"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Helping Women through an emotional crisis, right or wrong?

Taker

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The girl in question is not really a gf, we've been going out for a while and we're into eachother.

She texted me to talk to her on msn. Saying she needed someone to talk to. So I signed it (though some conflicts of AFCness VS DJism raged within me). She talked about her friend who just died of cancer.

Well I know at this point we're supposed to listen in so that she feels better, and she did afterward. However I wonder, would this be percieved as AFCness or being an emotional tampon coz I responded to her request (albeit not immediately)?

I've already attracted her, so I thought showing a little AFCness would build some comfort between us. Though I'm not sure if it's supplicating or not. I usually use C&F so I thought I SHOULD show her a bit of AFCness, as Pook puts it Perfect is Boring...

There's also the fact that if I do I might be percieved as AFC, if I don't I would be an a**h***...
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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THE_ADDMAN

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you're not caught up on just this one woman though.

riiiiiiight?
 

Taker

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no, having her or not does not matter too much for me. Though I just want to know when this situation arises again for other women. This is kinda a Catch 22 situation....which is why I'm confused :S
 

Raikojo17

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you guys are over thinking this seriously.

if she needs someone to talk to about her friend dying, then talk to her. ber there for her. that's wat men do.

if you want a relationship with her, u have to be more than a ****y funny pimp, u also have to be a friend. Be the guy that makes her forget all her problems, not the douche how doesnt give a damn. there wont be any connection between you 2 besides ur schlong in her spot if you dont ever support her.

there is nothing AFc about being a good support for her when she pbviously needs it so much. u guess take this DJ stuff way to seriously sometimes.

now go and be there for her and comfort her. Be a man, not a pimp.:box:
 

Redux

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Raikojo17 said:
you guys are over thinking this seriously.

if she needs someone to talk to about her friend dying, then talk to her. ber there for her. that's wat men do.

if you want a relationship with her, u have to be more than a ****y funny pimp, u also have to be a friend. Be the guy that makes her forget all her problems, not the douche how doesnt give a damn. there wont be any connection between you 2 besides ur schlong in her spot if you dont ever support her.

there is nothing AFc about being a good support for her when she pbviously needs it so much. u guess take this DJ stuff way to seriously sometimes.

now go and be there for her and comfort her. Be a man, not a pimp.:box:
Good.
Seriously that was hard for her it was good you were there.
"Use" her like that some time to see how she reacts.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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TillTheEndOfTime

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For something serious like a friend of her's dying of cancer, you listen. You did the right thing.

The times you DON'T listen are when she is b1tching about guys and general pms'ing or depressed without a serious reason. In that case you avoid her like the plague.
 

WhitePimp

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Yeah man, there's got to be a point where the laws of DJness go out the window and you just need to act like a human being who cares about another human being instead of an aloof player. Good job
 

NFC

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You did the did the right thing.

All she wanted was probably somebody to listen.. sometimes they need to cry a little on your shoulder, and you need to let them. Just don't over do it.

And of course.. as TillTheEndOfTime said.. if she starts getting *****y, pmsing, or talking about other guys with you.. then that would be the time to leave.
 

THE_ADDMAN

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having a heart is what separates a DJ from a cold player.

good point
 
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