Her Number of Sexual Partners

[dietzcoi]

If you are just STRing her, it won't matter, but I fail to understand how you guys can say it won't matter if you are going to marry or LTR somebody

Do you boys really think it is OK to marry a hoe who had been with 100/200/1000+ men??

Yuck!!!

So either it is or it is not OK to ask, and if it is not OK to ask, then it is OK to marry a real slvt.

I do not understand the logic here.

PR_L will it never stop?

Dietzcoi

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Whoa, you can cut the bitterness with a knife in here... I can appreciate the different opinions but d@mn....

 

[PimpNHard]

Women rarely (if ever) tell the truth ut this issue. I ask this usually during the course of my LTRs (on the rare occasion that happens) and can almost guarantee that I've never been given an honest answer. I even flat out caught this one Jamaican chick lying - I ask, she says 8 - I was smart - she had already told me about 9 guys she had been with. Had to call her on that bullsh!t then she says 18 - which i still didn't believe. Amazingly, I stayed with her.

When asking the question - should we ask women this question - my answer is: Women usually lie about this issue because no matter how high it is (it usually is high TOO!) they are ashamed to admit it. It's probably best not to ask 'cuz if u get an answer its probably a lie!

Should it matter? Well that is an answer entirely up to u and what u want. I kind of comcur with dietzcoi though - Who wants to marry a wh0re?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

But doesn't wh0ring go both ways? I'll be the first to admit without some of the AFCs in this forum that I have had my moments of overindulgence. What about men who could care less about the number of women they've bedded (having taken appropriate medical precautions of course).

From talking with a bunch of men and women I've come to fine out that men are more bothered by their partner's past history than women. It's the whole 'used goods' concept. It's surprising that more men don't still have the opinion that women should be virgins until marriage. What happened?

Women on the other hand, mostly don't care (unless they ARE virgins themselves). They are more concerned that their partner is faithful. In comparison, they are more concerned with what is happening in the present as opposed to men who are concerned with the past.

So what do we make of this? Is a woman's perception of her partner and maybe herself based on the present thus we can imply that they are more forgiving and less judgmental? Do we assume that we men are more concerned with past perceptions and history and are less forgiving and accepting of women or maybe ourselves? Is it based on some past experience that we haven't come to accept as yet? Could we be reacting to our emotions because we haven't completely dealt with those past issues?

Just something to think about...

 

[Mister Big]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Do we assume that we men are more concerned with past perceptions and history and are less forgiving and accepting of women or maybe ourselves? Is it based on some past experience that we haven't come to accept as yet? Could we be reacting to our emotions because we haven't completely dealt with those past issues?

Other than the STD issue, I don't consider a woman that has been with a lot of partners as a turn off. I get bothered by the double standard that most men apply to women. Why do women need to be less experienced to be good LTR material?

Women hung up on the limited partners issue (with themselves or others) seem very difficult to connect and maintain healthy relationships. They usually have a string of other old-fashioned hangups that can be challenges. This is just my experience although I have dated quite a few women that fall into the limited experience category. Either type is fine for the short term. More experience usually means a better time at least in the beginning.

 

[JohnJones]

Being troubled by it is goofy; having a preference is not. I also think most people are talking about sleazy hook-ups, not b/fs; I'm over 30 so it would be retarded and weak to be looking for a virgin or near virgin.

Reality is though that girls who used to sleep around were usually doing it because of poor self esteem, self image, weak ego, etc., all of which to me is synonamous with lack of self respect.

The AFC gets no where in life BECAUSE he has limited self respect. It's not really a double standard: I have yet to meet a woman who's had a ton of ONS who wasn't sad and pitiable in some way. And sad, pitiable "easy" people are not attractive, man or woman.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Mister Big
Women hung up on the limited partners issue (with themselves or others) seem very difficult to connect and maintain healthy relationships. They usually have a string of other old-fashioned hangups that can be challenges. This is just my experience although I have dated quite a few women that fall into the limited experience category. Either type is fine for the short term. More experience usually means a better time at least in the beginning.

