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Here’s a story about what “not ready for a relationship” really means

RangerMIke

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Yes, but. Some women have not bothered trying to "get" me because they assumed I was out of their league and/or they thought I just wanted sex and wouldn't commit. So it's not so clear. Of course, if one has enough volume, then it's easier. But creating volume is really hard without devoting way too much time to it.
It really doesn't matter why a particular women won't chase you. If she won't chase you because she lacks confidence, this is BAD... because then everything is on your shoulders to make something happen. She has to put effort in or she will not value you. And if you happen to get into a relationship with one of these creatures... well... you are just taking on a 'passenger'. What you want from a chick, if you are looking for a relationship is a member of the 'crew'.

You should get to the point where it's just as important that you are physically attracted to her as that she has a level of confidence in herself enough where she will work for you. Lack of confidence is the most significant factor in sniffing out damaged women.
 

firstbornunicorn

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It really doesn't matter why a particular women won't chase you. If she won't chase you because she lacks confidence, this is BAD... because then everything is on your shoulders to make something happen. She has to put effort in or she will not value you. And if you happen to get into a relationship with one of these creatures... well... you are just taking on a 'passenger'. What you want from a chick, if you are looking for a relationship is a member of the 'crew'.

You should get to the point where it's just as important that you are physically attracted to her as that she has a level of confidence in herself enough where she will work for you. Lack of confidence is the most significant factor in sniffing out damaged women.
Good point dude. With my low volume it's sadly disastrous.
 

AttackFormation

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It really doesn't matter why a particular women won't chase you. If she won't chase you because she lacks confidence, this is BAD... because then everything is on your shoulders to make something happen. She has to put effort in or she will not value you. And if you happen to get into a relationship with one of these creatures... well... you are just taking on a 'passenger'. What you want from a chick, if you are looking for a relationship is a member of the 'crew'.

You should get to the point where it's just as important that you are physically attracted to her as that she has a level of confidence in herself enough where she will work for you. Lack of confidence is the most significant factor in sniffing out damaged women.
But then you have women telling each other the same on the other side. "Girl, if he wont put effort in ..... girl, if he really wanted you ...."
 

RangerMIke

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But then you have women telling each other the same on the other side. "Girl, if he wont put effort in ..... girl, if he really wanted you ...."
Women with confidence will ignore this advice. Again, do you really want a chick that that is always having to check in with their 'friends' any time something comes up between the two of you?

Women ALWAYS give the worst fvcking advice when it comes to men. Why? Because they approach relationships from a female perspective. A woman KNOWS intuitively that they have to chase men of value... so they automatically make the assumption that if a MAN does not chase them then the man does not value them... and therefor a waste of time.

Men are not women: Women are not men.

Women who follow this advice and try to make men chase them, lose attraction for these men VERY fast once they catch them... this is why most chicks have one 3-6 month 'relationship' after another. Now it could be that she is following some set of 'rules' and she is only to pretend not to care... well again... you don't want a chick like this either... IF you are looking for a relationship. Who wants some game playing b1tch in your life where you are always walking on broken glass.
 

firstbornunicorn

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do you really want a chick that that is always having to check in with their 'friends' any time something comes up between the two of you?
They will in the beginning until the relationship with the dude takes precedence. It's normal. And yeah, she is her friends.
 

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AttackFormation

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Women ALWAYS give the worst fvcking advice when it comes to men. Why? Because they approach relationships from a female perspective. A woman KNOWS intuitively that they have to chase men of value... so they automatically make the assumption that if a MAN does not chase them then the man does not value them... and therefor a waste of time.

Men are not women: Women are not men.

Women who follow this advice and try to make men chase them, lose attraction for these men VERY fast once they catch them... this is why most chicks have one 3-6 month 'relationship' after another.
But they also feel a man who does show any enthusiasm ("chasing") is not a challenge, and they lose respect/interest for him... if they simultaneously assume the man must show enthusiasm to show he values her, which way is it gonna be? it's like a matter and antimatter collision...
 
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Lookatu

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"Not ready for a relationship" = You're not worthy OR I wanna ride the c0ck carousel before I settle down again.
 

