"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Her birthday

Themanthatcan

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Ok. This is pretty cut and dry, guys. I was chatting with a girl via email and she asked me what I was going to get her for her birthday. Of course, I don't want to tell her what I'm getting her. I'll be honest-I'm not in a very witty mood right now. I need a sarcastic funny retort that will give her a little laugh but won't give away what I got her.

I've thought of these so far, but they arn't exactly funny.:

Nothing.
A wink and a smile. :)
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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michaelhctam

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musclyjerk said:
Chatting with a girl?

Are you in a relationship with this girl? If not, tell her nothing and get her nothing.

The Muscly Jerk
Ditto.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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qweretyuiopas

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musclyjerk said:
Chatting with a girl?

Are you in a relationship with this girl? If not, tell her nothing and get her nothing.

The Muscly Jerk
x3

and if u in a relationship think about things she likes or likes to do, not just buy her some jewelry just cause. Like if she likes a certain food or restaurant or, she likes backrubs give her one, she like the park set up lunch there, she got a fav movie how it on dvd at yo place have some strawberries and cream then visit the bedroom for dessert ;) That way u aint spending much and the gift means something other than look at how much i spent on you.After her birthday dont do that again, have that be a real rare treat somethin to remember, u do it alot and its not special and just gets boring

if not in relationship then nothing, i also like the autographed pic of yourself idea thats some funny stuff
 

Themanthatcan

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qweretyuiopas said:
x3

and if u in a relationship think about things she likes or likes to do, not just buy her some jewelry just cause. Like if she likes a certain food or restaurant or, she likes backrubs give her one, she like the park set up lunch there, she got a fav movie how it on dvd at yo place have some strawberries and cream then visit the bedroom for dessert ;) That way u aint spending much and the gift means something other than look at how much i spent on you.After her birthday dont do that again, have that be a real rare treat somethin to remember, u do it alot and its not special and just gets boring

if not in relationship then nothing, i also like the autographed pic of yourself idea thats some funny stuff

XD I was about to post that idea.I'm an artist too so I drew her a flawless picture of her favorate actress, and I'm going to give her an autographed pic of me. But the point is- What do I tell her I'm getting her?
 

qweretyuiopas

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Themanthatcan said:
But the point is- What do I tell her I'm getting her?
Tell her its a surprise duh lol no need to make up something to tell her just say its a surprise.

Yeah thats another idea if u have a talent like that being an artist doing something like that is cool, plus it shows her how good u are. Now me im a chef so Id cook for her, cause I love it and im good at it

*edit woo 500th post only took me about a year and a half
 
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