"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Here is how it went down...

oobm

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So I have been talking to this girl. I got her over my place and we watch a movie and made out the other day. We made out at my parents house when I was in town. I invited her to come to my apartment today(1 hr drive for her). So anyways she said she would come. Well she called me back up later on today and she asked if I wanted to go meet her at this mall which is like 30 minutes away. I said yes. I started thinking should I work around her schedule... She has a girl with her and 2 guy friends. She was also driving so she could not drive back to my apartment by herself afterwards... So I called her back and told her I wasn't going to go to the mall b/c I invited her to come over my place to chill. I could tell she was mad a little. She said okay I see how it is or something like that. Anyways I'm like alright I gotta go, you can still come over blah blah. Damn I really wanted to go meet her up, but I CAN NOT let her control the movement of this game/dating phase. I need to tell her whats up. So I'm wondering if I was being too extreme? Maybe I f-ed up this time, but the game is all about improvement.
Anyways I just broke up w/ my girlfriend the other week, so being single is just so awesome. I'm starting to get symptoms of one-itis for this girl, but that will change because I'm only talking to her right now. I'm planning on going out tonight so I don't get one-itis on her and to talk to more girls. More girls more choices. So was I too extreme by not meeting her up at the mall? I figured those guys would be ****ing up my game/**** blocking and there would be no alone time.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

PRMoon

Master Don Juan
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Nice first post rook!

I think you did well not catering to her and going to the mall of all places to help her carry her bags like a chump. If you invite someone some where and they change their plans/agenda, you have every right to say no to it and they can call you later. I think your actions are even more justified in that you just broke up with your g/f last week so you definately don't need to do anything too out of the way for a girl you're just an aquaintence with. If you hooked up with you a few times in the past and she's into you, then she'll call you later. If you're still feeling weird about it clear the air and say you were looking forward to personal time with her and hanging out with her friend just wasn't what you were prepared for at that time.

A bonus kudos to you for taking the intiative and going out tonight to see if you can play the field further! You definately want to open/establish more options for yourself so you don't get too tied down with one girl or miss out on other "potential" that's out there.
 

oobm

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Thanks PRmoon. One-itis is sucks and can mess with your emotions. I definitely don't want that when there are all those potentials out there. :D
 

The Bad Ass Canadian

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Welcome to the boards.

You handled that well, for a new guy. I think you understand the concept of what being a DJ is all about and you'll have tons of success judging by your first encounter as a recovering AFC.
 

DJDamage

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I like the way you handled yourself. It is my believe that when you first meet a girl you need to keep things basic.

In basic I mean that until she has not proved herself to you, the other people in her life should not enter your life and do not exist as far as I am concern. She can see her friends on her time, not on your time. When you make a date and the girl agrees to it, then its on. If she calls and wants to do "something else", well we can do that "something else" on our next date. I stick to my guns!

Same thing with her parents or family, I don't need to know them or meet them. Each one of the above characters (including her friends) has the potential to c0ckblock me therefore I choose not to bring myself there until I am confident in the girl I am with.

If and when I choose to be exclusive then I am ready to meet her clan.

DjDamage
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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oobm

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I used to read asf and dyd, but then I decided to see what having a gf would be like. I sure am enjoying the single life now. :p
 
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