and going out tonight to see if you can play the field further! You definately want to open/establish more options for yourself so you don't get too tied down with one girl or miss out on other "potential" that's out there.
 

oobm

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Thanks PRmoon. One-itis is sucks and can mess with your emotions. I definitely don't want that when there are all those potentials out there. :D
 

The Bad Ass Canadian

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Welcome to the boards.

You handled that well, for a new guy. I think you understand the concept of what being a DJ is all about and you'll have tons of success judging by your first encounter as a recovering AFC.
 

DJDamage

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I like the way you handled yourself. It is my believe that when you first meet a girl you need to keep things basic.

In basic I mean that until she has not proved herself to you, the other people in her life should not enter your life and do not exist as far as I am concern. She can see her friends on her time, not on your time. When you make a date and the girl agrees to it, then its on. If she calls and wants to do "something else", well we can do that "something else" on our next date. I stick to my guns!

Same thing with her parents or family, I don't need to know them or meet them. Each one of the above characters (including her friends) has the potential to c0ckblock me therefore I choose not to bring myself there until I am confident in the girl I am with.

If and when I choose to be exclusive then I am ready to meet her clan.

DjDamage
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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oobm

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I used to read asf and dyd, but then I decided to see what having a gf would be like. I sure am enjoying the single life now. :p
 
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