Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Help with transitioning-Feminist to Put

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,441
Reaction score
6,932
Thanks, just watched "Tyler Durden" and some of Mystery on youtube.
I think I forget I'm female ffs.
What do you think, I've probably got everything I'm going to get off SS.
My education is complete.
You hv learned nothing from here.

It's because you hv never and can never be in a man's shoe.

Therefore, whatever u hv read or gleaned in here is read through the lens of the feminine mind.

And there is no such thing as a unisex brain - it's all lies.
 

Lynx nkaf

Banned
Joined
Nov 17, 2019
Messages
1,890
Reaction score
1,234
You hv learned nothing from here.

It's because you hv never and can never be in a man's shoe.

Therefore, whatever u hv read or gleaned in here is read through the lens of the feminine mind.

And there is no such thing as a unisex brain - it's all lies.
it's true.
I have only imagination to try to get what having 17x more testosterone is like...
pretty annoying, I bet


and maybe what I have learned is only fleeting, because it's theoretical and won't be put into use
ex. when the heck would I ever cold approach?
I think I found comfort here, the guys here are more alpha than they realise and it was nice to see again.
I learned more mental toughness. Grateful, many thanks.

I was reminded that honesty still begets honesty.

And that there's humans out there that are doing more, with even less support so I can stop my whining(oneitis indulgence)
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,734
Reaction score
6,664
Age
66
Location
The 7th Dimension
Thanks for your reply Spaz.
even a unicorn with no kids who is fixed?
I think when I was I 22 and started looking for doctors to sterilise me I knew that the rest of my dating life would be unusually challenging.

You can see how I make a good case for WGTOW.
Why do you call yourself a “unicorn”?

And at the start of this thread you call yourself a “feminist”. What makes you a feminist?
 

Lynx nkaf

Banned
Joined
Nov 17, 2019
Messages
1,890
Reaction score
1,234
No sir, not me as a unicorn, the man that has no kids and is fixed is the unicorn-hard to find. I used to do this writing error with my email friend M. who was a unicorn. He was a man with no kids and was fixed. The error where I start my reply by answering the last sentence first. I lost track of this email friend when my Dad died. Too much grief and I neglected M. A little insanity dealing with loss of my Dad too. It came out in my writing. I'd love to find M. again.

I wish I could edit posts here. I tend to always answer/reply to the last sentence in someone's post first.

Spaz's last sentence in post #25 was 'You'd be miserable with men your own age, 100 % confirmed'
I should have replied to the quote and backspaced everything but that sentence and replied "even a male unicorn with no kids who is fixed" so what I did was in post #27 I quoted myself and added to the sentence with brackets"(male unicorn, I mean)I don't know how to edit a post you've published already.

I never used to refer to myself as a feminist but after reading red pill stuff I can see how I'm looked at as a feminist....all because I work in a nontraditional work role and never wanted kids.
Personally, I thought it would have been feminist-like if I had ever agreed to go to high schools and demonstrate what its like being a female in male trades but I'm not unduly influencing girls who haven't even decided who to marry and have kids with.
So I always turned down those requests. Maybe I'd do a presentation to postwall and hopeless women who need steady employment but that's about it.
Guys call me a feminist because of the occupation I hope, not because of any vibe I give off.
If I don't believe I'm feminist I should stop selfdescribing as such. I was just beating guys to the punch again. The name feminist is such a neg hit and it always worked out better in conversations to just agree and amplify.

Maybe I shouldn't have selfdescribed as one here.

My Dad would have been 70 this year. I can't date my "Dad" ffs. Had excellent Dad/daughter dynamics. No daddy issues.
I want to say maybe 60 years old would be my limit or crazily 90 years old but not my Dad's age-year. omg. (found the edit/delete dots besides the word report at bottom of thread-are they always there or does the ability to edit/delete disappear after a certain amount of time?)
 
