"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Helping Women through an emotional crisis, right or wrong?

Taker

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The girl in question is not really a gf, we've been going out for a while and we're into eachother.

She texted me to talk to her on msn. Saying she needed someone to talk to. So I signed it (though some conflicts of AFCness VS DJism raged within me). She talked about her friend who just died of cancer.

Well I know at this point we're supposed to listen in so that she feels better, and she did afterward. However I wonder, would this be percieved as AFCness or being an emotional tampon coz I responded to her request (albeit not immediately)?

I've already attracted her, so I thought showing a little AFCness would build some comfort between us. Though I'm not sure if it's supplicating or not. I usually use C&F so I thought I SHOULD show her a bit of AFCness, as Pook puts it Perfect is Boring...

There's also the fact that if I do I might be percieved as AFC, if I don't I would be an a**h***...
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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THE_ADDMAN

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you're not caught up on just this one woman though.

riiiiiiight?
 

Taker

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no, having her or not does not matter too much for me. Though I just want to know when this situation arises again for other women. This is kinda a Catch 22 situation....which is why I'm confused :S
 

Raikojo17

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you guys are over thinking this seriously.

if she needs someone to talk to about her friend dying, then talk to her. ber there for her. that's wat men do.

if you want a relationship with her, u have to be more than a ****y funny pimp, u also have to be a friend. Be the guy that makes her forget all her problems, not the douche how doesnt give a damn. there wont be any connection between you 2 besides ur schlong in her spot if you dont ever support her.

there is nothing AFc about being a good support for her when she pbviously needs it so much. u guess take this DJ stuff way to seriously sometimes.

now go and be there for her and comfort her. Be a man, not a pimp.:box:
 

Redux

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Raikojo17 said:
you guys are over thinking this seriously.

if she needs someone to talk to about her friend dying, then talk to her. ber there for her. that's wat men do.

if you want a relationship with her, u have to be more than a ****y funny pimp, u also have to be a friend. Be the guy that makes her forget all her problems, not the douche how doesnt give a damn. there wont be any connection between you 2 besides ur schlong in her spot if you dont ever support her.

there is nothing AFc about being a good support for her when she pbviously needs it so much. u guess take this DJ stuff way to seriously sometimes.

now go and be there for her and comfort her. Be a man, not a pimp.:box:
Good.
Seriously that was hard for her it was good you were there.
"Use" her like that some time to see how she reacts.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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TillTheEndOfTime

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For something serious like a friend of her's dying of cancer, you listen. You did the right thing.

The times you DON'T listen are when she is b1tching about guys and general pms'ing or depressed without a serious reason. In that case you avoid her like the plague.
 

WhitePimp

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Yeah man, there's got to be a point where the laws of DJness go out the window and you just need to act like a human being who cares about another human being instead of an aloof player. Good job
 

NFC

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You did the did the right thing.

All she wanted was probably somebody to listen.. sometimes they need to cry a little on your shoulder, and you need to let them. Just don't over do it.

And of course.. as TillTheEndOfTime said.. if she starts getting *****y, pmsing, or talking about other guys with you.. then that would be the time to leave.
 

THE_ADDMAN

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having a heart is what separates a DJ from a cold player.

good point
 
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