Bigpapa

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Well , this is why sex should be the main objective when meeting a new woman , and also this is why having sex as fast as possible it is also very important

if Brad would have slept with this woman , she would not have went for Joe

instead he took the nice guy route and ended up where he ended

The only person to be blamed here is Brad for being too much of a nice guy
 

Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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Well , this is why sex should be the main objective when meeting a new woman , and also this is why having sex as fast as possible it is also very important

if Brad would have slept with this woman , she would not have went for Joe

instead he took the nice guy route and ended up where he ended

The only person to be blamed here is Brad for being too much of a nice guy
or you can just match with a sloot who is more likely to put out much earlier and still be played because she was a sloot from the start
 

jimwho

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Women would rather capture a wild mustang and try to break them in then ride some old horse that is already broken in, tided up riding around in a circle like a County fair ride for little kids.
Bravo. I'm using this in my signature, (plagiarized) Very true. For years I didn't chase women, I would choose the ones that made a respectable effort to real me in. Admittedly I have aged out of those days and now find myself casting out a lure. But keeping this in mind will help me create attraction, and keep me grounded.
 
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Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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most good girls had at least an ons or fwb

you have a Madonna / wh0re complex
so, does it mean they are a sloot because they had one ONS on an off night. You have the right dude that might have just met the girl at the right time vs the girl that actively goes around seeking ONS on the reg. Are they really the same?
 

bat soup

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Backstory: A few months back I met who we’ll call Brad. Brad was pretty clear from the get go that he was interested in dating me. I was interested in him too, but since I just got out of a very bad 3 year relationship I told him I wanted to be friends first and take things slow which he was okay with. We got really close and hung out and spoke regularly. I grew to really like him a lot but I still wasn’t sure if I was ready to actually take the next step.

About a month ago Brad invited me to a small get together (very small because of COVID), we both got a little buzzed and when he walked me home he started holding my hand. I kind of just got caught up in the moment and ended up kissing him.

The next morning the tone of Brad’s texts changed and all of a sudden he was texting me “hey beautiful”. To tell the truth it freaked me out a little because everything was happening so fast. I took my time to respond, but I told him that while I thought he was an amazing person I just needed to be single for a while and I just couldn’t do a relationship right now, but I wanted to remain friends. He took it surprisingly well and things went mostly back to normal.

However, around this time I’d also reconnected with an old crush we’ll call Joe (24M) and had been hanging out with him too. Shortly after the kiss with Brad, Joe admitted he liked me and asked if I felt the same, to which I replied yes. Long story short Joe and I ended up becoming official about a week ago. I posted a picture on Instagram with my new boyfriend.

I honestly thought Brad would be happy for me, but now all of a sudden he’s stopped initiating conversations with me entirely, and when I do try to reach out to him I only get one word answers. I still think Brad is a wonderful person and it hurts that now all of a sudden he doesn’t seem to want to be friends anymore. What can I do about this? Any help is appreciated thanks!

tldr; Was seeing a guy for a few months, told him I only wanted to be friends because I wasn’t ready for a relationship at the time. He doesn’t want to be friends now that I’m dating another guy
I'm not ready for a relationship = I'm banging another guy.

I can't believe this woman is surprised that a guy that wanted a relationship with her isn't happy for her after she ditched him for someone else.
 

BadBoy89

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Tell Brad he is acting strange and that he should have no problem with you having sex with your old crush, Joe, while he has feelings for you. Tell him that the social convention in America is that women only care about how useful the guy is to the girl, and right now Brad is categorized as your emotional tampon while Joe is good for mind blowing sex and getting pregnant.

Tell Brad that should it not work with Joe, you will call and cry to him that Joe is a jerk and why cant you find a “nice” guy like him.

Tell Brad that men who express their feelings for girls and move slow are weak and feminine. And that men who treat girls like garbage are hot.

If Brad doesn’t understand that, you don’t need him a a friend.
 

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Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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I'm not ready for a relationship = I'm banging another guy.

I can't believe this woman is surprised that a guy that wanted a relationship with her isn't happy for her after she ditched him for someone else.
what if the other guy asked her for a relationship
 
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