Last edited:

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,441
Reaction score
6,932
You never did ask me why I said 70, even those men in their 60's would be fine, but a 70 y/o healthy manly male would do you wonders.

You can find those in rural areas.

You just need to be feminine enough and pleasing enough to the eye.
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,734
Reaction score
6,664
Age
66
Location
The 7th Dimension
No sir, not me as a unicorn, the man that has no kids and is fixed is the unicorn-hard to find. I used to do this writing error with my email friend M. who was a unicorn. He was a man with no kids and was fixed. The error where I start my reply by answering the last sentence first. I lost track of this email friend when my Dad died. Too much grief and I neglected M. A little insanity dealing with loss of my Dad too. It came out in my writing. I'd love to find M. again.

I wish I could edit posts here. I tend to always answer/reply to the last sentence in someone's post first.

Spaz's last sentence in post #25 was 'You'd be miserable with men your own age, 100 % confirmed'
I should have replied to the quote and backspaced everything but that sentence and replied "even a male unicorn with no kids who is fixed" so what I did was in post #27 I quoted myself and added to the sentence with brackets"(male unicorn, I mean)I don't know how to edit a post you've published already.

I never used to refer to myself as a feminist but after reading red pill stuff I can see how I'm looked at as a feminist....all because I work in a nontraditional work role and never wanted kids.
Personally, I thought it would have been feminist-like if I had ever agreed to go to high schools and demonstrate what its like being a female in male trades but I'm not unduly influencing girls who haven't even decided who to marry and have kids with.
So I always turned down those requests. Maybe I'd do a presentation to postwall and hopeless women who need steady employment but that's about it.
Guys call me a feminist because of the occupation I hope, not because of any vibe I give off.
If I don't believe I'm feminist I should stop selfdescribing as such. I was just beating guys to the punch again. The name feminist is such a neg hit and it always worked out better in conversations to just agree and amplify.

Maybe I shouldn't have selfdescribed as one here.

My Dad would have been 70 this year. I can't date my "Dad" ffs. Had excellent Dad/daughter dynamics. No daddy issues.
I want to say maybe 60 years old would be my limit or crazily 90 years old but not my Dad's age-year. omg. (found the edit/delete dots besides the word report at bottom of thread-are they always there or does the ability to edit/delete disappear after a certain amount of time?)
Do you give off a feminine vibe or more of a masculine one? You need to be very careful hanging around here in the bull pen because you’re in danger of becoming like us, which is antithetical to femininity. I always warn women about this because I see it happening again and again. You’re picking up on our terminology and using it in an almost mechanical, plug-in way, so be careful not to become like us.

Are you here to get a better handle on men’s ways, to figure us out to some degree?

Since you seem to be “retooling” yourself, in addition to the question I asked above, let me ask you this: Is your hair short or long? I’m trying to get an idea of how you present yourself because we can probably help you if you’re interested.

I have a bunch of suggestions but I don’t know for sure what your purpose for being here is so I’ll withhold for now.

Regarding editing, there should be an edit link near the bottom of your posts. Since I’m a mod, my interface is different from yours, so I can’t remember for certain, but I’m pretty sure everyone has that link available.
 

Lynx nkaf

Banned
Joined
Nov 17, 2019
Messages
1,890
Reaction score
1,234
Do you give off a feminine vibe or more of a masculine one? I think feminine because at work and in stores I am told/approached that I look nice and like I want to help people. You need to be very careful hanging around here in the bull pen because you’re in danger of becoming like us, which is antithetical to femininity. I always warn women about this because I see it happening again and again. You’re picking up on our terminology and using it in an almost mechanical, plug-in way, so be careful not to become like us. You ARE right, no denying there's that logical outcome. I only have a bit of time left to comment here before I pass over to being too masculine, IMO.