I've seen the same thing. I had learned the same limiting beliefs when I was growing up, the whole Chasity thing. Even though it seems morally righteous, the stigmas associated with it seem unreasonable in that they tend to erode a person's 'liveliness' if that makes any sense.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by JohnJones
Being troubled by it is goofy; having a preference is not. I also think most people are talking about sleazy hook-ups, not b/fs; I'm over 30 so it would be retarded and weak to be looking for a virgin or near virgin.

Reality is though that girls who used to sleep around were usually doing it because of poor self esteem, self image, weak ego, etc., all of which to me is synonamous with lack of self respect.

The AFC gets no where in life BECAUSE he has limited self respect. It's not really a double standard: I have yet to meet a woman who's had a ton of ONS who wasn't sad and pitiable in some way. And sad, pitiable "easy" people are not attractive, man or woman.

I agree with all points but could you elaborate on why you feel that it's not really a double standard. I understand your example of women with an abundance of ONSs feeling a possible lack of self esteem, however I don't see the connection with there not being a double standard.

 

[JohnJones]

I don't see it as a double standard in that the central aspect (lack of self respect, confidence, whatever you want to call it) causes unattractive behavior in both sexes (makes boys into moonstruck AFC's and women into dopey college hook up queens) because they are both out to be "completed" by other people.

Men's views on female past promiscuity are more or less the same as women's views on male weakness. Or, men don't like hos and women don't like AFCs for the same reason: lack of self respect.

I also fervently believe that no man should ever ask his girl about this; some of them just love to talk about it

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by JohnJones
Men's views on female past promiscuity are more or less the same as women's views on male weakness. Or, men don't like hos and women don't like AFCs for the same reason: lack of self respect.

That's a d@mn good point!

 

[Mister Big]

Originally posted by JohnJones
I don't see it as a double standard in that the central aspect (lack of self respect, confidence, whatever you want to call it) causes unattractive behavior in both sexes (makes boys into moonstruck AFC's and women into dopey college hook up queens) because they are both out to be "completed" by other people.

I also fervently believe that no man should ever ask his girl about this; some of them just love to talk about it

I've noticed an appearance of a new type of professional woman since I was dating heavily about 10 years ago. They are more aggressive, liberated, and don't judge each other over casual sex. This is definitely "sex in the city" mirroring society or vice versa, but it does exist and seems to be increasing. If women don't have a problem with having many partners, especially if I'm included, then I don't. This seems to increase their sexual activity and creates more opportunities for all of us. Just make sure you are very,very,very safe. I am not judging them. I am scoring with them.

Asking her about # of partners is the kiss of death if she's younger. Older women like to talk about it and can handle it better. Never ask a woman unless you know she is just a temporary thing and you're getting kinky.

 

[bman]

who cares, if you're concerned if shes clean thats one thing, but her # of partners is something you really dont want to know.

 

[Genghis Juan]

Some excellent points have been made here!

Francisco d'Anconia - good points in that if you find a woman you really like, the number of sexual partners shouldn't matter. Also a good point about bringing up the points of the limits of the double standard.

JohnJones - perhaps you made the best point out of everyone and probably explain why the double standard exists - because women who are slutty easy hookups probably have lack of self-esteem and respect just like guys who are easily wrapped around a woman's finger for an LTR have a lack of self respect. Never thought of it that way!

Mister Big - about the more aggressive professional woman. I really don't think there is anything new under the sun going on. I think eversince the 70's, Yuppy women, particularly older ones, are more aggressive and have gotten over any hangups about the number of men women sleep with.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

This is why the definition of a hor is NOT relative, it is a absolute!!

If the girl who you are sexing is not your wife then she is horing!!!

Most men have hors for wives and LTRs!!! FOOLS!!!

 

[eat_me]

guys, your missing the point here, the point is if she's a loose goose, its not as good for us!

