"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Help with humor!

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DogFashionDisco

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Ok, so I have this broadcasting class, where we report school news and crap on tv for the whole school to see. Well tomorrow I get the newsdesk position, where I have to be the one who tells people stuff. What would be a funny way to do this?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Morphiex

Master Don Juan
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watch some snl (saturday night live) cuz they do some sketchez on newscasters....

and look at some newzcasters that are popular , and look how they do something special , like some handgestures and stuff , now try to make it into something funny.... just use ur immagination....
 
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DJ4Real

Master Don Juan
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Yeah, SNL would work.

Just don't over do it.

You make jokes about anything...
 
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