Are you here to get a better handle on men’s ways, to figure us out to some degree? To the degree that I'm looking for a relay pass(track & field term) or a tap-in(taking my turn in a practice boxing session ordered by our class instructor)

Since you seem to be “retooling” yourself, in addition to the question I asked above, let me ask you this: Is your hair short or long? Barely shoulderlength, I promised my oneitis ex I'd grow it out again. Strangely, he asked me to go naturally grey/white so I'm keeping my promise on that one too. He probably never know but I promised/agreed. I’m trying to get an idea of how you present yourself wearing a dress right now but with yoga pants not hose to go bikeriding. Zero colour/makeup, zero jewellery because we can probably help you if you’re interested. if you have time that'd be great, I have motivating, encouraging skills to pay you back with affirmations(not lovebombing) and I can share what books I've read or help validate you guys when what you're observing about women is true

I have a bunch of suggestions but I don’t know for sure what your purpose for being here is so I’ll withhold for now. in the spirit of the other recent started thread by member logos I'm looking for love not sex.

Regarding editing, there should be an edit link near the bottom of your posts. Since I’m a mod, my interface is different from yours, so I can’t remember for certain, but I’m pretty sure everyone has that link available. You're right it just times out after a bit.
I miss masculinity.

I also miss the 'beginner's mindset'. I don't get taught anything anymore because I have the basics down. (workplace skills)



I'd like to be told the cheatcode on how to find a mate who doesn't have kids nor ever wants them. Obviously, I think you guys here have this cheatcode to find such a man.


Do I have any value to bring to a man? Should I hire an image consultant to 'rebrand' myself before talking about dating again to find/screen for what I want?


If I really am stuck....not likely to get what I want, because I've painted myself into a corner, how do I get stronger? Physically and mentally so I can keep myself alive?


Would it be acceptable, still honest, to go guest mode here and stop logging in and replying? The mods would still see its me, from same ip address after tapping that cookie screen about the risk of getting sent the free guide.
I don't want to be thought of as sneaky.

Much respect and many thanks Sir.
 
Last edited:

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,734
Reaction score
6,664
Age
66
Location
The 7th Dimension
If you want to be attractive to a quality man, you need to take care of your figure, which from other threads, I see you are starting to do. Life isn't fair. Men's first and foremost trigger of attraction is appearance. For most it's not perfection (which is the vibe that is given off here on SS) but in RL, it's attention to neatness and a bit of stylishness.

You are shooting yourself in the foot by leaving your hair gray/white. That is going to turn off the VAST majority of men. What rights does this ex have over you now? None. Zero. You need to cut him loose along with that "promise". That promise is no longer valid. Do yourself a favor and get that hair colored and KEEP IT ON THE LONG SIDE. No shorter than what it is now.

When I see white/gray hair it's an insta-disqualification, and that's true of most men.

Dress and yoga pants? Doesn't sound all that attractive to me. If you're going to work out, wear coordinated workout clothing if you can afford it. Other times a dress or nice pants/jeans.

A little makeup goes a long way. I stress a LITTLE. Ditto with jewelry. Basically you want to broadcast to men that you are on the market and that you are willing to look nice for him. Men want a woman who takes pleasure in looking nice for him.

Most women think that men are impressed or even care about their career or job. The fact is that we couldn't care less unless it's something troubling. Her job is close to meaningless for us. We are not impressed by what you do for a living. Rather, we are impressed with your inner core and femininity and whether you value us enough to look nice for us.

There are some men who are attracted to more active, aggressive or "tom-boyish" women, but that's the minority.

I hope you will take these tips to heart. You don't have to go crazy trying to re-brand. Just be yourself, but be your best self. Show men that you care about how you present yourself to them. Smiling is also extremely attractive to men. If you have a "resting b!tch face", you want to practice smiling.

You've noticed that just about everything I mentioned has to do with appearance. Again that's because this is the primary attractor for men. In terms of personality, be friendly, polite, humble, don't interrupt when he's talking (something that gets us very angry), and lose any traces of radical feminism. Having said that, the right man will certainly want to hear your opinions on things and will value them as long as there is compatibility.