 

[Oxide]

You are jumping the gun here guys... people who marry hoes are the guys who are clueless and desperate.

You cant marry a hoe if you got a head on your shoulders, why?

When you are dating, before all that engagement bullsh1t you will see how she acts, you will evaluate her decisions. If she slips up and cheats.. she is out. There is plenty of time to figure out if you are dating a slut or a girl who will be loyal..

for me, i look at is as "partner training". I would set the conditions in front of the girl, and if they dont work for her, well that's too bad. For example.. i will make it clear that i will look and flirt with other women, but she can be assured there isnt going to be anything more than that. If she gives me sh1t about this, ill reply "This is the way i am, take it or leave it".


So no, you wont marry a hor like PRL is saying if you at least read this thread.

 

[belividere]

yes it is all about balogny drapery and meat curtains.

Seriously though that counting the rings line is probably the funniest thing I have ever read on this site.

The rest of this thread is a worthless arguement based on personal beliefs and insecurities. Dont expect the truth and dont get angry when you find out your girl was involved in a videotaped gangbang with five midgets and three peg legged sailors. Sluts aren't that hard to qualify are they?

 

[FrancoPUA]

If you ask a question like that you are making a huge mistake. You are:
- Telling her that SHE is the PRIZE and not YOU
- Telling her that you are scared of the competition with other males
- Telling her that you are jealous of her former relationships.

No matter do you really mean the above or not: that is the message she WILL get from your question.

If you frame the whole exclusive relationship in the right way from the beginning you will never be in the position of having to ask that question.

First of all tell her openly from the beginning that you are a player.

That will do a lot of good:
- Set yourself as a challenge from the beginning
- Give her drama
- Social proof yourself

Many guys believe that telling a chick that you are a player will ruin the relationship but in my experience it only enriches it. I did not find yet a chick who would dump me for telling her that I am a player.

Then when you have done this there will be a point where SHE will tell you "In which kind of relationship are we?" and then you can start to discuss about being exclusive or not but from a POSITION OF POWER because she will be the one to ask and you the one to decide.

At a certain point she WILL ask from you how many sex partners you have had. At that point remain VAGUE and be C&F. For example I remember Jean Paul Belmondo answering to a reporter "More than hundred and under 500".

Put her to BEG you to tell you many partners you had.

At that point she will be more than willing of telling you how many partners SHE had..

Ah. ALL the hot chicks who have a strong sexual drive almost probably had several sex partners unless they were in a relationship with a very ALPHA guy who knew how to be a challenge to her.

 

[Climax]

oh. my. god.

Look at what a big deal u are making over something like this!

If she says its none of ur business, it could mean 1 of 3 things:

1) She is a $lut

2) She is a virgin

3) She does not feel comfortable enough to share that information with you.

Some chicks are embarrassed about their past because they might have been $luts in the past but want to forget about that and NOT be $luts anymore, and by asking them that will be very awkward for them.

So if it’s going to be a short thing/1 night thing etc, then who cares how many ppl she has been with in the past? The more experiences she had, the better she will probably be in bed anyways. The only concern that i would have is if she was tested for STD's, and the results of the tests. Other than that, just HAVE YOUR FUN! You live life once, who gives a f*ck how many sexual partners she has had in the past, just have fun and go with it (I'm not talking about a LTR here)

Anyways... Every girl is different, and we CANNOT interperate what this girl mean by telling this guy that its none of his business, but we can think of the possibilities, but if he wants to find out, then he will have to give it time, and make her feel comfortable with him.. Comfortable enough to share something like that with him, and with some girls, that’s a "big thing" to share with another person.


Laterz...

 

[eddiepie]

I cringe everytime I am reminded how many guys my current gf (of 6 months) has slept with before me.

I remember asking this question, and her not telling me straight away. I regret ever wording it. Goddam it, avoid it at all costs.

I was a virgin at 19, she had had 10+ by the time she was 14.

****.