You have every right to go anonymous and not log in. We don't check IPs like that. We only check them for logged in troublemakers. You can be anonymous all you want. We have thousands upon thousands of lurkers here.
 

Lynx nkaf

Banned
Joined
Nov 17, 2019
Messages
1,890
Reaction score
1,234
If you want to be attractive to a quality man, you need to take care of your figure, which from other threads, I see you are starting to do. Life isn't fair. Men's first and foremost trigger of attraction is appearance. For most it's not perfection (which is the vibe that is given off here on SS) but in RL, it's attention to neatness and a bit of stylishness.

You are shooting yourself in the foot by leaving your hair gray/white. That is going to turn off the VAST majority of men. What rights does this ex have over you now? None. Zero. You need to cut him loose along with that "promise". That promise is no longer valid. Do yourself a favor and get that hair colored and KEEP IT ON THE LONG SIDE. No shorter than what it is now.

When I see white/gray hair it's an insta-disqualification, and that's true of most men.

Dress and yoga pants? Doesn't sound all that attractive to me. If you're going to work out, wear coordinated workout clothing if you can afford it. Other times a dress or nice pants/jeans.

A little makeup goes a long way. I stress a LITTLE. Ditto with jewelry. Basically you want to broadcast to men that you are on the market and that you are willing to look nice for him. Men want a woman who takes pleasure in looking nice for him.

Most women think that men are impressed or even care about their career or job. The fact is that we couldn't care less unless it's something troubling. Her job is close to meaningless for us. We are not impressed by what you do for a living. Rather, we are impressed with your inner core and femininity and whether you value us enough to look nice for us.

There are some men who are attracted to more active, aggressive or "tom-boyish" women, but that's the minority.

I hope you will take these tips to heart. You don't have to go crazy trying to re-brand. Just be yourself, but be your best self. Show men that you care about how you present yourself to them. Smiling is also extremely attractive to men. If you have a "resting b!tch face", you want to practice smiling.

You've noticed that just about everything I mentioned has to do with appearance. Again that's because this is the primary attractor for men. In terms of personality, be friendly, polite, humble, don't interrupt when he's talking (something that gets us very angry), and lose any traces of radical feminism. Having said that, the right man will certainly want to hear your opinions on things and will value them as long as there is compatibility.

You have every right to go anonymous and not log in. We don't check IPs like that. We only check them for logged in troublemakers. You can be anonymous all you want. We have thousands upon thousands of lurkers here.
I will take these to heart, thank you for your time. I feel encouraged that this could be easier than I thought, thanks for the hand-up. Lurker mode commenced.
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
4,614
Reaction score
6,452
Age
55
@Lynx nkaf its a funny thing. Appearance is everything at first as the guys have all said.

Men like trim women with good skin, healthy long hair and a good sense of style. Hygiene is a big deal, especially scent. Men love a little perfume, makeup that enhances your beauty and jewelry/clothing that makes a statement about how you carry yourself & look after yourself.

Instead of a super self sufficient attitude where men are concerned you are better to adopt a “graciously accepting” attitude and a grateful attitude where you are thankful for the help & assistance men offer you. You seem to have such an attitude in your replies here...

That’s the right attitude. Atom Smasher is correct about interrupting. Men *hate* that...even though they are guilty of it themselves at times.

I think patience and listening ability are valuable to men. Men tend to confide more in a trusted female than they do to other men often times. My BF has told me some stories over and again. I simply listen and do not interrupt. He needs to feel heard, even when he doesn’t realize he’s repeating himself. It’s a simple thing...but he feels heard and that’s important.

Being pleasant company is also very important. Have standards, hold to them, but be pleasant to be around. Defer to him and let him lead and make decisions as much as possible. You’ll find if you do this a good man will solicit a trusted woman’s opinion and will consider her input carefully.

But your physical presentation comes first. Men are visual and appreciate a youthful look. Believe me I know it takes work as you get older. But hiking is amazing as is lifting or even working out with stretches at home during this virus thing.

Get your hormone profile checked. As we age our hormones change and that drives our metabolism as well.

I have friends who are “kept” women. They are attractive, pleasant, and they look after their man and his abode as top priority.

Just a few thoughts. Cheers.
 

Lynx nkaf

Banned
Joined
Nov 17, 2019
Messages
1,890
Reaction score
1,234
@Lynx nkaf its a funny thing. Appearance is everything at first as the guys have all said.

Men like trim women with good skin, healthy long hair and a good sense of style. Hygiene is a big deal, especially scent. Men love a little perfume, makeup that enhances your beauty and jewelry/clothing that makes a statement about how you carry yourself & look after yourself.

Instead of a super self sufficient attitude where men are concerned you are better to adopt a “graciously accepting” attitude and a grateful attitude where you are thankful for the help & assistance men offer you. You seem to have such an attitude in your replies here...

That’s the right attitude. Atom Smasher is correct about interrupting. Men *hate* that...even though they are guilty of it themselves at times.

I think patience and listening ability are valuable to men. Men tend to confide more in a trusted female than they do to other men often times. My BF has told me some stories over and again. I simply listen and do not interrupt. He needs to feel heard, even when he doesn’t realize he’s repeating himself. It’s a simple thing...but he feels heard and that’s important.

Being pleasant company is also very important. Have standards, hold to them, but be pleasant to be around. Defer to him and let him lead and make decisions as much as possible. You’ll find if you do this a good man will solicit a trusted woman’s opinion and will consider her input carefully.

But your physical presentation comes first. Men are visual and appreciate a youthful look. Believe me I know it takes work as you get older. But hiking is amazing as is lifting or even working out with stretches at home during this virus thing.

Get your hormone profile checked. As we age our hormones change and that drives our metabolism as well.

I have friends who are “kept” women. They are attractive, pleasant, and they look after their man and his abode as top priority.

Just a few thoughts. Cheers.
This is valuable, thank you!

I am doing some things right, but I'm also doing some things wrong.

It would be in my best interest to go silent on my childfree by choice stark honesty.
I was always taught to be honest, but my preference is in the extreme minority and to my detriment to 'say out loud'
Thanks for the encouragement to get health checked and I want to admit something.
I'm not sure this was an appropriate thread for me to start. Here. On Sosuave.

It could be interpreted as antagonistic or inflammatory. Like I'm 'trying to start something'.
I'm sorry. But my selfperception has been stunted and I feel the disconnect from my femininity as I've tried to deter attention from men so long. Because of working with them laboriously in industrial settings.

I did have an inkling of what's attractive to the man I prefer, but I'm so conditioned to see all men as coworkers that its like I shortcircuit myself.

I reviewed the clothing I currently own and I'm disappointed in the selection.
Mostly work related/workwear type clothing.
I currently only own a few essential oils as scent, heavy alcohol content perfumes just don't suit me if I try the sample at the beginning of the day off from work to experiment.
I did find one that is a roses scent that suits me.
I do have basic makeup with me but its like I forget to apply it.
If I'm receiving inappropriate attention at work(excessive)it changes my workday and it has been something my ex has noticed.
Thus why he encouraged me to display my true age(through not colouring my hair, he also asked me not to wear jewellery and although he seemed fascinated at the makeup I wore only once in the 14 months I knew him, he told me it wasn't necessary with him.)
But I agree, it is a youthful appearance that men seek. Which goes beyond men just instantly deciding to make you a mother figure.

Appearance:
I am working on this right away and with more energy.
Trim and neat and stylish. Then I'll work on the youthful.

Personality:
Not so honest(to reveal the childfree by choice thing and how do I fake liking kids? I always mistrusted meeting female adults when I was a kid, that laid on the saccharin-sweet voice and you could just tell didn't have a maternal instinct towards kids); become more gracious and less attitude; and perhaps, actually hide what I do for a living as the proclamation of selfsufficiency it screams is a turnoff.
I wonder if I interrupt men in speech, I don't think I do but I'm now paying serious attention to noticing if I do.

The incongruency between who I am and who I want to be is vast in terms of appearance. I'm almost discouraged its too vast.
The personality seems easier to work on.

This is valuable, thank you for your observations and input.
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,734
Reaction score
6,664
Age
66
Location
The 7th Dimension
Don’t let yourself be overwhelmed. Like anything, success is guaranteed if you just start some tiny, baby steps and keep at them and add slowly to them.

Also, don’t get too hung up on youth. This site is not representative of most men out there. Most men do not expect perfection and are perfectly happy when a woman does her best with what God has given her. The exception would be hair. Gray hair is an instant, nuclear turn-off, unless the guy is very old. I’m 62 and I find it a huge turn-off. Here’s why: It conveys to men that she has given up; that she doesn’t care about being attractive.

Regarding interrupting, men and women communicate in entirely different ways. Look at two men having a conversation. They take very specific turns, and most of their communication is the exchange of information. They are very careful to avoid interrupting each other and will even apologize for interrupting if they accidentally do. Interrupting is considered extremely disrespectful.

This is why men absolutely hate when women interrupt them. It is seen as blatantly disrespectful.

Now watch two or more women in a conversation. They will chatter on and step all over each other conversationally. And amazingly to us men, neither of them gets mad. It seems to be part of the experience of bonding. It is more than just exchanging information, as it is with men. Sometimes I watch this going on and I shake my head and smile, saying to myself, “Viva la difference”. These hen parties where all these women are chattering together is a real mystery to us.

That doesn’t fly with men. It felt as deep, deep disrespect when a woman continually interrupts him. Women stumble into this because they only know their own way of communicating, and so are very surprised when a man reacts harshly to this.

I believe that many a woman has lost a good man because of ignorance of this fact. These days women are taught that it is demeaning to adjust to a man. Well, that is nature... just the way it works. In his own (different) way, a man must adjust to the woman and make his own sacrifices.

Oh well, that’s my soapbox speech for today. Hopefully it gives you a bit of insight.

The real takeaway is start out small, just a little at a time, and work your way up. You’ll get to where you want to be. The big picture is daunting, but with any great goal, there is always only one little tiny next step to be done. When we concentrate on the steps instead of the big picture, the goal becomes very manageable.
 

Lynx nkaf

Banned
Joined
Nov 17, 2019
Messages
1,890
Reaction score
1,234
These replies are all valuable. I saved them all.
Thank you sincerely for commenting.
This is going to take some time to transition. I feel encouraged from everyone's replies and I've been thinking nonstop about all possibilities and what my next few steps will be.

I remember what wearing makeup and having nice clothes and perfume and long hair was like and it was at a time I had more female friends for support and to trade clothes with and shop with.
I may just have to find them, before I find a Him.
I'm going back to university for September, or whenever its open again. I can do both school and work. That environment will be motivating too, just like this board. I went to an engineering night a month ago with headhunters from three employers and I wanted to determine which branch of engineering was in the highest demand.
It was the female prof organiser of the event and a female engineering student that were excited/enthusiastic for me as a currently unenrolled student but a person with decades in the trades.(transferable, applicable skills).
Why didn't I "number close" with either of them? They would make great friends to help with my image-I admired them both. The prof was very well dressed, coordinated-stylish jewellery and the student was neat and simple with no makeup but she did have beautiful hair and very good conversation manners. Very positive to talk to.
The skills guys talk about here I can apply to getting new friends. No problem cold approaching females just didn't number close(not to date them but to establish a network of friends-I could blatantly tell them my goals of image change and see if they're up for helping me. I would always find a way to pay them back or help them with something--'try to be a good friend in order to have good friends')
 
Last edited:

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
4,614
Reaction score
6,452
Age
55
These replies are all valuable. I saved them all.
Thank you sincerely for commenting.
This is going to take some time to transition. I feel encouraged from everyone's replies and I've been thinking nonstop about all possibilities and what my next few steps will be.

I remember what wearing makeup and having nice clothes and perfume and long hair was like and it was at a time I had more female friends for support and to trade clothes with and shop with.
I may just have to find them, before I find a Him.
I'm going back to university for September, or whenever its open again. I can do both school and work. That environment will be motivating too, just like this board. I went to an engineering night a month ago with headhunters from three employers and I wanted to determine which branch of engineering was in the highest demand.
It was the female prof organiser of the event and a female engineering student that were excited/enthusiastic for me as a currently unenrolled student but a person with decades in the trades.(transferable, applicable skills).
Why didn't I "number close" with either of them? They would make great friends to help with my image-I admired them both. The prof was very well dressed, coordinated-stylish jewellery and the student was neat and simple with no makeup but she did have beautiful hair and very good conversation manners. Very positive to talk to.
The skills guys talk about here I can apply to getting new friends. No problem cold approaching females just didn't number close(not to date them but to establish a network of friends-I could blatantly tell them my goals of image change and see if they're up for helping me. I would always find a way to pay them back or help them with something--'try to be a good friend in order to have good friends')
Always remember that a journey of a thousand steps starts with the first few...

Or...as a science type myself think of this:

The variance of one degree of trajectory becomes monumental over the course of a long journey or path. You determine your degree of trajectory...

Get your hair professionally colored by a good stylist. That’s a wonderful place to start re-emerging. You’ll see your new attitude and intent reflected back to you each time you see a mirror. Smile at yourself. See your spark.

I often eschew makeup and so forth to downplay my looks professionally. But elsewhere? Make up, jewelry cute clothes & figure flattering.

You can do this. Blossom into the woman you can be one day at a time. Set your trajectory. Ya know, honestly it’s an encouraging bunch here. A little locker roomish at times...but it’s men. That’s how they are. And this is their space.

God love ‘em!
 

Lynx nkaf

Banned
Joined
Nov 17, 2019
Messages
1,890
Reaction score
1,234
Always remember that a journey of a thousand steps starts with the first few...

Or...as a science type myself think of this:

The variance of one degree of trajectory becomes monumental over the course of a long journey or path. You determine your degree of trajectory...

Get your hair professionally colored by a good stylist. That’s a wonderful place to start re-emerging. You’ll see your new attitude and intent reflected back to you each time you see a mirror. Smile at yourself. See your spark.

I often eschew makeup and so forth to downplay my looks professionally. But elsewhere? Make up, jewelry cute clothes & figure flattering.

You can do this. Blossom into the woman you can be one day at a time. Set your trajectory. Ya know, honestly it’s an encouraging bunch here. A little locker roomish at times...but it’s men. That’s how they are. And this is their space.

God love ‘em!
aww thanks, I appreciate your trajectory analogy-the tolerances at work are on average 1/16th inch but I always aim for perfect/flush because otherwise over the span that 1/16th you pushed to tolerance limit becomes out of tolerance over the total measurement: depending on length and other factors. So tiny changes only are going to be effective for me, I think.

I just got the chemicalfree home dye yesterday but next time I will go to the lady I've only paid to cut. I will ask her to colour.
The last few pieces of clothing have been figure flattering after I watched that one Mrrs. Mid.w youtube video on feminine and flattering clothing.
I did used to wear cute clothing-I miss it actually.
I live my life one day at a time for the last few years now; sometimes I start that day over partway through the day. Its gives me freedom and is self-forgiving.
This is valuable and achievable advice and I noticed you are also at the Master Don Juan level here on SS. I'm lucky to get quality advice
 
Top